“Episode 33”

Freeza: Absalon.

Vegeta: Alright, Freeza's just over this next formation.

Vegeta: Now before we move in, we need a plan.

Vegeta: So here it is:

Vegeta: All of you will attack from the front, and while you're being slaughtered,

Vegeta: I'll flank him, taking him from behind and securing the kill!

Vegeta: Ready? Break!

Piccolo: No.

Tien: Yeah, no.

Yamcha: Personally, I don't think Bulma should be here; a battlefield is no place for a lady.

Vegeta: And yet, you're sticking around.

Yamcha: I'm serious! I worry about her safety!

Yamcha: And as my close, personal friend, possibly even bestie,

Yamcha: I think we need to consider--

Yamcha: AAagh!

Bulma: Anyone want to explain to Yamcha here what ten pounds of torque does to a human ear?

Gohan: Rips it off?

Bulma: Very good, Gohan!

Krillin: Ahh...

King Cold: So is this him, sweetie? Is this the man who hurt you so?

Freeza: No, Daddy.

Freeza: This is a new one...

Trunks: So... you must be Friza.

Freeza: Actually, it's Lord Freeza.

Trunks: Really? Then why is there an "i" in it?

Freeza: There *isn't*.

Trunks: Huh. Gonna have to fix that one when I get back, then.

Trunks: Anyway, I'm here to kill you.

Freeza: Ohohohohohoho, my my! Not five minutes on this wayward rock and we already have a volunteer-teer-teer--

Freeza: dead man.

Freeza: Soldiers! Do your jobs!

Straw: Lord Freeza, with all due respect--

Freeza: This sounds like insubordination.

Straw: He just turned an entire squad into a pile of limbs!

Freeza: And that sounds like it's not my problem!

Chayote: Man, moving your bitchin' bitch-ass over, bitch.

Chayote: What, power level of five?

Chayote: Shit, ain't nobody got time for dat!

Chayote: ...Well, that ain't right...

Trunks: Consider that a warning! Either leave now, or die!

Freeza: Ooh, is that an ultimatum?! I love ultimatums!

Freeza: Here's mine:

Freeza: Either die to him or die to me!

Freeza: What... what just happened?

Trunks: Give it a second.

Freeza: No, really, they're just--

Trunks: No, no, hold on!

Trunks: Yeah, took me a whole three months to get that one down. They make it look a lot easier than it really is.

Trunks: Real hard part was that guy's armor!

Trunks: I ended up going through a dozen mannequins before I cinched that one.

Freeza: You missed a spot.

Minion: Augghhhh...!

Minion: Lord Freeza...

Minion: ...the f*ck?

King Cold: You know that was our last minion, right?

Freeza: Who cares? We have more at home.

King Cold: No, I mean now we have no one to fly the ship!

Freeza: I can fly it!

King Cold: Son, we do not fly ourselves; flying is for the help!

Trunks: So, uh... curious; what's with all the spare parts sticking out of you?

Freeza: Impudent little...!

Freeza: These are not "spare parts"!

Freeza: What you are looking at is the ultimate culmination of science and nature!

Trunks: Oh, wow! I've... never seen that before...

Freeza: You know, the only reason you continue to breathe is because I need something to entertain me until the Super Saiyan arrives.

Trunks: Oh, really?

Trunks: Because if it's a Super Saiyan you're looking for... I can fill the part.

Freeza: What?!

Freeza: (Laughing)

Freeza: Oh, you hear that, Daddy?!

Freeza: "I can fill the part!"

Freeza: It's like a five year old trying to play police officer.

King Cold: Or like how you play Pretty Pink Princess?

Freeza: Daddy, not in front of the malcontent!

King Cold: But it's so *cute* when you do it!

Freeza: I haven't done that since I was eight-eight-ei-eight--

Freeza: my Quinceañera.

Trunks: HAAAAAAA!

Freeza: What?!

Trunks: AAAAAAAA!

King Cold: Zounds!

Trunks: AAAAAAAA!!!

