“Punched Me in the Dick”

Android 17: "-Folks I'm Android 13, look at mah trucker hat!"

Dr. Gero: I was going through a phase!

Android 18: Well, let's say we open them up and get to know our new friend?

Dr. Gero: Don't you dare!

Dr. Gero: I am your master and you will do what I say!

Android 17: I- I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Android 17: I think the ear thing's back.

Dr. Gero: I said, I am your master!

Dr. Gero: And you will do what I-

Android 17: Sorry, doc...

Dr. Gero: GUUAAGGH...!

Android 17: ...just following orders.

Dr. Gero: So... ...could one of you possibly spare one of those Senzu-

Krillin: So, does this mean they're on our side?

Trunks: YAAAAAGH!

Dr. Gero: Well, guess it's a good thing I backed myself up into this supercomputer.

Dr. Gero: Have to thank Wheelo for that.

Dr. Gero: Now, what to do with the twins going rogue...

Dr. Gero: How is progress with plan B?

Dr. Gero: That's another seventeen years out at least.

Dr. Gero: Well, guess it's time for plan C...

Chi-Chi: Touch those Thai silk curtains and I'll turn one of those hoop earrings into a septum ring!

Gohan: Wow. Mom sure is set on filling up Korin and Yajirobe's wedding registry.

Goku: But why do they need six crock pots?

Goku: And why all these (delicious-looking) bath bombs?

Goku: I don't even think they have a bathroom!

Goku: Korin always just told me to go over the side.

Android 15: Excuse me, pardon me, coming through, watch the suit.

Android 15: Man, everyone acting a fool... Like they've never seen a purple dwarf before.

Android 14: *static*

Android 15: I know, right?! Racist as shit.

Goku: Man, shopping makes me hungry!

Gohan: Really, shopping makes you hungry? Only shopping?

Goku: Mmhmm.

Goku: Speaking of, how'd your search go, guys?

Krillin: Not great. Turns out Master Roshi is banned from over five hundred Victoria's Secret locations.

Krillin: I don't get it, how are you not on some kind of a list?

Roshi: You think "Master Roshi" is my real name?

Gohan: Doesn't Victoria's Secret specialize in *women's* underwear?

Gohan: Why would Korin and Yajirobe- -Oh...ooooooh.

Gohan: But which one wears them?

Android 15: So whaddya think?

Android 14: *static*

Android 15: Nah.

Android 15: But we can.

Gohan: Hey, so, not to point out the obvious, but, the restaurant is shaking.

Goku: Huh? Ehh...

Gohan: Aww, crapbask-

Krillin: Aww, crapbask-

Trunks: Aww, crapbask-

Chi-Chi: Why can't we go anywhere as a group without something blowing up?

Goku: Probably not my fault this time, maybe...

Goku: Terrorists!

Goku: Wait, I can't sense them...

Goku: Androids!

Goku: Androiderists!

Goku: Terroroids!

Goku: Guys, we got a bad case of terroroids!

Gohan: C'mon, Mom!

Chi-Chi: No! One of the crock pots!

Goku: So, you guys aren't orgasmic...

Goku: Who are you? Red Ribbon?

Goku: I mean, you've got it on your red Red Ribbon ribbon... ...but, you know what they say about assuming: It makes an ass out of you and ming.

Android 15: Scan complete.

Android 15: This guy's dumb as bricks.

Goku: Say wha..?

Android 15: Oh right, your unrefined meatbag ears probably don't understand him.

Android 15: He's introducing himself as Android 14.

Android 15: I am Android 15.

Android 15: And you...are Goku.

Goku: AAAAAHHHH!

Android 15: And now you're dead!

Android 15: OK, *rude*!

Trunks: Goku! Move!

Goku: Oh, right.

Trunks: You know, maybe we shouldn't do this here.

Goku: OOH! OOH!

Goku: I know a place!

Gohan: Krillin, we should go after them!

Krillin: Should we?

Gohan: Yes!

Krillin: Okay, but MUST we?

Gohan: Well, you can come with me, or, you can stay here with my Mom.

Chi-Chi: AAAAAAAAAGH!

Krillin: We must! We must!

Dr. Gero: Update complete.

Dr. Gero: Now activating number 13...

Android 13: Mighty kind o' you, Doctor.

Dr. Gero: For crying out loud, we just finished patching that!

Android 13: Doc, you can't fix what ain't broke!

