No! Please! Leave us alone! We were just renting this house! We never meant to--

AAAAGH!!

'Yes!'

'Though this rain may wash *these* fools away, the blood that soon shall flow, no storm shall meet the task!'

'I will cover this world in a darkness so thick and chilly, the only rival shall be the hell in which I have spent all those years.'

'Brace your brittle selves, you worms!'

'For I, Garlic Jr., shall soon rule you all!'

In the Great Lakes near Mount Paozu, there was a breed of Paozu tuna clinging at life in its salt water habitat.

Fished near to extinction by the inhabitants, they are slowly making headway back to a sustainable population.

Oh sweet, salty Christ, no.

H-hey, Gohan! Goin' fishin'?

Yup! With Dad gone, I'm the breadwinner now!

What's with the weird clothes, Krillin?

Uh, uh, uh! My name is no longer Krillin!

My new name... is Juan Sanchez!

I'm compelled to ask, "why?"

Well, before we left for Namek, I took out a HUGE life insurance policy on myself, and left it all to my twin brother!

But you don't have a twi-- wait, your last name's "Sanchez"?

And it paid off in triple because I died off-planet!

They said, "Don't worry, there's no way you're gonna die out in space."

SHOWED THEM!

Well, I'm still going to call you Krillin.

So, whaddya think of my new ride?

Eh, it's a nice car, I guess...

Not what I was referring to...

Juaaaaan~! I broke a nail! Can I have a thousand dollars?

You can have TWO!

Gohan, I am an excellent boyfriend!

Krillin, how did you meet this woman?

We met at the bank.

I was there picking up my life insurance money, and she was there depositing her money from her night job!

I think she's a waitress or something because she was depositing a lot of fives and ones.

And me and my dear SWEETY LITTLE Chestnut fell deeply, TRULY in love.

She says I have a "very rich personality"!

And a WEALTH of knowledge!

And her boobs are as big as my HEAD!

I have made the comparison...

So! You going to the party tonight?

Well, I don't know. Mom wasn't a huge fan of that Walking Dead theme party.

Previously on TFS' The Walking Zed...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But I think I can make it!

See ya later, Gohan!

Goodbye, Gonad! See you at Master Hoshi's!

Eh, say what you want. They're a good couple.

'You ever think about buying a house?'

'Oho yeah! Let me get right on that with all that money I don't have.'

'Well, you ever thought about getting a job?'

'I'm a green slug-man. No amount of affirmative action is going to get me a job.'

'If you say so...'

'By the way, that old guy's been standing there for, like, fifteen minutes; maybe you should say something.'

'Ugh, fine.'

What do you want, Kami?

Mr. Popo's kicked me off the Lookout for the night. Apparently, he has a... "booty call"...

Jynx! Jynx! JYNX!

Shut up, bitch, you love it!

Last time he did this, I found five corpses.

He laughed when I said "five".

Well, what do you want from me?

I was hoping I could stay at your house.

I DON'T HAVE A HOUSE!

'See? What I'd tell you?'

Shut up, Nail.

Is someone in there?

'Hellooo Kami!'

He can't hear you.

Actually, I can!

Hello there! Who are you?

I'm Nail! I'm a Namekian Piccolo fused with on Namek.

You do know that technique is forbidden, Piccolo?

Your *face* is forbidden!

'...Sadly that WAS the best one up here.'

SHUT IT, NAIL!

Soo~, nice of you to bring your new girlfriend here, "Juan".

Yeah, not gonna lie; at first we kind of thought you brought home a hooker.

*Yamcha*!

Well, we did!

I can assure you that my darling, beautiful Maron is no hooker.

Well, that depends.

Sometimes I take extra cash in the back room, but those were always under the table so I don't think they count...?

How much extra?

How much ya got?

Well I AM a professional Baseball player--

AH!

Okay.

First off: No one screws Yamcha but life. Second of all: Blue hair? Real original. Third: "Juan", don't you have any *other* friends you can take Maron to meet?

Well, we saw Gohan earlier, but he was busy pounding the tuna.

What!? With Goku gone, Chi-Chi needs someone to do it!

Eh heeh heeah heeeah heh heeeeah...!

We also stopped by Korin and Yajirobe's, buuuuut...

This brunch *is delicious*, Yajirobe!

Thank you! I cooked everything myself!

So, if you two had babies, would they be little fat men? Or kitties?

AND WE ARE LEAVING!

Probably fat kitties.

I don't think I'll be taking her back there again.

Happy Birthday!

Thank you!

Thank you all so much for remembering my 1,000th birthday!

And for this marvelous cake!

Isn't that thing kind of a fire hazard?

Well of course, Turtle! You're our very best friend!

My birthday was last week and I didn't get a party.

You've been there for us from the very beginning!

