“WALK TOWARDS IT!”

Android 17: So, what *is* this, spearmint? Your inbred mutant cousin or something?

Piccolo: Wait, I thought he was on *your* side.

Android 17: What?! Why would *I* know him?

Imperfect Cell: Hello... *Brotherrr*...

Android 17: Come again?

Imperfect Cell: In a moment.

Imperfect Cell: And hello...

Imperfect Cell: ...My BEAAAUTIFUL SISTER.....

Imperfect Cell: (Slurping sounds)

Android 18: Oh, f*ck no!

Imperfect Cell: And...

Imperfect Cell: ...Um.

Android 16: I am designated as Android 16.

Imperfect Cell: .......

Imperfect Cell: Cool. Anywho...

Imperfect Cell: You have my sincerest gratitude, Piccolo~.

Imperfect Cell: Without power levels, I would have been left searching for them blindly.

Imperfect Cell: But thanks to *your* little skirmish, I have been reunited with my *family*...!

Imperfect Cell: ...And we have sooo much catching up to do~......!

Imperfect Cell: HAAAA-AAAAA-!!!!!

Android 17: Okay, so am I alone or did that not explain ANYTHING?!

Piccolo: He calls himself Cell. He's one of Dr. Gero's creations!

Piccolo: He's from the future.

Android 17: Oh, sure! He's from the future!

Android 17: Yeah, and I'm a Park Ranger!

Android 16: That sounds nice.

Android 18: Can we FOCUS?!?!

Tien: ...Guys? Is that who I think it is?

Krillin: Yeah, no yeah! Yeah!

Roshi: Dammit!

Roshi: And we still don't have that detonator.

Krillin: Yeah no! Yeah! Yeah, no!

Tien: We're out of time! We need to do something NOW!

Krillin: Yeah!

Chi-Chi: Here's a thought: How about one of you, who can fly faster than the speed of sound, go meet Bulma halfway?

Krillin: Chi-Chi, you beautiful woman who lives in Goku's house!

Chi-Chi: That is what I do.

Roshi: Well then, which one of you--

Krillin: DIBS!

Krillin: WOOHOO!

Roshi: Well, that works.

Roshi: Guess this is all we can do until Goku and Vegeta get ba--

Tien: *ENOUGH!*

Tien: I am not a spectator! I AM A *WARRIOR*!

Roshi: I can never read that guy.

Chi-Chi: Aren't you going to help too?

Roshi: No.

Chi-Chi: Is it because you're old?

Roshi: Yeh.

Chi-Chi: Where's Yamcha?

Yamcha: Hey Master Roshi! You're out of toilet paper!

Yamcha: Oh no... oh jeez, OH GOD...!

Kami: 'Alright... he's grown just a bit stronger since last time... No big deal. We've got this.'

Nail: 'HE'S GOING TO KILL US. He's going to kill Piccolo, and by extension, *US*.!!!'

Kami: 'I'm TRYING to boost his morale, you idiot!'

Imperfect Cell: Is it hard to bear, Piccolo?

Imperfect Cell: My overwhelming power?

Imperfect Cell: Its weight?

Imperfect Cell: Its... GIRTH~?

Piccolo: How...

Piccolo: HOW MANY PEOPLE?!

Imperfect Cell: ...Enough.

Android 17: Look, I don't know what you're on about with this family nonsense, but if you're here because of Gero, I 86'd him myself!

Android 17: So why don't we cancel these family matters, shelve the photo album and--

Android 17: FWUH!!!

Android 17: ... Come again-???

Imperfect Cell: If you insist!

Imperfect Cell: (Creepy laughter)

Imperfect Cell: HA-HWUUAHHH-!!!!

Imperfect Cell: (More creepy laughter...)

Android 17: Oookay! Future bugman...

Android 17: Let's say I, uh... Believe that now....

Android 17: Where do we go from here?

Imperfect Cell: INSIDE ME!

Android 17: Stop it!

Piccolo: He's also a walking talking Petri dish of the galaxy's strongest fighters!

Imperfect Cell: No need for flattery, Piccolo.

Imperfect Cell: *You're already inside me.*

Piccolo: STOP IT!

Android 17: Scared to ask, but, anything else?

Imperfect Cell: Ohoh, tell them about the part where I took an entire Battleball team!

Imperfect Cell: AT THE SAME TIME!

Android 18: ... Wait, is he kidding?

Piccolo: No.

Android 18: Ugh!

Android 17: That's fun, but it really doesn't answer the big question:

Android 17: Why is he here?

