“His Name Was CHIAOTZU!”

Mr. Kent: [TV] And there you have it, folks.

Mr. Kent: That man is dead. Very, very dead.

Jimmy: [TV] Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?

Mr. Kent: [TV] "Cadaverific!"

Bulma: (Crying)

Bulma: Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him!

Bulma: (Crying)

Roshi: ...Bulls**t!

Krillin: Yamcha...

Krillin: Yamcha!

Krillin: Yamcha was our friend... and you bastards killed him!

Krillin: Don’t worry, Yamcha... I’ll avenge you!

Piccolo: Oh, right. *You're* going to avenge him.

Piccolo: The FIVE-YEAR-OLD over here is stronger than you are.

Krillin: But I--

Piccolo: Face it, you’re pretty much here as a meat shield.

Nappa: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He’s like the *Raditz* of their group.

Krillin: That's it!

Krillin: I can’t take it anymore!

Krillin: I can only be pushed so far!

Krillin: KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!!

Krillin: (Panting)

Krillin: That was... for Yamcha.

Vegeta: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.

Krillin: That’s right! What now, you son of a bi--?!

Vegeta: Nappa here is worth FIVE Raditz...

Krillin: I, uh...

Krillin: what?

Vegeta: ...and I am worth *fifteen* Raditz.

Krillin: I...

Krillin: Awww...

Nappa: Aw, come on, don’t get so down on yourself.

Nappa: At least you’ve proven that YOUR Raditz is *still* stronger than our Raditz.

Raditz: I... hate... *all* of you!

Vegeta: So in short - good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.

Gohan: Aaah!

Piccolo: Yeah, no.

Piccolo: Hargh!

Piccolo: Argh!

Piccolo: HARGH!

Gohan: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!

Tien: Yeah! Way to go!

Krillin: But, what about--?

Piccolo: Well, we can all learn a thing or two.

Krillin: But I just killed three of them--!

Chiaotzu: Nobody cares, Krillin!

Krillin: Aww...

Vegeta: Well, Nappa - looks like it’s your turn to teach them a lesson.

Nappa: Yeah, right outta Saiyan University!

Vegeta: Hold on, you went to college?

Nappa: Yup.

Vegeta: *What the hell* could someone like you possibly major in?

Nappa: Child Psychology...

Gohan: Wow! That sounds really interest--!

Nappa: ...*with a minor in Pain*!

Tien: Uhuh...?!

Nappa: Hurrrr...

Tien: GAUGH!

Nappa: RAAGH!

Tien: *YAAAAAAAUGHAAAAAAAH*!!

Tien: Haaaagh...!

Vegeta: Looks like he’s been... *disarmed*!

Tien: HURAAARGH!!

Nappa: I get it!

Vegeta: Shut it, Nappa.

Tien: Guh!

Nappa: Oh, I LOVE this game!

Nappa: Tag!

Tien: Guahg!

Tien: Huagh!

Nappa: No tagbacks.

Tien: 'Agh, damn. This guy’s strong.'

Tien: 'Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and...'

Tien: 'Wait, where is he??'

Nappa: Vegeta! The Pokémon’s on my back.

Tien: Chiaotzu! No!!

Nappa: I can’t get it off, Vegeta!

Nappa: Here! I’ll use Rock Smash.

Chiaotzu: UU-HU!

Tien: Chiaotzu! You get down from there this instant!

Chiaotzu: [telepathically] No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan!

Chiaotzu: For all the people of Earth! Our friends! And especially you!

Tien: But Chiaotzu...!

Chiaotzu: [t] Don’t worry! You can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls!

Chiaotzu: Now goodbye, my friend!

Tien: That won’t work, Chiaotzu!!

Tien: We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls! We can’t do it twice!

Chiaotzu: [t] ...Wait, wha--?

Tien: (Gasping)

Tien: No! NO! Chiaotzu!

Tien: CHIAOTZUUUU!!

Krillin: Oh, my God...

Krillin: He blew into more pieces than Yamcha!

Tien: Krillin!

Krillin: What?

Tien: He was my closest friend!

Tien: I...

Tien: I loved him.

Krillin: As a memorial to Yamcha... ”gay”.

Tien: 'At least your sacrifice wasn’t in vain, my friend.'

Nappa: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Self Destruct.

Nappa: I hate it when they do that.

Tien: DAMMIT!

Nappa: Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it?

Nappa: The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication.

Tien: FFRAAAAAAAGH!!

Nappa: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to VEGETA!!