Piccolo: (Gasp)

Vegeta: (Gasp)

Gohan: That's... that's my Dad!

Krillin: You sure, Gohan?

Gohan: Either that or we just felt Freeza's mom.

Krillin: Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs?

Krillin: ...Really?

Krillin: I'm the only one?

Vegeta: Yes!

Vegeta: 'He must never know...'

Freeza: Those... those eyes...!

Freeza: They're the same as...!

Flashback Goku: 'Pizza...!'

Freeza: No...! No! NO! NO! *NO*! KILL! MURDER! DESTROY! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Freeza: Uh-hu, u-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...!

King Cold: Alright, get down here; I'm going to call Space Triple A and have them tow us, thank you very much!

King Cold: What?!

Freeza: *What*?!

King Cold: Freeza, what did you do?!

Freeza: DADDY, NOT NOW!

Freeza: Grrrrh...!

Trunks: Well, Freeza, looks like you *dropped the ball*.

Trunks: *Dropped the ball*.

Trunks: ...Drrrrropped the ba--

Freeza: AAAGH!

King Cold: You almost destroyed the whole planet there.

Freeza: Sorry - I got a little bit carried away. Doesn't matter now, though;

Freeza: our little Super Saiyan is dead-dead-dead--

Freeza: cadaverific.

Trunks: Hey, Freeza!

Freeza: *WHAT*?!

Trunks: You should split!

Freeza: If you're trying to be clever, you're sorely lacking--

Trunks: Hiiiyaaaaaaaaahhhh-!

Freeza: Huh?!

Freeza: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh-!

Trunks: -Aaaaaaaaaahhhh-!

Freeza: -Aaaaaaaaaahhhh-!

Trunks: -Aaaaaaahhhh-!

Freeza: -Aaaaaaahhhh-!

Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!

Freeza: -Aaaahhhh-!

Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!

Freeza: -Aaaahhhh-!

Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!

Freeza: -Aaaahhhh!

Trunks: -HI-YAH!

Freeza: (Computer-like yelling)

King Cold: *My baby boy*...!

Krillin: We're finally here!

Krillin: Where's Freeza-- Oh!

Krillin: There he is!

Krillin: And there...

Krillin: And there--

Krillin: And here...

Krillin: Is that his brain...?

Gohan: Guys... I think that person is a Super Saiyan!

Vegeta: Like hell he is!

Krillin: Spiky gold hair? Incredible power?

Vegeta: You don't know that he's a Super Saiyan! Maybe he's Super *Human*, huh?!

Vegeta: Maybe you slackers just haven't been trying hard enough!

Tien: Says the *non*-Super Saiyan.

Vegeta: F*ck off!

King Cold: You murdered my Princess!

King Cold: Oh well - you win some, you lose some.

Trunks: ...Children?

King Cold: Yeah.

Trunks: Okay... sorta thought you'd be a little more pissed.

King Cold: Oh, blindingly so. Mind if I see your sword?

Trunks: What? Why?

King Cold: I just wish to hold it.

Trunks: No!

King Cold: Oh, come on, be neighborly!

Trunks: I'm not your neighbor.

Trunks: I also think I hate you.

King Cold: Look, after what you did, I can fit what's left of my son into a meat pie!

King Cold: Let me see your stupid sword!

Trunks: (Sigh) Fine...

King Cold: See? Nothing nefarious; I just wanted to inspect the craftsmanship...

King Cold: Admire the temper...

King Cold: Test its edge on YOU, YOU INSUBORDINATE HICK!

King Cold: Ah... Still not sure if you hate me...?

Trunks: Actually, that pretty much sealed it.

King Cold: AAAGHaaaagh...!

King Cold: (Gasp) No...! N-no, wait, please I...! W-We can make a deal!

King Cold: If you spare my life I'll... give you a planet...?

King Cold: *Three* planets!

King Cold: Two and a half?

Trunks: You just went down.

King Cold: I'm a haggler...?

King Cold: WEEEGHH...!

Krillin: ...Good work, team!

Trunks: Hey there, guys!

Vegeta: F*ck this guy!

