“Old Spice Vegeta”

Captain Ginyu: Men, introductions!

Captain Ginyu: Ginyu!

Captain Ginyu: Jeice!

Captain Ginyu: Burter!

Captain Ginyu: Guldo!

Captain Ginyu: Recoome!

Captain Ginyu: And together, we are:

Freeza: 'Sure is Zarbon in here.'

Captain Ginyu: Lord Freeza, thank you for this chance to serve you.

Recoome: AND BUST SOME HEADS!

Captain Ginyu: Quite. But before we get down to business... Jeice!

Jeice: Yes sir, Cap'n. Here you go, Lord Freeza - the new up to date Scouters.

Freeza: Good. And they have the ringtone I wanted?

Captain Ginyu: Yes, sir.

Freeza: Glorious!

Freeza: Now, as you have been informed, Vegeta and a few other pests have taken my Dragon Balls.

Recoome: Whoa, whoa, whoa - Vegeta?

Burter: Little Veggie?

Guldo: What's a Dragon Ball?

Recoome: Recoome can't believe he had it in him!

Burter: I know, right?!

Guldo: What's a Dragon Ball?!

Freeza: Yes, it turns out Zarbon and Dodoria weren't enough. I've called you five here to get them back.

Captain Ginyu: Easy enough. Would you rather them dead, or alive?

Freeza: Either/or.

Captain Ginyu: Dead it is.

Captain Ginyu: Ginyu Force, assemble!

Burter: Speed of light and strength of all

Recoome: The Ginyu Force shall make them fall

Jeice: Lord King Cold's army's strongest force

Guldo: We'll beat them all, secure the course

Captain Ginyu: If trouble meets us as we pass

Ginyu Force: We'll shove our fists right up their ass!

Captain Ginyu: Ginyu Force!

Ginyu Force: MOVE OUT!

Ginyu Force: ♫ Frieza! Frieza! Frieza! Frie-za! ♫

Vegeta: We're dead! We. Are. Dead! All dead! All gonna die! Dead Men Be We!

Vegeta: A cornucopia of pain and despair is coming our way to ensure our demise!

Vegeta: We are so going to die-e-e!

Vegeta: Why-y-y-y?!

Guru: Naaail. Slap him.

Krillin: Ow!

Guru: Thank you.

Vegeta: Every fiber of my being wants to puke at once when I say this... but I need your heeeh... I need your heeeheeeeeh...

Gohan: You need our help?

Vegeta: That, yes.

Krillin: Alright, but if we're gonna be a team, we need a name.

Vegeta: No, we don't.

Krillin: Ooh, I know! How about "Team Three Star"?

Vegeta: ...What?

Krillin: * Well, we're a team * And there's three of us * And the Dragon Balls have stars on them.

Krillin: Team Three Star!

Vegeta: That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're *still* the second most annoying bald person I've ever had the displeasure to work with.

Krillin: Team Three Star, move out!

Vegeta: I swear to God...!

Bulma: AAAAAH!

Vegeta: Hello, Earth woman.

Bulma: Whaa... aaah... aaaah... aah...

Vegeta: You know what I want.

Vegeta: Now give it to me.

Bulma: But, the Dragon Ball's right there!

Vegeta: Oh... I'm not here for the Dragon Ball.

Bulma: Whaa... what?

Vegeta: Spread 'em.

Bulma: Ah... AAAAAHHH!

Krillin: Takin' the Dragon Ball! Bitch at me later!

Vegeta: Your hair looks stupid!

Gohan: Sorry, Bulma...

Bulma: ALL OF MY HATE!!

Gohan: Vegeta, if you don't mind me asking... what are we in for?

Vegeta: You ever watch Power Rangers?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: Ninja Turtles?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: Sailor Moon?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: Beetleborgs?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: VR Troopers?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: Samurai Syber-Squad?

Gohan: No.

Vegeta: ...Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills?

Gohan: Oh yeah!

Vegeta: Goddammit!

Vegeta: Yes! We made it here before the Ginyus! Come on, let's get this over with and... what the hell are you two doing?

Krillin: We don't think we can trust you. You still haven't pledged your allegiance to Team Three Star!

Vegeta: What are you, dense?! The Ginyu Force could be here any second and then we're--

Captain Ginyu: Hi, Vegeta.

Vegeta: Hi, Ginyu. And then we're--

Vegeta: Son of a c{BLEEP}-g{BLEEP} f{BLEEP}-beast!

Vegeta: Why the f{BLEEP} does all this f{BLEEP} s{BLEEP} happen to me?!

Vegeta: As far as I care, these miserable c{BLEEP} can have a f{BLEEP} s{BLEEP} with a goddamn pig!!

Captain Ginyu: Jeice, please.

Jeice: Sorry, Cap'n. Me scouter's acting a bit shonky.

Captain Ginyu: ...Are you done?

Vegeta: (Panting)

Vegeta: ...yeah.

Captain Ginyu: Very good. Now to cut straight to the point, I want those two Dragon Balls you have there.

Guldo: Oh, so *that's* a Dragon Ball.

Captain Ginyu: Supposedly, there are seven in total if my report is correct, and the other five are...

Krillin: Right-behind-you!

Vegeta: My *God*, man, you just *cannot*--

Krillin: Shut-up-when-I'm-scared-I-know.

