“Episode 42”

Android 18: This is. The best. You've got?

Store Clerk: That is our top o' the line! How do ya like it?

Android 18: "Like" is a strong word. So is "tolerate".

Android 18: "Hate" 's actually looking a little weak right now.

Store Clerk: Oh, but darlin', you look like the most beautiful rose in a rose garden!

Store Clerk: I'm sure if I came home with you, my Daddy might even love me again!

Android 18: And that is my cue to leave! Later, cowboy.

Store Clerk: Uh, sweetheart, you gotta pay for those!

Store Clerk: Uh, c-c-cash or credit!

Store Clerk: The register's on the inside!

Store Clerk: You are getting into your car!

Store Clerk: You are driving away, aaand I have been robbed.

Store Clerk: YOU BLONDE BIMBO! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!

Store Clerk: Oh, no, nonononononono!

♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

Trunks: Alright, we should be getting close to the site!

Gohan: Um, Mr. Trunks?

Trunks: What's up?

Gohan: If you don't mind me asking: You know me in the future, right?

Trunks: Yeah, actually, you were my mentor.

Gohan: Oh, wow! What is adult me like?

Trunks: Well, I suppose you take a lot after your father.

Gohan: ...In what regard?

Trunks: You're the strongest, bravest warrior on the planet.

Gohan: Okay, good.

Gohan: By the way, why do you keep staring at my arm?

Trunks: Oh, uh... hey, what's that?

Gohan: Oh!

Trunks: Well, this definitely *looks* like my Time Machine.

Trunks: But, it also looks like it's been here for ages.

Gohan: Ooh, a mystery!

Gohan: I never get to solve mysteries! Like Sherlock Holmes or *Batman*!

Gohan: Usually we're just busy fighting people. Like Bruce Lee!

Gohan: Or Batman!

Bulma: Heeey!

Gohan: Oh look, your Mom's here!

Trunks: Oh, good...

Bulma: Hey there, Gohan!

Bulma: And... son.

Trunks: ...Mother.

Bulma: So, *is* that your Time Machine?

Trunks: Well, it looks like mine, but it can't be mine!

Trunks: This one here's the one I used to travel back in time with.

Trunks: If you'll notice, it has the word "Hope" written on the side.

Trunks: So unless this one has it written on it in the same place, we--

Trunks: ...Oh.

Trunks: Crapbaskets.

Gohan: Oh, you say that too.

Bulma: Wait... why "Hope"?

Trunks: Because you called me our last hope.

Bulma: Holy crap, that's so cheesy! What, do I have, like, a ton of cats, too?

Gohan: Hey, anyone else notice the hole on the top?

Bulma: Huh, weird. Do you think whoever was piloting it was attacked?

Gohan: Actually, I don't think so.

Gohan: Considering the curvature of the melted glass... combined with the lack of any glass or damage in the cockpit... we're safe to assume... whatever shot the canopy... came... from the *inside*!

Trunks: And what does that tell us?

Gohan: Um... that the blast came from the inside...

Trunks: Here...

Trunks: Huh.

Trunks: So, any idea what *these* are?

Gohan: Oh, I think I kicked an alien that looked like that, once.

Bulma: Hey, lemme get a look at it! I wanna help too!

Bulma: As the daughter of the world's leading-class scientist, with doctorates in both bio-engineering and evolutionary biology, I can only deduce...

Bulma: ...that this is a mutant coconut.

Bulma: Either that or an egg.

Gohan: An egg? (Gasp) I know!

Gohan: Trunks! Whatever made that hole, hatched from this egg!

Gohan: You keep examining the Time Machine! I'm gonna go search for clues!

Trunks: Well at least one of us is having fun with this.

Trunks: Two of us.

Krillin: And then they flew off! God only knows where they are now!

Krillin: Thanks for letting us keep Goku here, by the way.

Roshi: Yeah, that's nice. So there's a HOT one now?

Krillin: Oh yeah, like you wouldn't believe!

Krillin: Her eyes are this beautiful, piercing, blue; her confidence is *stunning*; and she does this adorable little thing with her hair where she brushes it out of the way--

Roshi: Fantastic! How's the rack?!

Turtle: Uh, Master Roshi, Goku's sweating purple. Is that normal?

Roshi: Did he eat grapes?

Turtle: I... don't... know?

Roshi: That boy can't handle his grapes.

Roshi: Speaking of fruit, what're we talking here? Apples? Oranges? MELONS?!

Krillin: Is that really important?

Roshi: YES!

Gohan: (Humming)

Gohan: Oh, hello! And what are you?

Gohan: Hey, Trunks! I think I found a clue!