Anyone remember when I saved the world from Pilaf?

Like a member of the family, I say!

Seriously, I live upstairs.

Oh my gosh! Someone got whoever's birthday it is, a turtle!

Can I have a turtle?

Sure!

Oh! Can it be THIS turtle?

Of course!

Wait, what?

Turtle, be my wingman on this one! If I get some, I swear to God I will send you pictures!

Deal!

Seriously, maybe we wanna blow this out before something catches on--

AH! MY BEARD! MY GLORIOUS BEARD! NOOOO~!

Hey, Krillin!

Whaddya doin' out here?

Why aren't you upstairs sleepin' with your girlfriend like everyone else?

Oh, hey, Turtle. I'm just up thinking to myself.

What'cha thinkin' about?

It's just... I'm not sure if Maron loves me for who I really am.

It's all presents, and travelling, and caviar, an--

Beluga?

No; Paozu tuna.

Wow, that's rare!

And it's just... I just don't know if she loves Juan, or Juan's money.

How much money DO you have?

Ehh, about 5.7 million.

Didn't you get me a gift card from the Gap?

Not what we're talking about!

Okay, look - if she really does love you for who you are, then you have to tell her the truth.

Open up to her; it's the only way.

Are you sure that'll work?

Well, if it doesn't, you could always get her a giant pearl.

What? Bitch is a gold-digger.

Okay, first we're going to go by Lush because all their soaps look like cakes and I wanna eat them!

Oh, and I hope you remembered to make those reservations for L' Anus Serré at 7:30!

I hear they're VERY uptight.

'Man, can I really go through with this?'

'She seems sooo happyyy...'

'No! No, Krillin! Stop focusing on that perfect, heart-shaped, pillow of an ass!'

'Tonight, you will tell her!'

'And then you will tap that!'

'Pleaaaaaaaaaase tap that...'

Oh my God, I just love nice walks on the beaches!

Oh! D'you think if I swim out far enough I'd reach Australia?

(Gasp)

Oh my gooood~! Can we go on a Sandals vacation?

Listen, Maron...

I need to talk to you.

Oh don't worry, Juan-ton!

I made the reservations for you, so you don't have to worry about it!

Actually, I... need to come clean...

See, my name isn't actually "Juan Sanchez"; it's... Krillin.

That is a silly name!

(Gasp!)

I'll call you Krilly-Billy!

That's... not... everything.

You see... all this money I own is actually from my own life insurance policy.

For when I died... on another planet... blown up by an evil space emperor, but was then brought back to life by a magical dragon.

Uhhhh huh...

But what I really want to ask, Maron, is:

Do you love me for me? Or do you just love me for my money?

Ohh, Krilly-Billy! Of course I don't just love you for your money!

Y...you really mean that?

I never loved you at all!

Awwwwwwwww...

Well can we at least still try the "sex stuff"?

Noo, Krillin! You don't understand!

I was never really your girlfriend.

See, I'm with the States' Fraud Bureau, and you just confessed to *a lot* of insurance fraud. Which I recorded.

Wait, you have a recorder on you? Where!?

In my boobs!

Curses! The one place I couldn't reach!

...I'm going to prison, aren't I?

Well, normally you would, but do you have any idea what they do to guys like you?

No; you'll just have to pay back everything you owe.

Wait, what about all the money I spent on you?

You'll just have to pay that out of pocket!

BUT I DROPPED OVER FIVE-HUNDRED GRAND ON YOU!

Honey, I work for the Government! I never claimed to be a good person...

And that's why I need a place to stay.

I'll go blow up the air mattress...

I do have to admit though, it's nice being a free man again.

No women nipping at my heels... know what I mean?

ALRIGHT!

I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO HAS BEEN SPREADING RUMORS THAT I HAVE BEEN FORCING GOHAN TO - and I quote - "POUND MY TUNA"!

Look, Chi-Chi, if it really upsets you, we'll *all* take turns pounding your tuna, okay?

BUT... only if we get to eat it together.

...Heh, heh heh, hah ha! AAAAAAAH HA! AAAH--!

(Humming)

(Laughing) The view hasn't changed a bit!

Clean that up.

I beg your pardon? Have you any inkling in that simple little head of yours who you're speaking to?

Oh please, do go on!

I am the usurper of this once proud throne your worthless guardian holds so dear.

I am Garlic Jr., returned from the wretched abyss known as the "Dead Zone", and I have come for what's rightfully mine!

What's going on? I don't remember releasing the Black Water Mist just ye--

OH GOD!

NO!

NO-- GET IT OFF OF ME!

(Screaming)

Mr. Popo, I'm back and I-- oh my me, what happened to the Lookout?

Oh don't mind this, Kami; I just had a bit of Italian for dinner.

What does that have to do with--

'Cause it was nothin' but Garlic!