Imperfect Cell: You know, it's rude to talk about someone when they're right in front of you.

Android 17: Okay; WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Imperfect Cell: Because, BITCH...

Imperfect Cell: I DRINK PEOPLE.

Android 17: ...Yeah, f*ck that!

Android 17: HYAAAAAAAH--

Android 17: GAAAGH!!

Piccolo: HRAGH!!

Piccolo: GAUGH-!!

Piccolo: AGAHBLAGHABLAGLABALGA

Android 16: You should leave.

Android 18: What? Why?

Android 16: Neither of them can stand up to this "Cell".

Android 16: If he defeats them, you may not be safe.

Android 18: I can't just run.

Android 18: I'm WAY too curious to see how this plays out.

Android 16: I believe that is a poor decision.

Android 18: Maybe...

Android 18: But it's mine to make.

Piccolo: GKTAAAKAAGKT-AAAAGH-!!

Kami: 'I believe this what the young people call, "getting rekt".'

Nail: 'Yeah, man. If you have any techniques left up your sleeve, now's the time...!'

Piccolo: 'Yeah... I think I got one.'

Nail: 'Really? Since when?'

Piccolo: 'About now-ish.'

Android 17: ...Nope!

Piccolo: LIGHT GRENADE!

Android 16: ...He never stood a chance.

Android 18: See? And you were so afraid of the big bad bug.

Android 16: *That is not who I meant.*

Imperfect Cell: (Evil chuckling)

Piccolo: 'OH...'

Android 17: 'SHHHIT....'

Nail: 'OOOKAY, last ditch effort didn't work...'

Kami: 'Any last, LAST ditch efforts?!'

Piccolo: Just one...

Piccolo: NAIL GU--!!

Piccolo: AAIIEE-GAH!!!!

Imperfect Cell: Any last words, my big, green friend?

Piccolo: (Gurgle)

Imperfect Cell: Well said.

Imperfect Cell: Good game~.

Gohan: (Terrified grunt)

Goku: OH, THAT AIN'T GOOD...

Kami: 'Well... That's it, then, isn't it?'

Nail: '...... Gentlemen, it's been a privilege fighting with you....'

Gohan: (Gritting his teeth in utter fury)

Goku: You know, funny thing is... either way, we still wouldn't have Dragon Balls.

Gohan: MR. PICCOLOOO!!!

Goku: Gohan, no!

Gohan: I'LL KILL 'IM! *I'LL F*CKING KILL HIM!!!!*

Goku: You can't! Cell is too strong for you!

Gohan: Mr. Piccolo would let me go!

Goku: No, he wouldn't!

Goku: And he's SMARTER than me.

Gohan: I--

Gohan: ...Wow, o-okay. That's...

Gohan: ...Actually a good point.

Goku: And besides; the moment you leave, that door is going to open.

Mr. Popo: He's right, you know.

Goku: Every time.

Imperfect Cell: Ah, Piccolo...

Imperfect Cell: He died as he lived.

Android 18: Drowning?

Imperfect Cell: Alone.

Android 16: That is sad.

Imperfect Cell: Yes. Such isolation. I know his pain.

Imperfect Cell: So, my siblings...

Imperfect Cell: Why don't you come with me...

Imperfect Cell: And you'll be...

Imperfect Cell: (To the tune of 'Willy Wonka's World of Imagination')...In a world of truly pure

Imperfect Cell: PERFECTION~~~~~~......

Android 18: *Stop it*!!

Android 16: Seventeen! We need to go!

Android 17: No.

Android 17: I'm gonna play this one out.

Android 16: I believe that is a *poor decision*!

Android 17: Probably...

Android 17: But it's mine to make!

Android 17: HYAAAAAAAAAAAA--

Imperfect Cell: Y'know...

Imperfect Cell: *He wasn't wrong.*

Android 17: This... Is...

Android 17: The... GROSSEST THING-..!!!

Imperfect Cell: Aw, come now. Don't be so scared.

Imperfect Cell: Once you're a part of me, you'll be reunited with our sister in...

Imperfect Cell: ...I dunno; give me five minutes.

Imperfect Cell: Ten, tops.

Imperfect Cell: And once I have achieved my perfection, I'll take my time *killing every person on this planet...*

Imperfect Cell: Even the mighty Goku~~...

Imperfect Cell: (Maniacal laughter)

Android 16: Would you care to repeat that, YOU SON OF A BITCH?

Imperfect Cell: Got another one in ya?

