“Episode 2”

Goku: Hey Piccolo, mind if I ask you somethin'?

Piccolo: What is it?

Goku: You’re not human either, right?

Piccolo: Yeah...?

Goku: And your dad spit you out as an egg, right?

Piccolo: What about it?

Goku: Are...

Goku: Are you a Yoshi?

Piccolo: ...Yes, Goku; I’m a green f***ing dinosaur!

Goku: Can...

Goku: Can I ride you?

Piccolo: Huuuurrrrgh...!

Raditz: Shut up.

Raditz: I said shut up!

Raditz: SHUT UP!

Raditz: Dammit, why isn’t screaming angrily making you cry less?!

Raditz: Aw, to hell with this, you're roomin' in the time-out pod.

Raditz: 'Thank sweet merciful God that’s over.'

Raditz: Now I can just sit back and--

Raditz: ...beat the crap out of whoever’s coming, (Sigh), great...

Goku: Raditz, give me back my son!

Goku: Wheeeeee!

Raditz: Hmmm... so, you’re here already... and I see you brought the Namekian as well.

Goku: A-actually, that hasn’t been explained yet.

Raditz: Oh...

Raditz: Well, it’s not like anyone cares about him anyway.

Piccolo: Well, screw you too!

Goku: Piccolo? You use weighted training clothes as well?

Piccolo: No, Goku; I just *love* to get naked when I’m around you.

Raditz: 'Their power level is rising...'

Raditz: So... nudity makes you stronger on this planet!

Goku: Uh, no; we’re wearing weighted clothing.

Raditz: Oh... of course!

Raditz: Because that would be ridiculous! A-hahahaha...!

Piccolo: So that hair *does* compensate for something.

Phil Ken Sebben: Ha ha! Dangly parts.

Raditz: SHUT UP!

Goku: ERGH!

Piccolo: OOARGH!

Piccolo: OK, what the hell was that?

Goku: I don’t know! But let’s try it again...

Goku: from *behind*!

Goku: AHHHH!

Piccolo: HURRRGH!

Piccolo: AGHH! GUWAH!

Piccolo: We *really* shouldn’t be announcing our attack strategy--

Goku: Rush him!

Piccolo: Dammit, Goku!

Goku: HURRRGH!

Piccolo: Will you at least try to dodge this one?!

Goku: Dodge wha--?

Goku: WHOA, GEEZ!

Piccolo: ARRGH!

Goku: Ha! You missed me--!

Raditz: My bad.

Goku: AGH! Ugh!

Raditz: Hu-hu-hu-hu!

Goku: 'Note to self: Less talky, more fighty.'

Goku: Ahh...

Goku: Hey, Piccolo, we may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one.

Goku: High fiiii-EEEE-ee!

Goku: Uh... handsha--

Goku: Thumbs u--

Goku: ...G-good job.

Raditz: HAHA, AHAHAha, AHAHha!

Raditz: "Aw, excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can’t miss it - it’s green!" Hahaha...!

Piccolo: Yeah... anyway, listen.

Piccolo: I’ve got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm.

Goku: And what's the down side?

Piccolo: You’ll have to distract him while I charge it...

Goku: That's not too ba--

Piccolo: ...For five minutes.

Piccolo: And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one-- eh...

Piccolo: ah, never mind, I’m sure you can handle it.

Goku: Wow... you really have that much faith in me?

Piccolo: Yeah, sure... why not?

Goku: Well then, I won’t disappoint you.

Goku: Here goes nothin'!

Goku: HURRRGH! Ready or not, here I co--!

Goku: AGGGHH!

Piccolo: ♪ 'Dun dunnnn duh dun dun...' ♪

Piccolo: ♪ 'Mahna mahna' ♪

Piccolo: ♪ 'Dun duh dun duh...' ♪

Piccolo: ♪ 'Mahna mahna. Dunnn duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh, dunna' ♪

Piccolo: ♪ 'I'm a chargin’ my attack.' ♪

Goku: Ha! Got your tail!

Raditz: Please let me go?

Goku: Well... since you asked nicely...

Goku: AHHH!

Piccolo: 'Perhaps on second thought, a whole five-minute startup time for an attack is preeetty abysmal in terms of usability in battle...'

Goku: Piccolo help!

Goku: Ha! Got your tail! Again!

Raditz: Please let go?

Goku: I’m not falling for that again!

Raditz: Pretty please let me go?

