Men, introductions!

Ginyu!

Jeice!

Burter!

Guldo!

Recoome!

And together, we are:

'Sure is Zarbon in here.'

Lord Freeza, thank you for this chance to serve you.

AND BUST SOME HEADS!

Quite. But before we get down to business... Jeice!

Yes sir, Cap'n. Here you go, Lord Freeza - the new up to date Scouters.

Good. And they have the ringtone I wanted?

Yes, sir.

Glorious!

Now, as you have been informed, Vegeta and a few other pests have taken my Dragon Balls.

Whoa, whoa, whoa - Vegeta?

Little Veggie?

What's a Dragon Ball?

Recoome can't believe he had it in him!

I know, right?!

What's a Dragon Ball?!

Yes, it turns out Zarbon and Dodoria weren't enough. I've called you five here to get them back.

Easy enough. Would you rather them dead, or alive?

Either/or.

Dead it is.

Ginyu Force, assemble!

Speed of light and strength of all

The Ginyu Force shall make them fall

Lord King Cold's army's strongest force

We'll beat them all, secure the course

If trouble meets us as we pass

We'll shove our fists right up their ass!

Ginyu Force!

MOVE OUT!

♫ Frieza! Frieza! Frieza! Frie-za! ♫

We're dead! We. Are. Dead! All dead! All gonna die! Dead Men Be We!

A cornucopia of pain and despair is coming our way to ensure our demise!

We are so going to die-e-e!

Why-y-y-y?!

Naaail. Slap him.

Ow!

Thank you.

Every fiber of my being wants to puke at once when I say this... but I need your heeeh... I need your heeeheeeeeh...

You need our help?

That, yes.

Alright, but if we're gonna be a team, we need a name.

No, we don't.

Ooh, I know! How about "Team Three Star"?

...What?

* Well, we're a team * And there's three of us * And the Dragon Balls have stars on them.

Team Three Star!

That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're *still* the second most annoying bald person I've ever had the displeasure to work with.

Team Three Star, move out!

I swear to God...!

AAAAAH!

Hello, Earth woman.

Whaa... aaah... aaaah... aah...

You know what I want.

Now give it to me.

But, the Dragon Ball's right there!

Oh... I'm not here for the Dragon Ball.

Whaa... what?

Spread 'em.

Ah... AAAAAHHH!

Takin' the Dragon Ball! Bitch at me later!

Your hair looks stupid!

Sorry, Bulma...

ALL OF MY HATE!!

Vegeta, if you don't mind me asking... what are we in for?

You ever watch Power Rangers?

No.

Ninja Turtles?

No.

Sailor Moon?

No.

Beetleborgs?

No.

VR Troopers?

No.

Samurai Syber-Squad?

No.

...Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills?

Oh yeah!

Goddammit!

Yes! We made it here before the Ginyus! Come on, let's get this over with and... what the hell are you two doing?

We don't think we can trust you. You still haven't pledged your allegiance to Team Three Star!

What are you, dense?! The Ginyu Force could be here any second and then we're--

Hi, Vegeta.

Hi, Ginyu. And then we're--

Son of a c{BLEEP}-g{BLEEP} f{BLEEP}-beast!

Why the f{BLEEP} does all this f{BLEEP} s{BLEEP} happen to me?!

As far as I care, these miserable c{BLEEP} can have a f{BLEEP} s{BLEEP} with a goddamn pig!!

Jeice, please.

Sorry, Cap'n. Me scouter's acting a bit shonky.

...Are you done?

(Panting)

...yeah.

Very good. Now to cut straight to the point, I want those two Dragon Balls you have there.

Oh, so *that's* a Dragon Ball.

Supposedly, there are seven in total if my report is correct, and the other five are...

Right-behind-you!

My *God*, man, you just *cannot*--

Shut-up-when-I'm-scared-I-know.

I-once-had-a-crush-on-a-little-Indian-boy-that-I-thought-was-a-girl.

Please kill him. Seriously, he won't be missed.

Well, I do believe that accounts for everything.

Before I take these Dragon Balls and leave my associates here to clean up, is there anything you'd like to say to me, Vegeta?