Tien: GAAGH!!

Tien: Uagh!

Tien: Ugh!

Gohan: Should... Shouldn’t we help him?

Piccolo: Can’t you see - he has to fight this battle on his own.

Piccolo: He’s fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.

Tien: HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!

Piccolo: Like a hero.

Gohan: Mr. Piccolo, help him!

Piccolo: Oh, fine!

Piccolo: Krillin! Go!

Nappa: FOR PONYYYY--!

Nappa: Uagh! He hit me!

Nappa: Gaha! He hit me too!

Piccolo: Gohan! Hurry up and blast him with all your strength... before he has time to DOOOOOODGE!

Piccolo: [Piccolo's echo (in Gohan's head)] 'DOOOOOODGE!'

Gohan: (Whimpering)

Gohan: (Shrieks)

Piccolo: Damn you, PAVLOV!!

News Reporter: [TV] For those of you who don’t know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain.

News Reporter: Back in 1904--

Oolong: Get back to the fight!

News Reporter: [TV] Aaand back to the fight.

Nappa: Hey, not gonna lie.

Nappa: Dick move, guys. Dick move.

Krillin: Piccolo... do you have a plan?

Piccolo: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?

Krillin: Any plans that don’t involve killing me?

Piccolo: Well, there is the Multi-Form technique.

Krillin: But doesn’t that cut our power levels by--?

Piccolo: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin?!

Krillin: Plan B! Plan B!

Piccolo: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!

Krillin: KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!

Nappa: Vegeta! I can’t... ”Believe it”.

Vegeta: (Groaning)

Piccolo: 'He’s dodging every hit! We can’t lay a FINGER on him!'

Piccolo: 'What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?'

Nappa: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s MAN!

Nappa: Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN!

Krillin: D'UGH!

Krillin: D'UH-HOUH!

Krillin: Ahuh-houww...

Piccolo: UGH-HOUGH!

Nappa: Good effort, but I’m the Patty Cake champion.

Piccolo: ...What?

Nappa: BUT, at least you didn’t uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon.

Tien: 'Right... right behind you, Chiaotzu.'

Tien: Guah!

Nappa: Ahaaaa... pointless.

Krillin: ...We’re gonna die, aren’t we?

Nappa: Yep!

Nappa: RAAAAAAAAAAAAGH--!

Nappa: Ah!

Nappa: Vegeta!

Vegeta: What?

Nappa: ...I can flyyyy...!

Vegeta: Are... are... ugh.

Vegeta: Yes, Nappa; yes you can.

Krillin: You know, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!

Vegeta: Who?

Krillin: Goku. He’s stronger than all of us combined!

Vegeta: Well then, I guess we’d better kill you before he gets here.

Krillin: W-Wait, I mean...

Nappa: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!

Vegeta: Nappa, just kill them first and--

Nappa: But I want him to SEE us kill them!

Vegeta: Oh God, there’s no arguing with you!

Vegeta: Fine! We’ll give you three hours tops.

Vegeta: After that, I’m killing all of you.

Nappa: Yaayyyyyyy!

Nappa: And now we wait...

Nappa: Is he here yet?

Piccolo: No.

Krillin: No.

Gohan: No.

Nappa: Is he here yet?

Piccolo: *No*.

Krillin: *No*.

Gohan: *No*.

Nappa: Is he here yet?

Piccolo: NO!

Krillin: NO!

Gohan: NO!

Nappa: Is he here yet?

Piccolo: NOO!!

Krillin: NOO!!

Gohan: NOO!!

Nappa: ...Is he here ye--?

Vegeta: *NOO*!!!

Piccolo: *NOO*!!!

Krillin: *NOO*!!!

Gohan: *NOO*!!!

Vegeta: Goddammit, Nappa! Just go do something!

Vegeta: Go have fun; I don’t care how.

Nappa: Oh, boy! This is gonna be my best... day... ever.

Nappa: ♪♪ Wheeeeee!

Nappa: ♪♪ Yay!

Nappa: ♪♪ Whoo! Hahaha!

Nappa: ♪♪ Wheee!

Nappa: ♪♪ Yayyy!

Nappa: ♪♪ Muhahahahaha!

Vegeta: Well, time’s up; time to die.

Piccolo: So, where’s your friend--?

Nappa: I’M-BACK!

Piccolo: GURHG!

Vegeta: Nappa, where did your armor go?

Nappa: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta.

Nappa: I sank their *battleship*... and their *whales*.

Aquaman: Nooooooooooooo...!