Trunks: I'm about to go meet Goku; just follow me!

Gohan: Wait... did he just say my Dad?!

Krillin: Wait, Gohan...

Krillin: We don't know if we can trust this guy...

Trunks: I also brought snacks!

Krillin: But, the Bible does say, "love thy neighbor".

Gohan: You're a Buddhist.

Krillin: A *hungry* Buddhist!

GPS: Fly three hundred meters northwest, then land near "Idiot Rock".

Trunks: So that's what they called it before "Idiot Crater".

Trunks: Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I brought you here.

Krillin: Snacks!

Yamcha: To kill us!

Vegeta: To kill snacks!

Trunks: Goku is going to land near here in approximately three hours.

Trunks: Until then... Let's all have a drink.

Trunks: I've got soda, beer, and Hetap.

Tien: Isn't it a little early to start drinking?

Bulma: Hey, five o'clock was twenty hours ago!

Krillin: So, stranger, what's your name?

Trunks: Can't say.

Krillin: Well, Mr. Can't Say, I'm Krillin!

Trunks: That's not funny.

Krillin: What isn't?

Gohan: So... you know my Dad, right?

Trunks: Well, sort of. Really, I've just heard a lot about him.

Trunks: It's kind of--

Bulma: So, hey like, just gonna throw this out there...

Bulma: You're really cute.

Trunks: Uh... well, you know, my Mom always said I was a cute kid.

Bulma: Oh, a mamma's boy, huh?

Bulma: I'll be your mommy...

Trunks: 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--'

Krillin: Can I have another Hetap?

Trunks: YE-HES, YES YOU CAN.

Bulma: By the way, that jacket is awfully familiar...

Trunks: Uhm...

Bulma: Yeah - I even made it myself!

Bulma: Capsule Corp logo, even cut it short to show off my midriff.

Vegeta: 'If he's never met him before, how the hell does this kid know where Kakarot is going to land?'

Trunks: I love everything about Capsule Corp!

Vegeta: 'And he can't actually be a damn Saiyan...'

Vegeta: 'Either he's a liar, or...'

Trunks: Yep, love storing things...

Vegeta: '...maybe...'

Vegeta: '...Wait a second...!'

Vegeta: Did someone drink the last Hetap?! I'll kill you!

Krillin: Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!

Chiaotzu: Tieeenn~... I'm booooored...

Tien: Chiaotzu, we only have to wait a little while longer.

Tien: We'll say hello to Goku, and then we'll go home.

Chiaotzu: Can we get McDonalds?

Tien: Only if you're good.

Chiaotzu: Awww...

Vegeta: What? What are you lookin' at?!

Vegeta: What, do you like what you see?!

Vegeta: Yeah, that's right, eyes to yourself.

Vegeta: I don't swing that way; I'm a real man!

Gohan: Hey, Mr Piccolo?

Piccolo: Yeah?

Gohan: I was wondering - why didn't you go with the rest of the Namekians to your home planet?

Piccolo: Oh, I don't know; why don't you just go to Vegeta with the rest of the Saiyans?!

Vegeta: Hey, I've already got one hitting on me over here, I don't need another!

Trunks: 'Oh, thank God.'

Trunks: Alright, everybody - Goku should be landing any moment now.

Gohan: (Inhales)

Vegeta: Well I don't see him, so you're wrong.

Vegeta: I think you've been lying to us the whole time!

Vegeta: There's no way you could--

Vegeta: There's no way you could--

Vegeta: ...that could be anyone.

Goku: GUYS, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! FREEZER'S HERE AND--

Goku: Yaaaay... Heheheh... Wha...?

Bulma: So... do you think the carpet matches the drapes?

Krillin: I dunno. Do yours?

Bulma: KRILLIN!

Krillin: What? It was a leGINAmate question--!

Krillin: I mean a legitimate ques-- whatever.

Bulma: It's just very personal! I mean, do *yours*?!

Krillin: Yeah.

Bulma: What?!

Krillin: It's called manscaping.

Bulma: It's weird.

Krillin: It's *hygenic*!