“Kill It Like the Rest”

Villager 1: ...And that's the story of the great drought.

Villager 2: Hey, look! A visitor!

Villager 3: Oh, boy! We love visitors!

Village Elder: Now now, don't crowd the young man.

Village Elder: Why, hello good fellow. Welcome to our fine village.

Village Elder: You look like you're not from around here.

Village Elder: You have to be careful. Word through the grapevine has it that some unruly characters have been going around and attacking our villages.

Village Elder: By the way, would you like to see our Dragon Ball?

Village Elder: It's our prized possession; sacred on this planet.

Village Elder: So, what brings you to our village?

Vegeta: Life sure has a way of working itself out.

Vegeta: I find Cui, I kill Cui.

Vegeta: I find Dodoria, I kill Dodoria.

Vegeta: I find this Dragon Ball, I *take* this Dragon Ball.

Vegeta: Let's see what else I can find...

Krillin: Sweet crap! Did you feel that, Gohan?!

Gohan: Uh, yeah, but, maybe we shouldn't--

Krillin: Man, Vegeta just ENDED that village!

Gohan: Krillin, seriously, you--

Krillin: I don't think he even needed to kill them either. They didn't even put up a fight!

Gohan: Krillin!

Krillin: What? I--

Krillin: Oh, cripes. Umm...

Krillin: Hey, listen...

Krillin: They may be dead now... but they've all gone to a better place.

Krillin: Heaven - where everyone has their own little house and everything is wonderful and we all get along and there's puppies and kitties and--

Dende: This sounds totally asinine.

Krillin: It totally is.

Gohan: Hey, guys - I think I might have an idea.

Gohan: Freeza and Vegeta need all seven Dragon Balls, right?

Gohan: So, what if we just found one and hid it away?

Gohan: Then neither of them can make their wish.

Krillin: Hey, good idea. But we also need someone who can help us out.

Krillin: Little Green.

Dende: Dende.

Krillin: Do you know anyone on this planet who might be able to do that?

Dende: I know of one... person.

Dende: He is called the leader of our people; the eldest Namek.

Dende: It is said long ago, when our planet faced a great drought, he led our people through the peril.

Dende: It is said that it was terrifying.

Gohan: The drought?

Dende: No.

Krillin: Well, Gohan - looks like this is our only choice.

Krillin: Stay here and protect Bulma.

Bulma: Oh, now you care.

Krillin: I'm gonna follow Little Green to meet this "Eldest Namek" guy.

Krillin: He sounds like he's our last hope.

Dende: Please do not make jokes.

Zarbon: Freeza seems increasingly frustrated. I'd best find Vegeta quickly.

Freeza: You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think my people don't understand what I pay them for.

Zarbon: You don't pay us.

Freeza: Allow them to *live* for.

Freeza: I mean first, we lose... what was his name?

Zarbon: Kiwi?

Freeza: Oh, Kiwi.

Freeza: Then we lose all of our Scouters, and now Dodoria's dead?

Freeza: I'm sorry, but if this s**t goes any further south, we're going to hit Space Mexico.

Zarbon: What would you want me to do, Lord Freeza?

Freeza: Well, what I want *you* to do, is: * Pull up your frilly stockings * Tighten your thong * And stop being *such a*--

Vegeta: PANSY!

Zarbon: What?!

Zarbon: Uhh!

Zarbon: Vegeta!

Zarbon: How *dare* you ram into me when I'm thinking about Lord Freeza and my thong!

Vegeta: Yeah, just going to ignore that one entirely.

Zarbon: But, it is a good thing I found you, Vegeta.

Zarbon: Now, are you going to come quietly, or do I have to make you scream?

Vegeta: Oh, you mean like Dodoria?

Zarbon: Oh, please. Never send a woman to do a man's job.

Vegeta: URHG!

Vegeta: RARGH!

Vegeta: GAH!

Zarbon: Where is he?

Vegeta: GAH!

Zarbon: Uuu-huu...!

Vegeta: Face-down with another man beating your ass. Is it Wednesday already, Zarbon?

Zarbon: Very cute, Vegeta. But you have no idea what you're getting into.

Vegeta: HA! You have got to be kidding me!

Vegeta: I may have lost to those fools on Earth, but since I got here, I've done nothing but slaughter you cretins!

Vegeta: First Cui, then Dodoria.

Vegeta: I'm 2 for 3, and I'm back on top.

Zarbon: Well Vegeta, I hope you've enjoyed being on top...

Zarbon: because I'm about to put you back on the bottom, where you belong.

Zarbon: You see, I've been hiding another side of myself.

Vegeta: Where? In the closet?

Zarbon: Now prepare yourself, for the beast within!

Zarbon: I should warn you, though: This form is entirely different from me in every way.

Zarbon: HUUHG! HURHG! RWAARGH!

Zarbon: I'MA RAPE YA, BITCH!!

Vegeta: To be perfectly honest, you're not that different;

Vegeta: you're just a lot less subtleaboutit--

Vegeta: OHMYGOD!!

Vegeta: Urgh! Arrgh!

Vegeta: (More pained grunts)

Vegeta: Of...!

Vegeta: Poit...!

Vegeta: Zort...! D'apples...!

Krillin: Huh...

Krillin: Hey, Little Green, do you believe in karma?

Dende: What is that?

Krillin: Well, you see... Karma is, where if you do something *good*...

Vegeta: URGHH...!

Krillin: something good happens to *you*.

Krillin: And if you do something *bad*...

Vegeta: GAAH...!

Krillin: something *bad* happens to you.

Dende: So, if I am good enough... then I can have my family back?

