Seriously, can we speed this up? It's cold as tits up here.

Y'know, maybe if you stopped whining and helped me look, we'd... oh, oh look, there's one. There's...

Actually, second thought, we don't *have* to steal the first one we see.

Oh I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your welching.

Hukgh, whatever.

So Jones, uh, how's the wife and kids?

Still dead, Chuck. Been for months.

Oh...

I am terrible at small talk.

Yes. You are.

Uh?

Huh, "Lucky Foods". Kind of ironic.

Uh, young man? Need you to stay out of our van.

Alright guys, we're taking the van.

No buddy, we're gonna drive it.

Oh... sorry.

It's cool. Now you have a place to sit.

Affirmative.

Shotgun.

Not quite what that means, but hey, keep trying, man.

Bitchin'. Next stop - Casa de Goku.

How 'bout no? New clothes first, Goku's "casa" second.

T'heh. Women... Am I right, Sixteen?

Confirmed: She is female.

T'hah! She is.

♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

Y'know, I should have brought this up earlier, but we should probably move Goku before the Androids get to his house.

It's been pretty non-stop here, so I'm a little out of the loop. What happened to Goku?

Oh, uh, he didn't take his medicine; grape-flavored. Go figure.

Yeah... go figure...

Actually, I really need to go pick up Chiaotzu. Left him over at Kame House.

So - how do you like my Chashu Ramen?

Wow, that is frickin' tasty! What's in this?

Little bit of sake, soy-sauce, beansprouts, poooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk...

I'm delicious...!

How old are you?!

So, I'm going to go grab him before things get... *weird*.

Later, Tien!

I can never read that guy...

Wait, before we go in, uh,

Uh, huh?

I wanted to ask:

You ever think that Android 18 is, uh, kind of... cute?

...No.

Alright then - dibs; by the way, quick warning!

Be super nice to Goku's wife, she can be a total--

(Pained griping)

Gohan! Oh... it's you.

Yeah, fine, I pretty much asked for that one.

Huh? Hey, guys! How it is?

Oh, uh, Yamcha, right? How's it ha-- I mean, how you doing?

Oh, you know... hanging in there.

Ughhhhhhh...

So, what happened? Did Vegeta clean up the Androids?

Not quite...

* Turns out there were three more * Vegeta got his arms broken * They beat everyone up * Piccolo flipped out * And *I* got kissed by the cute one.

...The clown?

No no no, there's a girl now.

I don't believe you.

You know, we should probably continue this conversation after we've moved Goku.

Move Goku? But he finally stopped screaming!

Gwaaaaaw...

N'okay, well-well, he's petering out.

We'll take him to Kame House! They'll never look for him there!

That is literally the second place they'll look.

Look, we're short on time *and* options. And who knows what those dastardly Androids are doing?

Wow, you actually pulled over.

No no no, this is gonna be great, shut up.

You two! This vehicle has been reported as stolen! You are under arrest!

Sir, I have checked the vehicle and I have identified another male.

And he is f*cking biiiig!

You cannot sit in the back. I called shotgun.

He has a weapon!

Cuff him!

Do we have any bigger... stronger cuffs?

Yeah, they're in the car.

Alright, I take it back. This is fun!

So, where's Vegeta during all this, anyway?

Oh, I'm sure he's off somewhere...

GODDAMMIT! SHIIIII...!!

...*coping*.

GOHAAAN~!

'Oh, good...'

Oh, I swear I am never letting you get away from me again.

We're gonna get that GPS tracking chip installed in your neck by the end of the week!

Uh, little help?

Androids are coming! Gotta move your dad! Get on the ship!

Where are we going?

Kame House.

Isn't that literally the second place they'll look?

Less lip, more ship!

I'm here for Chiaotzu.

We need to train.

But Tien, the doctor said if your shoulders get any bigger--

That's why we don't see him anymore.

Wait, so you didn't beat the Androids?!

Well, they broke both of Vegeta's arms...

so you know, that was pretty fun. Otherwise, it was a total wash.

I can never read that guy...

Welp, you heard the man. Pig, fetch my laptop.

We're gonna buy us a submarine!

Alright, but you're not allowed to name it after your junk.

Bitch, I'm buyin' it, I'm namin' it!

Mmm.

Mm?

Hnn?

Hnn?

Hghn!

Hn?!

Hmm...

Hghmm...!

'*Oh, just fuse already*!'

So, both arms, huh?

Both. She was beautiful with a capital B--

I-I mean brutal!

Uncomfortably brutal!

...I wasn't distracted by her eyes...

So wait, Trunks? I'm curious....

If you came back in time again to help us, does that mean we already failed?

Actually - turns out that's not how time-travel works.

So you're saying I can't just take your Time Machine, go back in time, and tell myself not to date Maron?

I don't know who that is... but, no, you couldn't. I mean, you could, but it wouldn't be the same you!

You see, when I traveled back to the past, I'm... technically going to a different universe.

Oh - you mean Multiverse Theory?

Wait, what?

Yeah.

With every decision, it creates a branch in the timeline.

Whenever you travel back in time, you're actually entering another parallel universe.

How could you possibly--?

I've been studying theoretical physics... although at this point, I guess it's just physics.

Good. Then if that's all out of the way, we can start your review on cellular biology!

Aw, but cells are *boring*!

I don't get it.

If it doesn't affect your timeline, why even come back to ours and tell us anything in the first place?

Well, besides wanting to make at least one timeline without the world being destroyed...

my mother didn't tell me until AFTER I'd already done it once.

...And then she tried to bang you~...!

Uh-huh?

Oh, speak of the devil! That's her ringtone.

What is *that*?

What is what?

This music!

You mean country music?

Oh!

*This* is country music?

What, you don't have country in the future?

No! Shortly after I was born it all just... vanished.

Nobody knows exactly what happened.

So, someone wanna get that? Kinda flying the plane...!

Aw, fine.

Krrillin~ sp--

Shut up, I've got some important news.

Good or bad news?

It depends. Is Trunks there?

...Is this a booty call?

*Krillin*!

Right behind me!

Hi, Mom...

Hey...

Ya missed me, four-eyes!

That was a warning shot, fat-ass! Now put down the fridge!

Viva la honey-baked ham!

...Yeah, anyway, I just got the strangest call from some farmer in the countryside fifty miles out of Ginger Town...

said he found one of our vehicles out there.

Wow, this is so interesting, does it have anything to do with the *Androids* we're fighting?

Shut up, and it might.

I'm faxing over the picture he took.

You have a *fax* machine?

What's a fax machine?

You see; that one makes sense.

Just shut up and show it to Trunks!

What?

No, this can't be right!

This is my Time Machine!

Maybe you misplaced it.

That's impossible; I put it away in its capsule!

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure. Here, just let me show you.

WAIT, NO!

Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

It's on top of Goku!

Dad!

Put it back, put it back, put it back!

Oh good, that's back...

So, I've been thinking about it... what do we do after we kill Goku?

Whatever the hell we want! Who's gonna stop us?

Not Goku.

*Exactly*. Speaking of which, Sixteen - what's our ETA?

We are currently 2,544 miles from our destination.

Ohhh, my God...

Hey, come on sis, it ain't so bad! Let's turn on our good old friend, the radio.

Oh, that is ten pounds of nope in a five pound bag.

Right right, sorry. Forgot we were out in the sticks.

You know what? I think I know the first thing we're gonna do.