Android 16: *STOP... IT!!!*

Android 17: Damn, Sixteen! Where the hell did THAT come from???

Android 17: And what TOOK YOU SO LONG?!?!

Android 16: I was waiting to see *how things played out*.

Android 17: Wait...

Android 17: Was that *sarcasm*?

Android 16: (Surprisingly Sassy tone.) *I am not programmed for sarcasm...*

Android 17: ..... I'm proud of you.

Android 16: Now if you'll excuse me, I will eliminate Cell.

Android 17: I thought you were only programmed to kill Goku.

Android 16: This "Cell" is comprised of 10.78% of Son Goku's DNA.

Android 16: These parameters...

Android 16: ARE ACCEPTABLE.

Imperfect Cell: Oh, ok, I guess we're doing THIS now!!!

Imperfect Cell: HAAAAAAAAAAH

Imperfect Cell: RAGH!!! (THUD!!)

Imperfect Cell: HEHEHEHE~!!!

Imperfect Cell: Ohhhh! An admirable attempt by the red-headed stepchild!

Imperfect Cell: But don't feel too disappointed; for now...

Imperfect Cell: YOU shall be a part of ME!

Imperfect Cell: ...? Of ME!

Imperfect Cell: Agh????

Imperfect Cell: *Of MEEEEEE!!!*

Imperfect Cell: AGH, GOD!

Imperfect Cell: Gah, what are you made of??? Pure METAL?!?!

Android 16: Affirmative. I am *ANDROID* 16.

Imperfect Cell: Oh...

Imperfect Cell: Errors have been made...

Imperfect Cell: HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH-!!!!!!!

Android 16: HAAAAH

Imperfect Cell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Imperfect Cell: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH-!!!!!!!

Imperfect Cell: N-n-now I know what you're thinking..!!

Imperfect Cell: "Should I rip off his tail?"

Imperfect Cell: And the answer might surprise--

Imperfect Cell: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Android 17: ....... I was not ready for today...

Android 18: I don't think ANY OF US WERE........

Imperfect Cell: Do you know...

Imperfect Cell: How long it's gonna take...

Imperfect Cell: *TO REGROW MY TAIL?!*

Android 16: .... Pardon m--

Imperfect Cell: Boop. (Wait wha-)

Imperfect Cell: Thanks to Uncle Piccolo's cells, an ultimately fruitless effort.

Imperfect Cell: But if it's any consolation...

Imperfect Cell: ...That *hurt like hell!*

Android 16: My mistake was starting at the wrong end.

Android 16: My next attempt...

Android 16: Will be on your HEAD.

Imperfect Cell: (Chuckling)

Imperfect Cell: And your second mistake is assuming I'll give you another chance.

Android 16: GAGH!!

Android 16: ROCKET PUNCH!

Imperfect Cell: WHA-?!?

Imperfect Cell: PAH-!!!!!!!

Android 18: 'Wow. Really?'

Android 17: 'THAT IS SO COOL!'

Android 18: ...Oh my God...

Android 18: He actually did it (!)

Android 16: Why are you still here?!

Android 17: Oh, come on, we can't just leave you here! We're the Three Amigos!

Android 16: You do not understand.

Android 16: I do not know if I am entirely capable of eliminating this "Cell".

Android 16: And should he absorb the two of you...

Android 16: ...He will wreak havoc upon this world.

Android 17: Well, yeah, but... We were gonna do that too.

Android 16: Yes...

Android 16: But I LIKE you.

Android 18: Aw~!

Android 16: Over the past last few days, I have come to feel a great adoration for this planet.

Android 16: From it's trees...

Android 16: ...To it's birds...

Android 16: ...To it's people...

Android 16: ...To it's birds.

Android 16: I do not wish to cause anymore destruction.

Android 18: Actually, Sixteen... I think you've got the right idea.

Android 17: Yeah, you know what?

Android 17: Screw that noise, man!

Android 17: Forget destroying everything, forget killing people,

Android 17: And you know what?

Android 17: Forget killing Son Goku!

Android 16: LET'S NOT GET CRAZY!

Imperfect Cell: TOO LATE~~~~!!!!!!

Imperfect Cell: (Maniacal Cackling)

Android 16: AGH-!!!

Android 17: Oh God, this is totally disgusting! This isn't how this is supposed to work!

Android 17: I'm not supposed to die like this! I'M TOO COOL!

Android 17: SOMEONE PULL OFF HIS TAIL! I'M TOO COOL FOR THIS! I'M TOO COOL--!

Android 16: RRRRGH!!