Gohan: Either that or a record-setting cicada.

Gohan: I'm okay with both, actually.

Trunks: Uu-aagh!

Bulma: Aaah!

Bulma: Oh my God, is that thing alive?!

Gohan: No, pretty sure that this is just a molt.

Bulma: Something crawled out of that?!

Gohan: Hey, if you guys don't want it, mind if I take it home with me?

Trunks: 'Whatever was in here, might just be the creature that came out of that she--'

Trunks: Oh... ohhh no...

Trunks: Oh, really wish I hadn't!

Trunks: Oh, it's all over my hand!

Gohan: Considering how fresh this molt is, it's likely that whatever shed its skin did so very recently.

Trunks: Oh God, it's sticky!

Trunks: And now it's starting to harden! Oh no!

Gohan: Meaning that it might very well still be here!

Bulma: Trunks-it-was-good-to-see-you-again and-Gohan-say-hello-to-your-mother-I'll-call-you-later-okay byyyyyyyyye~!!

Trunks: Long shot, but you wouldn't happen to carry hand sanitizer on you, would you?

Gohan: Do--... do you not?

Bulma: Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!

Phone: ♫ (Give it to me baby) Uh-huh, uh-huh! ♫

Bulma: ...Eww!

Phone: ♫ (Give it--) ♫

Bulma: What?

Krillin: So, you guys are by Ginger Town, right?

Bulma: We were... why?

Krillin: 'Cause there is some major shit going on down there!

Bulma: Shit of what variety, exactly?

Krillin: The not-good kind.

Flash: This is Flash Stormwood reporting live for CQTV here on location in Ginger Town!

Hal: Well thank you, Flash. What's the situation down there?

Flash: Mass unadulterated panic, Hal!

Flash: Just moments ago, screams erupted throughout the streets, only to be followed by deafening silence!

Flash: Now there seems to be nothing left but a ghost town, littered with the clothes of its former inhabitants!

Flash: We have yet to find out the reason why.

Hal: Well, do you have any speculations, Flash?

Flash: Well Hal, I cannot say for certain; however, recreational marijuana use was recently legalized in the region!

Flash: So I believe we can all come to the same conclusion!

Flash: Just a moment; someone is approaching!

Flash: Excuse me you terrifying looking gentleman, what are your opinions on the legalization of--

Flash: OH MY GOD, NO!

Krillin: Wow, someone should probably go check that out.

Roshi: Yeah, my stash is running a little low!

Roshi: (Laughing, coughing)

Gohan: Hey guys, we're back!

Gohan: (Sniffs) What's that smell? Is there a skunk in here?

Krillin: Oh, hey Gohan. You like mysteries?

Gohan: Do I?!

Piccolo: Hmm? Okay, so you felt *that* one, right?

Kami: I did...

Piccolo: And you're *still* just going to put this off?

Kami: I might...

Piccolo: Alright, I've had enough of this. I have literally been sitting here, meditating--

Nail: 'Dozing.'

Piccolo: --*meditating*, for the last... uhh...

Mr. Popo: THREE! HOURS!

Piccolo: Thank you, Mr. Popo.

Piccolo: Three hours!

Piccolo: So either shit, or get in my body.

Nail: 'Uhh, I...'

Piccolo: No!

Kami: Listen, I still need to feel the situation out.

Piccolo: What the *hell* is there left to feel out? Between your cryptic warnings and jerking me around,

Piccolo: I'm pretty sure an entire city is either missing, or DEAD!

Piccolo: You're the Guardian! Start acting like it!

Kami: Yes! I am the Guardian! The Guardian of *this* planet!

Kami: And you wish to *take* that title from me!

Piccolo: Are you kidding me? This can't be about the job.

Piccolo: The first chance you had to drop this gig, you tried to hand it off to *Goku*!

Piccolo: *GOKU*!

Piccolo: He doesn't even look after his own kid! *I* look after his kid more than he does!

Kami: But it's still my job! My responsibility!

Piccolo: And that's really good and all, but if you don't fuse with me, the entire world you're "guarding", might be DESTROYED!

Kami: Maybe I'd RATHER it be destroyed than ever have to be a part of YOU again!

Nail: '...Mom, Dad, please stop fighting.'

Piccolo: So *that's* what this is all about, huh?

Kami: No, no, that's not what I--

Piccolo: No, no, it's fine. I was kind of a dick. I get that.

Kami: Listen, Piccolo.

Kami: I've been the Guardian for over 300 years.

Kami: I've seen wars, sickness, death and worse.

Kami: All the while trapped on this Lookout.

