“Episode 11”

Roshi: Hey there, Goku. How goes the recovery?

Goku: Well, the doctor said I should be in here for a couple of months; what with the crushed legs, shattered ribs... and the brain damage... and the brain damage ...and the brain damage.

Goku: Oh hey Master Roshi, when did you get here?

Dr. Fieldgood: Mister... "San Gaa-ku"?

Dr. Fieldgood: You have another visitor to see you.

Goku: What? But... all my friends are already here.

Mr. Popo: Not *all* of them.

Goku: Uh...uh..uh!!

Young Goku: Yay! I made it to the top!

Young Goku: Now I can train with Kami! The strongest, most powerful being on the...

Young Goku: Hmm? Who's that?

Goku: AAAAAH! AAAAH! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!

Nurse 1: Hold him down!

Goku: AAAAAAAYAAAH!

Nurse 2: Careful, he’s injured!

Goku: OH GOD!! OH GOD!!

Dr. Fieldgood: Well, we’ve finally been able to sedate him. Took us a while; we had to go through some alternative treatment.

Roshi: Oh, really? What did you use?

Dr. Fieldgood: Something I found under the sink. I think it was... Clorox or something.

Goku: Aarrggargggg....

Dr. Fieldgood: Well, page me if you need me.

Mr. Popo: Byyye.

Roshi: Oh, you’re still here. Who are you anyway?

Korin: That’s Mr. Popo. He lives up on the lookout with Kami.

Roshi: ...Did that cat just talk?

Mr. Popo: Alright. Everyone listen up if you want to get those other useless maggots back.

Krillin: You mean, you can get our friends back--?

Mr. Popo: Shut up, maggot!

Krillin: Yes, Sir!

Mr. Popo: As I was saying, the only hope to get your friends back is to use the Dragon Balls on Kami’s home planet: Namek.

Bulma: Namek? That’s not a planet I’ve ever heard of.

Mr. Popo: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn’t know any better. What are the odds?

Krillin: To be fair, Mr. Popo, until recently I’ve never heard of that planet either.

Mr. Popo: Oh, look at that. A woman who doesn’t know any better.

Krillin: AGA--d'aah! Dammit I walked right into that one.

Mr. Popo: Anyway, I’m the only one who knows where Kami’s old ship is, and the only one with the transportation to get you there; and this is a carpet made for two.

Bulma: Well, I think the only way to fairly decide on this is to have a democratic vote.

Krillin: Bulma!

Roshi: Bulma!

Korin: Bulma.

Gohan: Bulma.

Yajirobe: Bulma.

Ox King: Yoooohooo! Bulma.

Goku: (Gurgle)

Bulma: Okay, um...uh....oh!

Bulma: HA! We don’t need your help!

Bulma: I’ve got right here a remote control to one of the crashed Saiyan ships. All I have to do is put in these coordinates and...

TV Reporter: YEEEEEEE--!!

Voice: CRITICAL FAILURE!

Mr. Popo: Well, well, well. Look who just ran out of options...

Roshi: Dammit, Bulma, stop being such a scaredy-cat and get on the carpet with the scary genie.

Bulma: Ugh, I swear to God - if anything happens to me while I’m gone, I’m kicking Krillins’ ass.

Mr. Popo: Oh, you and I are gonna get along just fine.

Bulma: (Distressed noises)

Mr. Popo: Alright, here we are - Yunzabit Heights.

Bulma: Wait a sec... how did we make it here so fast? This is the other side of the planet!

Mr. Popo: Yep, this carpet gets about ten thousand miles to the soul.

Bulma: What?

Mr. Popo: ...The gallon.

Bulma: But... if you can make it to the other side of the planet so fast, why didn’t you help Goku get to the Saiyans when he arrived on Earth?

Mr. Popo: I was preoccupied.

Goku: Mr. Popo! I need your carpet to get to my friends as quickly as possible!

Mr. Popo: Makin' toast!

Goku: Aww, fiiine...!

Goku: Nimbus!

Mr. Popo: Butterin' toast!

Mr. Popo: Here it is - Kami’s ship.

Bulma: It’s old and covered in moss!

Mr. Popo: I know. Fits, doesn’t it? Now get in.

Bulma: But, how do we--

Mr. Popo: Popo!

Bulma: Oh wow! Your name opens the ship?

Mr. Popo: Popo!

Bulma: ...And it closes it too!

Mr. Popo: POPO!!

Mr. Popo: No. It just knows better. Welcome to Jupiter.

Bulma: My God! We’re so far into space! In such a short amount of time!

Bulma: This is wonderful, Mr. Popo! We can finally save our friends! This is terrific! This is--

Mr. Popo: POOOOOOPOOOOOOOOO!!

Bulma: And we went to Jupiter in just a couple of seconds! We’ll be at Namek in no time! And even better, Popo could be our pilot!

Krillin: OH DEAR GOD!

Mr. Popo: No.

Krillin: OH THANK GOD!

Bulma: But, why aren’t you--

Mr. Popo: If I was going to do it myself, why would I need you?

Mr. Popo: See you when you get back! Except... this season... you.

Krillin: Heh... whaddya think he means by that? Heh.

Chi-Chi: Well, all I know is that my little boy isn’t going anywhere.

Gohan: Actually, Mom... I’m going to Namek.

Chi-Chi: As. I. Said. My little boy... isn't... going... *anywhere*!

Gohan: But Mom! Piccolo died for me! It’s my responsibility!

Chi-Chi: Gohan, I am your mother! And as your mother, you will listen to me, and you will do as I say!

Gohan: But that's not--

Chi-Chi: Did you carry around a baby in you for nine months, with a man who literally thought you had Cinna-Buns hidden in your shirt?!

Gohan: But I--

Chi-Chi: Now you’re going to lay in this hospital bed, recover like a normal boy, and then you’re going right back to your Advanced Trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL--!!

Gohan: SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!!!!

Gohan: ...I’ll be going to Namek now.

Chi-Chi: You best.

Bulma: Uh well, uh... better get started on that ship!

Gohan: Please hurry...

Narrator: With that, Bulma got to work on the ship to prepare it for their travel.

Bulma: Hey Dad, how are things coming along?

Dr. Briefs: Well, I’m working on your translator, but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don’t understand.

Toilet: Toire de arimasu! (Japanese for “I am a toilet”)

Dr. Briefs: Damn moon-speak!

Narrator: And in ten days, the remaining warriors were recovered and ready to set out to Namek.

Krillin: So, you sure this thing’s ready to fly?

Bulma: Yep! I’ve gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing: We couldn’t fix the translator for the toilet...

Toilet: ICH BIN GEFÜLLT MIT PISSWASSER! (German for “I am filled with pee”)

Roshi: Hey, I think I see their car.

Krillin: Hey Gohan, how are yo--ooOOOH MY GOD!

Krillin: What happened to your head? You look like a young Moe Howard!

Gohan: Well look who’s talking, Curly!

Krillin: Why, I oughta--!

Bulma: Clam it, chowderheads, we gotta get going!

Gohan: Bye everybody!

Chi-Chi: Now Gohan, don’t make any friends with any questionable strangers!

Chi-Chi: That includes you, Krillin!

Krillin: So Bulma, where do I put my stuff?

Bulma: Sit down, strap in, and shut up!

Krillin: Uh, alright...

Krillin: So Gohan, how much stuff did you bring?

Gohan: Well, Mom packed my bags, so there’s a lot in there.

Krillin: Well, you know what they say: “Always be prepared”.

Bulma: Popo.

Krillin: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Gohan: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Goku: Gggrarrrggagrggagrag...bacon....hcrrrg...