I'LL WRECK YOUR HOMEWORL--

Hey, son!

Uh, uhh...?

Were you... watching me sleep?

Like a papa hawk.

I don't wanna miss the MOMENT you go Super Saiyan.

Wow! It's been nearly three months in here, and... you still think I can do it?

Well, yeah! If you don't, the whole world'll be doomed!

Or not... maybe I can handle it... so don't sweat it!

And get some sleep, son!

Uhh... yeah, okay...

''Cause tomorrow... I'mma get you Super Saiyan.'

♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

Naw, see, I'm *definitely* going with Krillin. Call it a safe bet, but I think his history speaks for itself.

You haven't known him as long as I have. Sure, he can be a little... (Sigh), well, he's a total bitch. But when we really need him, he's always stepped up.

Vegeta, on the other hand...

Hey, uh, what're you two talking about?

Aw, we're just making a bet to see who screws this up.

See - he's betting on Krillin, but I'm betting on Vegeta.

Ohhh... I'll get in on that action.

(Cooing)

Okay - Vegeta or Krillin?

(Cooing)

Both.

*Wow*.

*Damn*!

Eh, please, I've been in this longer than the both of you.

Although, if I had to pick who's gonna screw up first...

(Screaming from a distance)

'Okay Krillin, pull yourself together.'

'She's right over there... standing there like a... mechanical angel... and all I have to do is push this button and... watch her explode...!'

'Everywhere.'

'Little bit of blonde hair here... her blue eyes there... and then it's done! I m--I mean, she probably won't even feel it!'

'Or even know it happened - just her life... ended in an instant... by me... with no Dragon Balls to wish her back when Cell dies...'

'D--Oh c'mon, Krillin! Be strong for one second in your worthless life and push the stupid button!'

'If you don't, everyone you know and love is going to die!'

'INCLUDING HER!'

'Oh...'

...aaaaaaaaaaa--!

Quiet, boy!

Hnnng!

Now... continue.

Thank you.

You see, my dear Prince--

Don't push it.

Uh, you see, Vegeta, this is only my second form. I am merely *semi*-perfect.

Wait, how can you be *semi*-perfect? You're either *perfect* or you're *not* me; there's no gray area.

My point, is that this form was achieved by absorbing my brother, Android 17... and the only way I may obtain *true* perfection...

...is to absorb the *bitch*. So in summation: You get the Android, and I get a proper challenge.

Oh, I promise you Vegeta... you're going to get everything that's coming to you.

Ohoho, ominous!

He wouldn't...! Sixteen, he wouldn't, would he?!

Wouldn't you?

*No*!

I'm sorry... what are we talking about again?

Huh?!

Hey!

'Whoa, it's the cute one.'

'Was he hiding there?'

'Wait, what's that on the grou--'

Oh my God (!)

H... hi...!

Uh, hey...

Look, I just... can I ask something of you?

S-sure?

Un, g-g-gh-gh, *please* don't kill anyone!

Wait, are you--

NO DEAL!

Sixteen!

Son Goku is a person; therefore he is *part* of "anyone".

*Therefore*: No. Deal.

Sixteen, calm down, I will *get* you a Goku!

...Do you promise?

Yes!

...Proceed.

Okay, now listen: We weren't planning on killing anyone.

Except Goku!

We haven't even killed anyone thus far. In fact, the only thing we want *dead* right now is *Cell*.

Also Goku!

Oh.

Thank God, that makes this so much easier!

HA! And *you* owe me some zeni!

Oh *no*...!

Alright, what did Krillin do?

He crushed the remote.

He did WHAT?!

That was twenty hours of my life; that DICK!

And possibly the rest of it if Vegeta follows suit.

I don't understand! All he had to do was push the button and blow up the--

...*the girl*.

Oh, that makes sense.

I don't get it.

He really did it... he actually risked every life on the planet just for...

for *cyber-sex*!

I didn't Kikoho myself half to death so he could get laid!!

Oh...

gross.

Oh... oh wow... well, I mean, that was... really sweet and all, but... maybe you should've kept that around.

What? *Why*?

Vegeta, this is the only chance you're going to get.

If she slips away now, you'll never get the opportunity to fight me at my full potential.

And let's be honest: Do you really think *Goku* can give you the challenge you deserve?

Ya know, the funny thing is, I know you're playin' me...

but you're right. She's all yours.

Oh-ho, thank you Vegeta!

Trust me - great things are about to happen...

Oh no, god *damn* him!

Okay, now what did *Vegeta* do?

He's letting Cell absorb Eighteen!

Well, looks like nobody wins...

Well, I technically do.

(Cooing)

♪ You guys owe me zeeeniii~ ♪

CELL IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!

(Crying)

Jeez, bring down the whole mood, why don't you?

(Crying)

Make it snappy! The boy's gotta be in bed by seven or he gets cranky.

Huh!

Yeah, so I'm gonna be the only voice of reason here and say *absolutely not*!

Hurrgh!

Don't you get it?! He's just been feeding you everything you wanna hear!

He's playing you!