Android 13: Now...where's my trucker hat?

Trunks: No offense Goku, but... ...why the Arctic?

Goku: What? You're fine, you've got a jacket.

Trunks: Well yeah, but there are more deserts than we can count, and you chose the Arctic!

Goku: Uh, y-you got a jacket...

Android 15: My database says: You's a bitch!

Trunks: I doubt that's what it actually sa-AGH!

Goku: Trunks!

Goku: Your jacket is weighing you down!

Goku: Huh? Wah!

Trunks: Hey Goku, if and when we make it out of this, please don't tell my father there were two more Androids.

Android 13: Uh, to be fair, you'd'a been wrong anyway...'cause there's three!

Trunks: Aaaauugh!

Android 13: Howdy, there! I'm Android 13.

Android 13: Look at mah trucker hat.

Goku: Look-y Trunks! More 'roids.

Trunks: You're kidding me!

Trunks: Are there any more of you that we don't know about?

Android 13: Nah, just us... ...plus the green one in the sub-lab.

Trunks: Enough!

Trunks: I have had it with these monkey-fighting Androids, In this Monday-to-Friday timeline!

Trunks: AAAUUGH!

Android 13: Well son, looks like thirteen is your unlucky number.

Goku: I don't believe in stuperstitions!

Android 13: ...How in the blazes did Gero have so much trouble killing you?

Goku: I'm very stubborn.

Android 13: Hmm.

Goku: Oh hey, he's actually really strong.

Goku: WAAAHHH!

Goku: WAAAHHHHH

Android 13: Careful, son! You might catch a death of cold!

Goku: Catch *this* cold!

Android 13: My trucker hat!

Android 13: Ya plum done gone daggone did it now, son.

Goku: Who and the wha-

Goku: AAAAAHHHH!

Goku: (Ah.)

Goku: (Hope Trunks is having better luck.)

Trunks: HI-YAH!

Trunks: Aw, why did I even bring this?!

Trunks: (Wait, why DID I bring this?)

Trunks: (We were shopping before-)

Trunks: Augh!

Android 15: A'ight 14, give it back.

Trunks: [Startled squeal]

Android 13: Hmm.

Android 13: YAH!

Android 13: Ya can't dodge my T.H. Deathbomb!

Goku: Does the "T.H." stand for-

Android 13: TRUCKER HAT, yes!

Goku: Not my first guess.

Goku: WAUGH!

Dr. Gero: Yes! YES!

Dr. Gero: This is my moment!

Dr. Gero: Oh, what now!?

Dr. Gero: Wuh?

Vegeta: For thousands of years, I laid dormant!

Vegeta: WHO HAS DISTURBED MY-

Goku: Hey, best buddy!

Vegeta: Oh, it's you.

Vegeta: Explain, idiot.

Trunks: No no NO!

Goku: We found three more Androids.

Trunks: Da-a-mmit!

Vegeta: Three whole Androids, huh?

Vegeta: Pretty sure that makes *eight*.

Vegeta: Hmm, never letting the boy live this one down.

Android 13: Well, if it ain't the Prince!

Android 13: Good day, your Majesty!

Android 13: I'd tip my hat to ya, BUT I LOST IT!

Vegeta: Look, I'm a little late to the game here, what's your deal?

Android 13: See here, The kind Dr. Gero deemed us, in his own words, "Defective."

Android 13: Leaving us on the proverbial shelf until, well... ...he gone plum run outta options.

Goku: So, what's your detective?

Android 13: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones, my choice in vernacular, and my particular method of...ar-ti-cu-lation.

Goku: Also, you talk funny.

Goku: What 'bout him?

Vegeta: Alright, but what about the small one?

Vegeta: Is it 'cause he's purple?

Android 13: Okay, racist, if ya must know; it's 'cause he's got a drinking problem.

Android 15: Hey, it's only a problem when I run out!

Android 13: We don't like to talk about it.

Android 13: Now!

Android 13: I believe we have some business to attend to!

Android 13: Id Est, layin' three corpses upon this here glacier.

Android 13: 14!

Android 13: 15!

Android 15: You got it, boss man!

Android 15: You forget you saw this.

Android 13: Round two, Fleshlights™!

Trunks: [Grunts]

Krillin: So, we just needed to be here didn't we?

Gohan: Yeah, OK...

Krillin: Couldn't even stop for a jacket!

Krillin: Just had to *beeline* it for the Arctic.

