And so I tell him:

“I don’t care who you are! Now clean my jowls!”

And that was Nail’s first day on the job.

Yes sir, I remember; I was there. That also doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about.

What were we talking about?

That ungodly POWER headed our way!

Oh yeah. That.

You know, perhaps you should give someone *else* that power-up?

You remember - the one you gave the Earthlings?

You are correct. It is time for me to unlock your hidden powers… Dende.

AH, WHAT THE HELL?!

And now, your power has been awakened.

I noticed (!)

Sir, I was referring to ME!

Now listen to me, Dende.

With these powers, you garner a huge responsibility.

I need you to run as fast as you can to the Earthlin—

Sir, he left you the moment after you gave him the power-up.

That SLUT!

Eriito Senshi - Ginyū Tokusentai!

♫ Tokusentai! ♫

...Then out of nowhere, this *stupid* guy in this *stupid* outfit starts beating us up and I lost me best mate and–!

Jeice! You’ll speak to me professionally and dutifully.

Oh, um... sorry, Cap’n.

Now, Jeice, back from the field. Full report!

Well, see, at first it was going fine, but next thing we know, Guldo, well…

Oh Lord, he’s dead, isn’t he?

That he is, sir.

Well, in our line of work, our lives can be compromised at any moment. This is something we must live with.

On the plus side, Burter owes me 50 Raditz.

Aaabout that, Cap'n - he’s probably not gonna pay up.

Really? He’s usually such a good sport about that.

Thing is, he’s come down with a sudden case of death, sir.

Oh... that's... wow...

That’s a rather hefty loss.

Yes, sir. He was a valued teammate. Strong, fast, and—

And blue!

Pardon, Cap’n?

Blue! And tall! And you're so red! And short!

It was the perfect little yin-yang thing we had going.

Not that short, Cap’n.

Oh, don’t go all Vegeta on me.

Now, where are we going to find another blue recruit? Perhaps Recoome knows someone?

(Breathes tellingly)

He’s dead too, isn’t he?

Yeeaaah.

Well, did he at least die with dignity?

Define "dignity", sir.

Uhhh…

Well, Jeice, I believe the next step is obvious.

We, as professionals, cannot allow this act to go unabated.

We have a job to finish, and we shall see it through.

Yes, sir!

Ginyu Force, away!

Sure is nice to see you guys again. But I sure can’t help but feel that someone’s missing...

Oh yeah; Bulma!

What do you think she’s up to?

Probably something girly.

♫ Yeah! ♫

Like her hair.

Your idiotic banter is charming, but if you haven’t noticed, we’re pretty much screwed here.

What? Why?

Freeza has the Dragon Balls, you *dolt*, which basically means we’re already dead!

Actually, not really.

Oh? Something you know that I don’t?

A lot of things, actually.

...You have five seconds to rephrase that...

4... 3...

Actually what I meant to say was when you make a wish on the Dragon Balls, the sky turns darker than the *blackest* void…

Hm?

...and out of the balls rises a *giant dragon*!

So yeah, none of that.

...2... 1...

Hi, Vegeta.

Hi, Ginyu--... uugh...

That’s him, Cap’n! That’s the one who beat us up!

*What*? Just look at his hair! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sakes, Jeice, he’s even wearing pajamas!

I swear it, sir! He picked us apart one by one! We never stood a cha—!

GAOGH! D'oh, that’s just not *fair*!

Jeice, what have I told you?!

You know, I’m surprised you’re here, Ginyu. I thought you’d be busy polishing Freeza’s boots.

* First off, Lord Freeza doesn’t wear boots. * Second, if he did, I’d have already polished them. * Third, he’s off chasing some leftover Namekians.

Wait, so Freeza’s not at the ship?

Correct.

And you’re here?

That’s right.

And the average power level of Freeza’s soldiers is…

Two thousand.

Iiiinteresting!

Krillin! Gohan! Get out of here and find Bulma.

Vegeta and I can handle this on our own.

Oh, no! I mean, I’d really hate to leave you on your own, you know but if you say so, LET’S GO, GOHAN!

Be careful, Dad!

All right, Vegeta. We have to put our differences aside for now, and take these guys as a team.

Yeah, that’s fantastic and entertaining and all that, but first, if you don’t mind me, I need to use the restroom.

Oh, okay--

About a hundred miles away.

...He has a very nervous bladder.

AAHWOOH!

'So, for the first century, I’ll go easy on them, lure them into a false sense of security; and then when they think I’m not so bad, BAM! I’ll go full tyrant on them in the second century! After that, I’ll disappear for a millennia and make them wonder if I ever existed to begin with... just to come back and kill them all.'