Krillin: I-once-had-a-crush-on-a-little-Indian-boy-that-I-thought-was-a-girl.

Vegeta: Please kill him. Seriously, he won't be missed.

Captain Ginyu: Well, I do believe that accounts for everything.

Vegeta: Baldie! Break the ball!

Krillin: What-the-I--

Vegeta: Punch the damn thing!

Krillin: RRRAAAHHH!

Krillin: OW, my hand!

Vegeta: Hit it harder!

Krillin: But I--

Vegeta: HARDER!

Krillin: YAAAAAH!

Recoome: Uh, Guldo, don't you think you should...

Guldo: Oh-oh right, that thing I do... stopping time, yeah.

Vegeta: Break it or I'll break you!

Guldo: One sec...

Krillin: WAAAHHH--!

Krillin: What-I...?

Vegeta: What? Where did it go?!

Guldo: See this, Vegeta? This is for all the time you used to embarrass me!

Guldo: Hey Vegeta, how's it going?

Vegeta: Aw, look, it's Guldo!

Vegeta: You wanna biscuit, boy? You wanna biscuit?!

Guldo: Do you think I'm a dog?

Vegeta: Have a biscuit!

Guldo: (Growling)

Guldo: And now, it'll be *you* who rolls over and plays dea--!

Guldo: (Growling)

Captain Ginyu: Alright, everyone settle down. Before I take these Dragon Balls to Lord Freeza, it's time for everyone's favorite game!

Captain Ginyu: Now for the folks viewing at home, the rules are simple.

Captain Ginyu: One of my men will spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on - he kills!

Vegeta: What the...? When did you have time to set this up?

Vegeta: And... is that a camera?!

Vegeta: What kind of sadistic retard watches this crap?!

Freeza: Love this show.

Captain Ginyu: Alright - first contestant.

Guldo: Come on, Vegeta! Come ooon, Vegeta!

Guldo: Aaarrrgggh! Re-spin! Re-spin! Re-spin!

Recoome: Lucky little bastard got two of 'em.

Burter: Alright, let's give this sucker a spin!

Captain Ginyu: *Congratulations* - you've just won a free all-expense-paid trip to Space Australia!

Burter: Oh, you've got to be freaking kidding me.

Jeice: Oh hey, Space Oz! That's me home planet!

Krillin: Wait, hold on... you're from Australia?

Jeice: *Space* Australia. Or more specifially, Space Brisbane.

Jeice: Go Space Broncos!

Krillin: So... it's, like, Australia--

Jeice: In space!

Jeice: Gotta be careful though, Burter. Space Dingo will eat yer space baby... like me sister... poor Sheila--

Vegeta: Can we *please* get on with this?

Jeice: Oh, right. Let's have a go, then.

Jeice: Oh, *piss off*, you great bloomin' pinwheel!

Burter: Oh, great. That means Vegeta goes to--

Recoome: Yes! [To Guldo] In your face! [To Vegeta] Vegeta, your time is coming.

Recoome: Soon - you will face the End-All, the Be-All, the Plead-All: REEEEEEEEEECOOOOOMEuhh!!

Gohan: I swear I don't even know what's going on anymore.

Captain Ginyu: Alright gang, it's time for me to head off. Try not to mess up your uniforms and be back by 0500!

Ginyu Force: Yes, Captain!

Captain Ginyu: Ciao!

Krillin: So, uh... I guess we're fighting the little green guy over there?

Vegeta: Yeah, that's Guldo. Have fun with him.

Krillin: Any strategies?

Vegeta: Throw dog treats at him.

Krillin: How will that help?

Vegeta: I'll find it *hilarious*.

Krillin: Well come on, Gohan. We're strong enough to take this guy. Just keep your guard up.

Guldo: That's right - keep on your guard. Don't drop it... not even for an *instant*!

Guldo: ZA WARUDO!!

Krillin: What are you-- going on about--?

Guldo: You see that? That was just a taste of my power!

Guldo: Huh?

Krillin: Yahoow! What, the, hell was that?!

Guldo: That... was supposed to crush you.

Krillin: Gohan! Did you see it? His power... he can--

Gohan: Stop time?

Krillin: --summon steamrollers!

Gohan: Y--... you sure about that?

Krillin: Positive! Go for him!

Guldo: You fools! RAAAAAH!

Krillin: EEEEERGH!

Gohan: UHHHH!

Guldo: (Creepy laughter)

Guldo: My psychic powers are unrivaled in all the galaxy!

Guldo: You stood there and *mocked* me... the whole *world* stood there and mocked me!

Guldo: But now, you find yourselves slaves to my whim!

Guldo: Feel the earth fall out from under you, your world *shatter*!

Guldo: AS I... AM... YOUR--

Guldo: ...why can't I feel my everything?

Guldo: Oh...

Guldo: 'This is the end of the road... the end for me... I... I wonder... will I dream?'

Guldo: I f**king hate you.

Vegeta: I know.

Vegeta: Son of a gum-chewing funk-monster!

Vegeta: Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me?!

Vegeta: Forget my life!

Vegeta: Always surrounded by miserable failing clods!

Vegeta: Like this whole world just likes to *bend* me over and FIND ME IN THE ALPS!

Vegeta: Like I'm some sort of shlock receptacle!

Vegeta: Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue with a goddamn pig!!