To be fair, I haven't lied since I got here.

You're not involved in this anymore!

I'm feeling pretty involved...

*Boy*, don't make me come up there and be a parent!

First time for everything!

Ohoho!

WOW, Vegeta, are you just gonna stand there and take th--

(Gasp)

'Huh? Why is he doing th-- ...oh... oh no...'

'wait, but there's Krillin! Does he have the--'

'...no...! But, why?! He... why?! But, the Android! Krillin... crushed remote! But... could turn... perfect! Crushed! Why?! Kril--? But... *twenty hours*!'

*WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU*?!?!

Oh hey, it's Trunks!

Hurrgh...!

(manly scream)

I said absolutely NOT!

ARGH!

'Huh, Vegeta was right. He *is* almost as strong as--'

AAUGH!

Look, if this is about getting your own turn in, just wait until I'm done with him!

Just ignore him. Krillin! Get the Androids out of here NOW!

Don't need to tell me twice! Or at all, actually...

Let's go!

Right! [To 16] Sixteen, let's move!

But I just got comfortable...

Sixteen!

More importantly, Cell is only after you. I will slow you down.

Now go!

Fine, but I'm coming back for you!

You're doing a brave thing.

As are you.

You are way out of your league, tiny duck.

So hey, I know this isn't the best time, but um-er-uh, are you seeing anyone right now?

ARGH!

ERGH!

She *is*.

There you are!

Vegetaaa~! Trunks is picking on meee~!

Learn to share, brat!

Huh?

D'AAGH! AUGH! Ah-hah!

That's better.

Now, Eighteen... I'm not sure I like you hanging around with other men. Or in this case... half of one.

Oh-yeah-no-the-short-joke-yeah-sure-fine...

How about you leave the girl alone?

C'mon Sixteen, don't be so jealous. This is meant to be, and she knows it. Just look at what she's wearing! She's practically *asking* to be absorbed!

Okay, that line has been *crossed*. You wanna go, big guy?!

LET'S GO--!

AAGH!

Oh no, who would've seen that coming?

Anyway--

...Really?

Oh, you precious little cinnamon bun! Never change!

B'AAGH!

Haah!

'A one-y and a two-ey and a you-know-what-to-do-ey!'

AAGH!

That is IT! I am stopping this now!

Oh?! What're you doin'?!

What am I doing?!

Thwartin' ma plans?!

Thwarting your plans?!

*Are you*?!

...You know what?!

*YES*!!

SSPLAAAARRRGGHH...!!!

'Oh, God...'

'If I had a nose, I'm pretty sure it'd be broken.'

(Gasp)

Oh no...!

You leave her alone or I SWEAR I'LL--

No, little duckling! It is not your time!

FUTURE KICK!

What?

D'ooargh!

Blow yourself up or leave! I don't care which!

Yeah, okay...!

(Grunting)

I hope you know, this means wa-- wahglbrrlgbllgngrnbglrbglgrl!

Where is Vegeta...?

Ur-urgh...!

Duh!

C'mon Sixteen, *move it*!

Why. Are You. Still Here?!

It's like Seventeen said, remember? The Three Amigos? Well, I guess more like... Dos Compadres, now...

Here, uh, allow me. I might not be good for much but, I can lift.

'If we make it through this, I am going to ROCK his four-foot world.'

Huh.

This is a new feeling.

Pride in someone else.

Unfortunately, it's overshadowed by all this UNYIELDING RAGE!!!

...glbrrlgbllgngrnbglrbglgrl!

BLAGH!

'Okay, THIS obviously isn't working!'

'Waaiitt...'

'Tenshinhan got me into this. And now... he's going to get me *out*.'

H-hey!

I've been so close for so long, and I can't take it anymore!

EIGHTEEN! I'm *coming*!

(Growling)

SOLAAR FLAAARE!

Ah, ahh-ha-ha...

'AH, MY RAGE HAS BLINDED ME!'

Now... for the climax.

(Still groaning)

I won't let him touch you. Just stay behind m--

AH-HA-HA!

SIXTEEN!

...*Yes*?

Look after the little guy...

Confirmed!

(Growling)

'*No*!'

'No!'

'NO!'

'YEEEESSSS!'

Hey, so, I can't sense power levels, but I can feel *that*.

Does that mean anything?

*We're f**ked*.

♫ "P" is for "Priceless", the look upon your faces ♫

♫ "E" is for "Extinction", all your puny races ♫

♫ "R" for "Revolution", which will be televised ♫

♫ "F" is for how F**ked you are, now allow me to reprise~ ♫

♫ "E" is for "Eccentric", just listen to my song ♫

♫ "C" is for "Completion", that I've waited for so long! ♫

♫ "T" is for the "Terror", upon you I'll bestow... ♫

(Chuckling)

My name is Perfect Cell. And I'd like to say... *Hello*.

We haven't even killed anyone thus far. In fact, the only thing we want *dead* right now is *Cell*.

Also Goku!

Oh.

Thank God, that makes this so much easier!

Huh?

AAH!

Well, it looks like my father just killed us all!

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