Krillin: Are you still on about that?

Vegeta: No! No! No! No! No!

Vegeta: NOOOOOOOO--!!!

Zarbon: AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT.

Zarbon: ROOARGH!

Zarbon: I'd best hurry back to Lord Freeza. If I take too long, he'll really lay into me.

Vegeta: (Gasp!)

Vegeta: (Breathing hard)

Vegeta: Why did I explode...?

Dende: That is it up ahead.

Krillin: So that's where yours lives, huh? On Earth, our old Namek lives in a floating castle.

Dende: You have one as well?

Krillin: Well, he died, but yeah.

Dende: This does not bode well.

Nail: [Speaking Klingon (Namekian)]

Dende: [Speaking Klingon (Namekian)]

Krillin: You have such a beautiful language.

Nail: ...English.

Krillin: Aww, so you made a friend, Little Green?

Krillin: Oh, I know - I'm gonna call you Big Green.

Nail: Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.

Krillin: ...With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.

Nail: Listen - I don't care where you come from or who you are; I will not put up with such disrespect--!

Guru: BIG GREEEEN!

Guru: GET IN HERE.

Nail: Oh, G-God dammit...

Nail: Uh, actually sir, I think he has business here about those people attacking our planet?

Krillin: Yeah.

Krillin: We came here looking for help, and I see you have a Dragon Ball up there.

Krillin: Well, WE'RE going to make sure that they don't steal it.

Guru: AND HOW IS THAT?

Krillin: I'm gonna take it.

Nail: Learn your place, Earthling! You have some nerve demanding the Dragon Ball for--

Guru: HERE, TAKE IT.

Nail: I...

Nail: What?

Guru: JUST DON'T STEAL THE TV.

Nail: Sir, we... (Sigh), we don't have a television.

Guru: NAIL, GATHER THE REST OF THE DRAGON BALLS AND WISH FOR A PLASMA TV.

Nail: Lord Guru, that would be a grievous misuse of their powers.

Guru: I'M ABOUT TO MISUSE MY HAND UPSIDE YOUR HEAD!

Krillin: So, I can just take this and go?

Guru: WAIT.

Guru: THERE IS SOMETHING I MUST FIRST DO.

Nail: You don't mean...

Guru: YES.

Guru: I SEE SOMETHING WITHIN THIS YOUNG MAN... STRENGTH YET UNTAPPED, POWER YET UNLEASHED.

Guru: NOW, HOLD STILL, AS I UNLEASH THE VALLEY OF STRENGTH HIDDEN DEEP WITHIN!

Guru: THERE.

Guru: I HAVE UNLOCKED YOUR POTENTIAL.

Krillin: I don't feel that different.

Guru: IT WASN'T THAT MUCH.

Krillin: Huh...

Krillin: So, this is my full potential?

Guru: YES.

Krillin: So... then it's--

Guru: ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE...

Krillin: Like Yamcha...

Guru: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THIS "YAMCHA" IS,

Guru: BUT IT SOUNDS DISAPPOINTING.

Krillin: Well, I'd better get this Dragon Ball back to Gohan.

Krillin: Once we find them all, we can wish back *our* old Namekian.

Guru: WAIT.

Guru: You said that you were from Earth, correct?

Krillin: Yeah.

Guru: SO, THE SON OF KATAS HAS PASSED.

Guru: UNFORTUNATE.

Krillin: We just called him "Kami".

Guru: OH, SO HE CALLS HIMSELF GOD.

Guru: PRETENTIOUS PRICK!

Guru: NAIL!

Nail: What?

Guru: I SHALL HENCEFORTH BE KNOWN AS: SUPER KAMI.

Nail: Yes, Super Kami.

Guru: NO, WAIT...

Guru: SUPER KAMI GURU.

Nail: Can I just call you Guru for short?

Guru: SUPER KAMI GURU ALLOWS THIS.

Krillin: Well, I'd better hurry up.

Krillin: See you later, Little Green, and thanks for the Dragon Ball.

Guru: NAIL.

Guru: PREPARE TO RETRIEVE THE DRAGONBALL.

Guru: ...AND THE BODY.

Zarbon: Lord Freeza, the dirty deed has been done.

Freeza: Ah, very good. It's nice to see there's still somebody I can rely on.

Zarbon: Oh, he barely put up a fight after I transformed.

Zarbon: Now that he's dead, we have very little left to worry about.

Freeza: Zarbon, about an hour ago, a scout informed me that an entire village was *completely destroyed*.

Freeza: Do you possibly know who could have done that?

Zarbon: Ve... Vegeta.

Freeza: *And*, unlike the villages we visited so far, there was *no* Dragon Ball there.

Freeza: Do you know who could have possibly taken it?

Zarbon: Vegeta.

Freeza: Verrry good; now, use your brain for this one, Zarbon: If somebody were to know *where* that Dragon Ball was... who would it be?

Zarbon: Vegeta--

Freeza: Vegeta, yes.

Freeza: And you said you killed him...?

Zarbon: Wait, sir! It is possible I just left him unconscious.

Freeza: Oh, good...

Freeza: and where did you leave him?

Zarbon: At the bottom of a lake...

Freeza: Minion 43, would you come in here for a second?

Freeza: I need an example.

Minion 43: Private Namole, reporting! An example of what, Lord Freez--

Minion 43: AAHHH-AAGHH...!!

Freeza: You see that, Zarbon?

Freeza: That's *you* if Vegeta is not in front of me in the next *10 minutes*.

Zarbon: Uh... uuuhhh, huhh...!

Freeza: Bye.

Zarbon: AAAAAAAHHHH!