Gohan: OK, Krillin, I get it! We're not helping.

Gohan: I just... ...needed some space from my Mom.

Krillin: Eh, it's all right.

Krillin: Wanna have a snowball fight?

Gohan: Probably not a good time...

Krillin: No, no, you-you're right.

Vegeta: AAAaaahhhh!

Vegeta: Ooophh!

Vegeta: HEY!

Vegeta: WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?!

Android 15: Yeah, OK.

Vegeta: YEEAAAAAAUUUUGHH.... ...YAAAAAAAUUUUGH!

Trunks: (Oh right.)

Trunks: (Super Saiyan.)

Trunks: AAAAAAUUUUUGH!

Goku: Oh, right... Super Saiyan.

Goku: GAAAAAUUGH!

Dr. Gero: Oh shit...Super Saiyan.

Dr. Gero: GAAAAAAAHHH!

Gohan: Uh, why did it take them so long to do that?

Krillin: You know, I stopped asking that question a long time ago.

Vegeta: So, are you ready to die, Android?

Vegeta: Are-

Vegeta: Are you-

Vegeta: Does that even do anything for you?

Android 15: Not anymore...

Vegeta: Oh, God!

Krillin: That's right Goku, send him back to Arkansas!

Android 13: It's pronounced "Ar-kansas", ya idjit.

Gohan: And consider my pet peeved!

Gohan: Piccolo, help!

Gohan: Holy cow, that worked!

Piccolo: For thousands of years, I laid dormant!

Piccolo: Who has disturbed my-

Piccolo: Oh hey, Goku, what's up?

Goku: Androids.

Piccolo: Neat! Mind if I take a spin?

Android 13: Ah Ah AH HOO HOOOOO!

Goku: Ah, 'cause you spun him around.

Android 13: Ow!

Goku: Clever.

Piccolo: Thanks, I was practicing that one under the ice for the last half-

Piccolo: You know what, never mind.

Android 13: Now, I don't mean to make this about your color or your race,

Android 13: but you'd better hightail it out of here before you get hurt, BOY.

Piccolo: You know, it feels like it's about *both* those things when you end it with the word "boy".

Android 15: C'mon short-stack. That the best you got?

Android 15: Ha haa! Super Saiyan or not, you're still just a-

Android 15: Bitch!

Android 15: Did you just throw a mothaf***in DO-

Vegeta: Looks like the countdown's just about over you redneck... uhhh...

Trunks: Hey guys! I did that thing again where I slice my opponent in two and they don't react until-

Vegeta: I did it first, you're not special!

Trunks: B-but you don't even have a sword...

Android 13: 14 and 15 have been destroyed?!

Android 13: Goooood!

Piccolo: I feel like we should be stopping this.

Goku: Nah, I want a good fight!

Krillin: He's 'roiding out!

Dr. Gero: Excellent.

Dr. Gero: Android 13 has reached his ultimate, final, pinnacle form!

Dr. Gero: Unstoppable!

Dr. Gero: Blue!

Dr. Gero: And completely taciturn.

Super Android 13: Hurrrgh!

Dr. Gero: Perfect!

Goku: Vegeta, he stole your 'do!

Vegeta: I'll kill him!

Vegeta: Ah!

Vegeta: Oh no...

Trunks: I got you fath-AAHH!

Vegeta: Hahahahahahaha.

Vegeta: Idiot.

Vegeta: Someone stupid get in my way!

Krillin: What the--?

Kami and Nail: BOOM-CHIKA-AH

Kami and Nail: BOOM-CHICKA-AH

Kami and Nail: BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM

Kami and Nail: GREEN D-

Piccolo: (What are you doing?)

Kami: (We're trying to amp you up!)

Piccolo: (Well, it's distracting!)

Everyone: (Oh shit mothaf*cka!)

Goku: My turn!

Dr. Gero: Weakness... identified!

Super Android 13: Hurrgh!

Goku: Hey, what are ya-

Goku: -AGH!! [fading echo]

Gohan: All right, Goten, it's your job to chuck these as hard as you can so I can be all trained up to face off against Dad in the tournament!

Gohan: Now stand behind that line and-

Gohan: Goten?

Gohan: (What was I doing here?)

Goku: AAAAAAAAUGH-

Goku: N-now I know what you're thinki-

Goku: AUUUGH!

Goku: And the answer may surpri-

Goku: (Aw man...)

Goku: EEEEEEE!