As a matter of fact, there is.

Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, back to me.

I am not your men, I'm flipping you off, now look at the ground, back to me.

Where's the Dragon Ball? It's gone! I threw it!

AND THERE IS NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN--!

Here you go, Boss.

Thank you, Burter.

S'what I do.

But-- but I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could!

Oh, you can't beat my speed. I'm the fastest in the universe!

That's what she said!

We're all going to die anyway, so...

Baldie! Break the ball!

What-the-I--

Punch the damn thing!

RRRAAAHHH!

OW, my hand!

Hit it harder!

But I--

HARDER!

YAAAAAH!

Uh, Guldo, don't you think you should...

Oh-oh right, that thing I do... stopping time, yeah.

Break it or I'll break you!

One sec...

WAAAHHH--!

What-I...?

What? Where did it go?!

See this, Vegeta? This is for all the time you used to embarrass me!

Hey Vegeta, how's it going?

Aw, look, it's Guldo!

You wanna biscuit, boy? You wanna biscuit?!

Do you think I'm a dog?

Have a biscuit!

(Growling)

And now, it'll be *you* who rolls over and plays dea--!

(Growling)

Alright, everyone settle down. Before I take these Dragon Balls to Lord Freeza, it's time for everyone's favorite game!

Now for the folks viewing at home, the rules are simple.

One of my men will spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on - he kills!

What the...? When did you have time to set this up?

And... is that a camera?!

What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!

Love this show.

Alright - first contestant.

Come on, Vegeta! Come ooon, Vegeta!

Aaarrrgggh! Re-spin! Re-spin! Re-spin!

Lucky little bastard got two of 'em.

Alright, let's give this sucker a spin!

*Congratulations* - you've just won a free all-expense-paid trip to Space Australia!

Oh, you've got to be freaking kidding me.

Oh hey, Space Oz! That's me home planet!

Wait, hold on... you're from Australia?

*Space* Australia. Or more specifially, Space Brisbane.

Go Space Broncos!

So... it's, like, Australia--

In space!

Gotta be careful though, Burter. Space Dingo will eat yer space baby... like me sister... poor Sheila--

Can we *please* get on with this?

Oh, right. Let's have a go, then.

Oh, *piss off*, you great bloomin' pinwheel!

Oh, great. That means Vegeta goes to--

Yes! [To Guldo] In your face! [To Vegeta] Vegeta, your time is coming.

Soon - you will face the End-All, the Be-All, the Plead-All: REEEEEEEEEECOOOOOMEuhh!!

I swear I don't even know what's going on anymore.

Alright gang, it's time for me to head off. Try not to mess up your uniforms and be back by 0500!

Yes, Captain!

Ciao!

So, uh... I guess we're fighting the little green guy over there?

Yeah, that's Guldo. Have fun with him.

Any strategies?

Throw dog treats at him.

How will that help?

I'll find it *hilarious*.

Well come on, Gohan. We're strong enough to take this guy. Just keep your guard up.

That's right - keep on your guard. Don't drop it... not even for an *instant*!

ZA WARUDO!!

What are you-- going on about--?

You see that? That was just a taste of my power!

Huh?

Yahoow! What, the, hell was that?!

That... was supposed to crush you.

Gohan! Did you see it? His power... he can--

Stop time?

--summon steamrollers!

Y--... you sure about that?

Positive! Go for him!

You fools! RAAAAAH!

EEEEERGH!

UHHHH!

(Creepy laughter)

My psychic powers are unrivaled in all the galaxy!

You stood there and *mocked* me... the whole *world* stood there and mocked me!

But now, you find yourselves slaves to my whim!

Feel the earth fall out from under you, your world *shatter*!

AS I... AM... YOUR--

...why can't I feel my everything?

Oh...

'This is the end of the road... the end for me... I... I wonder... will I dream?'

I f**king hate you.

I know.

Son of a gum-chewing funk-monster!

Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me?!

Forget my life!

Always surrounded by miserable failing clods!

Like this whole world just likes to *bend* me over and FIND ME IN THE ALPS!

Like I'm some sort of shlock receptacle!

Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue with a goddamn pig!!