Goku: Wellllll...

Goku: Ooh, OW! Spine!

Goku: OW! Ribs! Definitely ribs!

Raditz: Aha! Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle...

Raditz: A cunning strategy!

Raditz: No... no n-not “cunning”...

Raditz: What’s the opposite of that?

Piccolo: "Retarded"?

Raditz: That's it! Thank you!

Raditz: Now, disregarding the Namekian, I--

Goku: Uh-uh! A Yoshi!

Piccolo: I’m not a goddamn Yoshi!

Goku: But you said you were!

Piccolo: It’s called "sarcasm"!

Goku: What’s that taste like?

Piccolo: Damn it, Goku!

Goku: AHH!

Raditz: STOP IGNORING ME!

Goku: Aagh, my *ribs*! *I think you broke my*...!

Goku: Mmmmmm~ ribs...

Raditz: Eurrrgh! Stop...ignoring...me...and DIE!

Goku: Ow. Ow. Ow!

Raditz: Huh?

Gohan: Stop beating up my Daddy~!

Gohan: AAAHH!

Raditz: Nooo, my space pod--!

Raditz: AAAUGH! My space armor!

Piccolo: We get it; you’re from space!

Raditz: Ughh! Uhhhh...!

Gohan: Uhh!

Goku: G-Gohan?

Gohan: Huh?

Goku: What... was that?

Gohan: Daddy!

Goku: No, no; seriously, what the hell was that?

Goku: We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do tha--

Goku: Oh, crap...

Raditz: Uncle Raditz is PISSED!!

Goku: Wait... hold on!

Raditz: Or what? Mr. Shattered Ribs is going to stop me?

Goku: Listen, you don’t understand!

Goku: Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would do to me if she found out he died.

Raditz: Well, sucks to be you.

Goku: 'I don’t have any choice. I have to use my last technique!'

Raditz: NOW, DIE!

Goku: Full Nelson!

Raditz: A Full Nelson? That won’t work on me; I’m *Raditz*!

Raditz: OK, let go!

Raditz: Seriously, this is starting to piss me off!

Raditz: Hurh!

Goku: Piccolo!

Piccolo: Ready!

Raditz: HURRRGH!

Goku: Good!

Goku: Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing. I’m right behind him!

Raditz: HURGGH!

Piccolo: Oh, sure. I’ll give you a signal.

Piccolo: It’ll be the last signal you’ll ever *get*!

Piccolo: Muahahahaha! Rahahahahahahahahahahaa!

Goku: Well, OK, as long as we’re clear on that.

Piccolo: MAKANSA... (Sigh), MAKAKASAPOP... (Sigh), MEKKASAPPA... oh, to hell with it!

Piccolo: SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!

Raditz: Aaah...!

Goku: Is that what you’re going to yell out when you--

Goku: OH, GOD!!

Ricola Guy: Riiiiiicolaaaa--

Ricola Guy: AAAHAAHAAH!

Raditz: Aagh!

Goku: Augh!

Raditz: Dammit! Ungh...

Raditz: And there was no way I could have gotten out of there!

Piccolo: You know, you could’ve flown.

Raditz: Damn you, hindsiiiiight!

Raditz: Bleh.

Krillin: Goku! After several hours of debating, we decided you might need our--

Krillin: ...*Aah, crap*.

Krillin: Goku!

Krillin: You can't die!

Krillin: Here, I brought a Senzu bean!

Goku: I don’t think that’s gonna work.

Krillin: Why not?

Goku: I sort of have a hole in my esophagus...

Krillin: Wait, then how are you breathing?

Goku: U-uhh...

Krillin: Goku?

Goku: Huhh...

Krillin: Goku...?

Goku: Huhh...

Krillin: Holy crap...

Krillin: I’m not the first person to die in this series!!

Roshi: Krillin!

Krillin: What?

Roshi: Too soon!

Bulma: I can’t believe he’s gone.

Piccolo: Yeah. Pity, that.

Piccolo: RRAAAARRRGH!!

Piccolo: Errrughh...

Krillin: Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?

Piccolo: Yeah; and you know what else?

Krillin: What?

Piccolo: I’mtakingGohanBye!

Krillin: Quick... somebody stop him!

Krillin: Dammit, Roshi!

Roshi: Shut up, Krillin.

Krillin: Aww...

Goku: Gohan! Do a Headbutt!

Gohan: GoooHAN!