Gohan: Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

Gohan: Ehhh... well, clearly not me.

Gohan: (Welp, if you can't beat 'em...)

Gohan: (Bomb 'em.)

Gohan: Eh, maybe one of those battleball players?

Gohan: I mean, not that I watch sports, I have better things to do with my life.

Gohan: I feel like this is a one-sided conversation.

Dr. Gero: 13, if you'd kindly turn around ,and eliminate Son Goku...

Super Android 13: RRRAUGH!

Gohan: Dad, no!

Gohan: BBLUUAUUGH!

Goku: Good job, son!

Dr. Gero: Hmm, unexpected, but not altogether unpleasant.

Dr. Gero: Let's try again shall w-?

Goku: Ow!

Vegeta: Nobody is killing that idiot but me!

Goku: Aw, you *do* care.

Dr. Gero: Agh, fine, finish off Vegeta, Then Son Goku.

Narrator: And that's when the Prince realized that when you grab a bull by the horns, sometimes, he'll take you for a ride.

Goku: Keep it up guys! You're doing great!

Dr. Gero: Yes, good, now hurry up and get back to So-

Dr. Gero: Oh my non-existent God!

Trunks: Hey! You big blue bastard!

Trunks: I'm a time traveler from 17 years in the future.

Trunks: And you don't exist there. You know why?

Trunks: Well, besides multiverse theory, it's because you die, right here, by my sword!

Narrator: And that's when the Time Traveler realized that his sword was about as useless... ...as a screen door on a submarine.

Dr. Gero: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So--n of a whore!

Narrator: And that's when the Green Man realized that when you suplex a robot, you better...

Narrator: Oh, what the hell am I doing?

Super Android 13: BWUU YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO YOO RAWHARAA!

Krillin: Oh right.. Spirit Saiyan...

Krillin: What?

Dr. Gero: Kill Son Goku! Kill Son Goku!

Dr. Gero: Kill Son Goku before it's too late!

Dr. Gero: Oh, this bodes poorly...

Dr. Gero: Jesus Christ!!!!!!!

Narrator: And that's when the robot realized that he was as dead as a... Robot.

Narrator: Because robots are technically not alive by the traditional definition of-

Narrator: D'these people even give a damn anymore?

Narrator: I swear they stopped tryin' after Season 2.

Roshi: Heeellloooo nurse!

Krillin: Man, catching Vegeta really f***ed my shit up!

Krillin: How about you, Goku?

Krillin: You seem fine.

Goku: Yup! Senzu beans healed my nuts up good!

Chi-Chi: Thank God.

Krillin: Hey hey, that's great! So, you got any to share?

Goku: I kinda needed a few...

Trunks: I'm glad you're all fine, but it does concern me that there are apparently more Androids out there.

Krillin: Actually, I had a thought about that.

Dr. Gero: Well, that was a total bust.

Dr. Gero: I suppose I'll just continue nursing plan B.

Dr. Gero: What's another 17 years? I'm not going anywhere.

Dr. Gero: Wait, what is that noi-

Krillin: Wow! Danger Will Robinson.

Dr. Gero: Oh, *no*...!

Piccolo: Is it over?

Vegeta: Not 'til the fish jumps.

Piccolo: Soo... ...what were you doing in the Arctic?

Vegeta: What were YOU doing in the Arctic?

Piccolo: I don't have a place to live, what's your excuse?

Vegeta: Look Green Man, if you must know, I was just trying to find a place where I can be alone for a little bit and have some "me time."

Vegeta: Turns out, the Arctic wasn't the best solution.

Piccolo: Yeah, it would, uh, seem that way.

Vegeta: Yeah, yeah, it would.

Piccolo: So what do you do for fu-?

Fish: FIN!

Piccolo: Oh, I get it.

Vegeta: It's 'cause he's a fish.

Android 13: Well now, that sure was a doozy of a movie.

Android 13: If y'all enjoyed, Maybe, consider likin' and subscribin' if you want to watch something else by these folks.

Android 13: Check out their gaming channel or maybe their Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged.

Android 13: Or, if you're interested in the voice of yours truly...

Ricepirate: You can check out my YouTube channel "ricepirate newgrounds", or honestly just look up "ricepirate" it's easier that way, or you can always scream at my face over twitter @Ricepiratemick

Ricepirate: Hey, thanks for watching and be sure to click around to get your fill of Team Four Star.

Ricepirate: I know I am. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)