Mr. Piccolo! Wake up! You have to stop him!

(Incoherent mumbling)

Don’t worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down!

I’m sure he’ll be here any second!

(Chomping)

[mouth full] Mmmph... thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!

(Chomping)

Well, it’s the least I could do for trying to eat you like that.

...

But I thought there was... something else you had to do?

Mmm, bacon. (Chomping)

Something about Saiyans...?

And the Earth?

Crap crap CRAP CRAP!

Mr. Piccolo, get up!

Please get up!

Seriously, he’s gonna kill us!

Well, the green guy’s out. Too bad.

Guess I’ll have to find someone ELSE to play with!

'Please not me please not me please not me please not me PLEASE NOT ME!'

Eenie meenie minie you!

Wh-what--?

Augh!

Uuh-huuh!

WHOO! Not me!

...Gohan?

Oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!

Midget’s next! RHAAAA!

Wait! My-turn-my-turn-MY-TURN!

Oh!

Wha-- ...Nappa, what are you doing?

It’s his turn, Vegeta; I have to wait for him.

Uh, owwwwwhhhhh, uh, ohhh…

You okay, Vegeta?

Yes, just... just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...

Wow!

Didn’t think you were that stupid, Vegeta.

WAAAAUUUUUGH!!

Nine minutes, eighteen seconds. Nine minutes, eighteen seconds…

What’s that, Vegeta?

Happiest... moment... of... my life...!

Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT!

I’ve got a new technique!

Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends’ lives... but that’s besides the point!

Get ready for my... DESTRUCTO DISK!

[groaning] Laaaaaaame…

Now… take THIS!

Oooooooh! A frisbee, Vegeta!

Nappa! No! It’s a trick!

But Vegeta…

Trix are for kiiids~

…You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it.

Catch it with your teeth.

Yaaay! Like a doggie!

Ow ow OWHOWH!

Riiicolaa-- ohhh GODDAMMIT!!

AAH, NO, MY FACE! My precious modeling career!

You know, I was trying to be a team player.

Trying to be a nice guy!

You killed half our friends!

I said, *trying*!

Well you’re failing--oh God!

And so are you!

I’m back!

AAAAAAAHHH!

I-see-what-you-did-there!

Now - it’s you and me, big guy!

And I’m gonna kick your a--!

YAH!

AHH--!

Whoa!

Take that, you insufferable f***ing simpleton!

WHOA, Gohan! What the hell?!

Oh!

Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I didn’t mean to snap like that!

No; stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED!

Ahhhhh... Goddammit(!)

Hrrrrrgh you-a-make-a-me-so-mad!

(Growling)

(Whimpering)

Vegeta, look. I’ma firing my BLARRRGH!

(More whimpering)

'Alright...'

'It’s time to redeem myself, through one final act of redemption.'

'I’ll save Gohan, and--'

'Wait a second... Why didn’t I just grab him?'

'I can probably still do that now, actually!'

'Yeah, that's it. I’ll grab him, and throw him out of the way--!'

GAAAAAAAAAA!!

WAAHAA!

Yeah...

That's right...

I can take anything you can dish o--

'Oh God, there go my organs...'

Mr. Piccolo!

Ghh...

Gohan... come closer...

There’s... something... I have to tell you...

Is-is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own, considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring--?

Nnnerrrrrrrrrrd…

Wh... what?

Just... shut up and... listen...

What is it, Mr. Piccolo?

Why... didn't... you... DOOOOOOOOODGE?!?!

Bleh

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Eehh-oghh!

Well, Mr. Popo... it seems my time has come.

But don’t worry, my friend... you will go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls.

It will be a long and arduous journey... but I’m sure you can--

Bitch, I ain't goin' nowhere.

But Mr. Popo! The fate of the entire universe is--

Pecking order!

But, I...

Well then... [fading out] goodbye, my friend!

Byyyyyee~!

Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?

Yes, Nappa; that was a very good kick.

D'aww, Vegeta! You weren’t watching!

Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?

Ughh, fine...

NNNAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!

*I’m gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull*!

...What?

I'M GONNA SKULLF*** YOU!!

MASENKO...HAAAAA!

YAARGH!

Aaagh, bitch, please!

I'm... (Pant) sorry... Mr. Piccolo...

I... (Pant) I failed you.

You sure did!

I, uh, I mean... sorry for your loss.

Well, it’s been fun, kid. I mean, for me; not for you.

As for you, everyone important to you is dead.

Hey, I'm still alive--!

Everyone important.

...Dammit.

Now... NAPPA SMASH!

Uhhh...!

Gahh...!

ARRRGH!

Oo wa wa?

Hey, where'd he go!?

Did he disappear?

Or was he never there to begin with?

Oh, wait, there he is.

(Gasp) Huh?

I, oh...

Are they all...

Tenshinhan...

Piccolo?

Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha.

Wait, where’s Chiaotzu?

Oh, he’s here... and there... a--

Krillin!

What?

Too soon!

I'm sorry I'm late, you guys.

But I brought some Senzu beans for ya!

Woohoo! Legume ex machina!

Hey! Which one of you did all this?

That was me! Totally calling it! I killed every single one of them!

'Cept the Chiaotzu; he blew *himself* up!

(Grunting)

HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Ughh!

Vegeta! What does the Scouter say about his power level?

It's...!

One thousand and six.

Wha-- really?

Yeah! Kick his ass, Nappa!

YAAAYYY!

HaaaAAAA--D'OUH! OWF! AH! ARGH! OW!

D'ah! D'oh! D'ah! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!

Ah, that doesn’t bend that way.

Hmmm...

My arm doesn’t bend that way!

that doesn’t seem right.

AH, NOW IT DOES!!

Wait, wait wait wait!

Nappa!

Augh-ha! Whaaaaaat??

I had the Scouter upside-down.

It’s over nine thousand.

Rah.

Why do you sound so bored??

Because it’s still not a threat...

But--

...to me!

Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls we’ll just wish for immortality!

Then no one will be able to stop us!

Wait, what? But, you killed Piccolo.

And your point is...?

Well, if he’s dead, the Dragon Balls don’t work.

Wh-- ...What?!

Ohhh, and I totally killed that guy.

Oh well; at least we still had fun getting here; right, Vegeta?

Hurrgh... *urrrgh*... *hurrrgh*...!

Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege--?

AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!