Good afternoon.

It’s morning...

Cute kid. Seems familiar.

What do *you* want?

Ah, good sir. I suppose you could say I’m looking for "technical support".

Naaaail! Do we have a visitor?

Yes, sir.

Naaaail! Take his coat!

I don’t have a coat.

He doesn’t have a coat, sir. And I believe this is the man who basically killed our entire race.

Naaail. Don’t take his coat.

You see, I recently acquired what you people refer to as “Dragon Balls”, but I’m having trouble getting them to do what I want.

Did you try working the shaft?

*Classy*.

Naaaail! What does he want?

He’s asking how to use the Dragon Balls.

Did you tell him to work the shaft?

Yes, Lord Guru.

Good work, Nail.

I have the distinct impression you’re going to be difficult.

Well, sir, if you’re having a problem with our customer support, you can call 1-800-EAT-A-D**K.

We don’t even haaave those!!

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. What *is* that?

Oh, God! NATURAL LIIIGHT!

*Good Lord*, I was led to believe your species survived entirely on water! How is he so FAT?!

Oh, hello. I’m Super Kami Guru, and I’m the guy who’s *not* judging you on your appearance.

Well, my name is Freeza, ruler of most of the known galaxy. I’m here to offer you a deal.

You give me the information I require, and I’ll let the sporting young man live.

Pleeease. Nail isn’t afraid of you. He is the strongest of our race!

Oh, really?

Uh, sir?

Yeah. Nail’s gonna *destroy* your sorry ass. They wouldn’t be able to air it on the news because it’ll be SO BRUTAL!

Sir, seriously!

Hush, Nail! I’m speaking for you.

Well, then. If this is the only course of action available to me, I accept.

I’ll dispatch of this worm, and then I’ll be back for *you*, *slug*.

Leave my brother out of this!

Sir, his power is overwhelming! I can also sense it’s only a fraction of what he’s capable of!

*Nail*, listen to me.

You are Namek’s number one son. A prodigy child.

You have been trained in the ancient ways. I believe in you.

You… mean that, Lord Guru?

Yes, Nail. Now show him the staggering spirit of Namek, and waste his smug ass!

Yes, sir! Follow me!

Fool. If I had trained him in the *new* way, he might’ve stood a chance...

You have an interesting form, and a surprisingly well-honed technique.

And you’re purple!

I’m sufficiently impressed! You’ve held your own very well.

But your form and grace will never compare to that of the illustrious CAPTAIN GINYU!

You mean, like this?

Oh, God! Is that what I look like?!

Jeice! That isn’t what I look like, is it?!

No, Cap’n! You look amazing!

No offense, but this is boring.

Like, really boring.

Like, listening to Gohan’s piano recital boring.

I realize these poses in an effort to invigorate my men and raise morale!

How DARE you mock them!

Well, I mean, it’s just, I’m not even using half my power right now.

Ahaahhhhh. Quite a substantial bluff! But a bluff, and nothing more.

I’ve witnessed your abilities first hand, and I assure you that you’re—

HIYAAAAA... AAA... AAA... AAAAYAAAH!!

(Shocked gasp)

A hundred and eighty thousand!

Huh...

Oy, Cap’n! Isn’t your max power level only one hundred and—

D'AAAUUUUGGHH!!

...Yeah, one hundred and twenty thousand. That’s what I thought.

Is he gonna be okay?

Eh, the Cap’n? Yeah, he just does that sometimes.

GAUGH!!

All right, I’m back!

‘Ow ya goin, Cap’n?

How do you think??

Well, Cap’n, if you’re gettin’ stressed, you could always… you know...

*Oh, Jeice*! This is hardly the time or the place!

Besides, I did it in the pod on the way here.

Uh… I meant switch bodies, sir...

Ah yes, of course! Hold my Scouter.

Hey, what’re you doing with your hand?

URRRHHG! URH!

Um, sir? You’re supposed to do that to me.

Ohh-ho, but you see... I DID do it to you!

I don’t understand--

CHANGE NOOOWWWW!

'Ahahahahahahaa!'

'Haaahahahahahaaa!'

'Oh, wow… what happened? Everything seems… weird...'

'...oh, hey! There’s another me over there! I wonder if—'

'Aaaah! Ow! My *chest*! What in the…'

'...oh...'

GINYU!

...oh...

...ohhhh...

♫ Tokusentai! ♫

Hey, Bulma! We’re back!

How are ya doing?

I FOUGHT A GIANT CRAB!

They make a special shampoo for that, I hear.

OW!