Kami: Unable to interact with the outside world for more than... moments at a time.

Kami: Now the only chance I have left is giving up my free will to someone else.

Kami: It's just another prison.

Piccolo: Wow, I... I didn--

Kami: It's fine. I'm done, anyway.

Kami: You're right. If I don't do this now, we are likely to lose everything.

Kami: But know this, Piccolo: Once I fuse with you, the Dragon Balls will be no more.

Piccolo: Ah, that's not a problem. We've got a whole planet of our people just waiting to make us more.

Kami: What do you mean, "our people"?

Piccolo: Stop being a smartass and let's just do this already.

Kami: Well then, Mr. Popo... I suppose this is goodbye.

Kami: It's been... a trip.

Mr. Popo: (Giggling) YES! (Giggling)

Kami: Well... I'm sure you're already familiar with the technique.

Piccolo: Right.

Kami: Alright now... lower.

Piccolo: Yeah, not falling for that.

Kami: Hmph. I didn't think so.

Piccolo: (Yelling)

Kami: (Yelling)

Mr. Popo: Oh my God, I'm coming dooooown!!

Mr. Popo: Whoo, that was crazy!

Mr. Popo: So did you actually eat Kami or was that the acid?

Piccolo: 'So THIS is who we were, huh?'

Piccolo: 'Hello...?'

Piccolo: 'Got *real* quiet...!'

Piccolo: 'Holy crap, are they finally--'

Nail: (Snickering)

Piccolo: Ohhh, of course not...

Nail: 'Hu-heh, isn't this the part where you chant to yourself?'

Piccolo: Shut up!

Kami: 'Come now, we should do whatever feels right.'

Piccolo: Oh, please, no!

Kami: 'You Can Win! You Feel Great! You! Can! Do! This!'

Nail: 'You Can Win! You Feel Great! You! Can! Do! This!'

Piccolo: Hmm...

Korin: Hey Piccolo, could you pick up Yajirobe? He doesn't have a ca--rrrrrr, crap!

Korin: Well I know SOMEONE who's not getting invited to Sunday brunch!

Korin: D'oh, who am I kidding? We like him.

Mr. Popo: Well... only one thing to do.

Mr. Popo: ♪TURN DOWN FOR WHAT♪

Brush: Now now now now, now the Libs are surely gonna shout "racism" over this one, but...

Brush: this is just what happens when you elect a DOG as King!

Gohan: So you think this is whatever came from that egg, Trunks?

Trunks: Definitely. This isn't the work of the Androids, that's for sure.

Krillin: Not unless they're starting the world's first mandatory nudist colony.

Trunks: I'm going to go down there and check it out myself.

Trunks: I'll admit... after everything that's happened,

Trunks: I'm a little bit worried I'm responsible for these events.

Yamcha: Wait! Are you sure you should go alone?

Trunks: The only other person strong enough to help us right now would be my father.

Trunks: And even if I knew where he was, which I *don't*, I'm not sure he *would* help us.

Vegeta: No! You see, I didn't f**k up! I just underestimated her! I went in a little too overconfident.

Vegeta: But of COURSE I was a little overconfident! I mean, have you ever met me?! I'm ME! I'm a big deal!

Vegeta: And you know who's REALLY at fault here?!

Vegeta: *The boy*.

Vegeta: "Oh, the future is SO bad!"

Vegeta: Well maybe it wouldn't be, if YOU weren't such a PANSY ASS!

Vegeta: Now once I get back in the game, and DESTROY THOSE METAL BRATS...

Vegeta: there'll be nothing left to get in my way.

Nail: (Snickers) 'Well, this is classic. The moment God disappears, suddenly the Rapture happens!'

Kami: 'Yes, the irony is not lost on me...'

Piccolo: 'Could you guys stop talking for, a *minute*?'

Nail: 'Oh yeah, don't wanna distract you. Might get hit by one of these *abandoned* cars!'

Kami: 'I've always wanted to drive a car. But by the time they were invented, eyes weren't so good for it anymore.'

Kami: 'Piccolo, you've driven a car, right? How was it?'

Piccolo: 'Wait, seriously, shut up. What is that?'

Imperfect Cell: ♪ Mr. Sandman... ♪

Imperfect Cell: ♪ Bring me a dream... ♪

Imperfect Cell: ♪ Make him the cutest, that I've ever seen... ♪

Imperfect Cell: ♪ Give him two lips, like roses and clover... ♪

Imperfect Cell: ♪ Then tell him that his lonesome nights... are... over. ♪

Imperfect Cell: Hello... *friend*.

Imperfect Cell: (Reptilian growl)