“Off and On Again”

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'So I'm a hair's breadth from perfection, and then *Triclops* shows up and decides: "I'm just gonna turn triangles into f**kin' squares!"'

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'Then *Goku* shows up; apparently he can *teleport*! Gotta look into THAT later!'

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'But at the very top of this long list of stupid questions, is:'

Semi-Perfect Cell: WHERE! ARE! YOU! EIGHTEEN...?!

Android 18: We got lucky. With all these islands, it'll be tough for him to find us.

Android 16: Technically, it's an archipelago.

Android 16: "Noun; A *group* of islands."

Android 18: Thank you, Sixteen.

Android 16: You are welcome.

Android 18: Well, we could sneak away if we could get underwater.

Android 18: Sixteen, are you waterproof?

Android 16: I was.

Android 18: Shit.

Android 18: Then all we can do is wait and hope he just moves on.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Do you understand what we could be together!?

Semi-Perfect Cell: We could be perfect!

Tom: Dude! I know you're having issues with your girl... trust me, I get it, but you're makin' a scene, man!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Can I help you, uhhh...?

Tom: My name's Tom!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh, well hi, Tom! I'll try to make less of a scene while I liquefy your insides and *proceed to drink you*!

Tom: Hey! No need to be hostile, man!

Sally: Do you people mind!? My child is trying to nap!

Tom: I'm just trying to help this guy out with his lady problems.

Semi-Perfect Cell: I don't need your help, Tom!

Semi-Perfect Cell: But, *thank you*...?!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Rerrgh...!

Sally: Well, now you've done it!

Korin: Hm?

Korin: Oh, it's Bulma!

Korin: Hey, Bulma! Did you bring back Yajiro-- OOOOFFfff course you didn't!

Korin: Guhhooooh...

Korin: I miss my Bean Daddy...

Bulma: Huh. So it does just kinda float there.

Bulma: Hey! Anyone here?

Gohan: Bulma!

Goku: Hey, Bulma!

Bulma: Hey, guys!

Bulma: Huh?

Bulma: Oh my gosh, Trunks!

Bulma: Your hair! It looks good...

Bulma: Eh-- platonically of course.

Trunks: It's okay, Mom. I literally just spent a year with Dad in the Time Chamber. I'm over it.

Bulma: Wait - you spent an entire year with Vegeta!?

Bulma: Even I haven't managed that.

Trunks: Wouldn't recommend it. All he does is scream at you.

Bulma: Yeah, he does.

Bulma: Speaking of, how about you? Why didn't your hair grow?

Vegeta: Because unlike a half-breed, a pure-blooded Saiyan's hair does not change from the day we are born.

Vegeta: With the exceptions of beards, and moustaches.

Goku: Boy... now I can't stop thinkin' about Vegeta with a mustache.

Vegeta: "Moustaaaache."

Goku: Hee...

Bulma: Oh, before I forget...

Bulma: I brought you guys some armor for your fight against the Androids!

Vegeta: This is easily the greatest thing you've ever produced.

Baby Trunks: Gaoo, gaaaoou!

Vegeta: Yes, even you!

Baby Trunks: Aaaoouh.

Bulma: Aren't you guys going to try them on too?

Piccolo: No.

Tien: No.

Bulma: Any reason?

Piccolo: No.

Tien: No.

Goku: Hey look, Vegeta! I'm you!

Goku: Paragon 'til death!

Vegeta: ...You ruined it.

Vegeta: You ruined it and I'm leaving.

Goku: You want I should teleport you, buddy?

Vegeta: I hate you.

Trunks: I should follow him.

Goku: Oh! Before you go... you'll probably want these... just in case.

Trunks: Thanks, but hopefully we won't need them.

Goku: Yeah, but...

Goku: Vegeta.

Trunks: Father.

Bulma: You should really hurry up. Said father has a head start on you.

Trunks: Yeah... and who knows what atrocities Cell is committing as we speak...

Sally: My husband and I go to couple's counseling every Tuesday, and it's really helped us!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Yes, and I'm echappy to hear that, Sally; but my situation isn't exactly--

Tom: Bro, if you love something, you have *got* to set it free!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Okay, that's- that's not--

Richard: You can't be so clingy! It's kinda creepy.

Semi-Perfect Cell: But it's--

Sally: Do you think it's inadequacies in the bedroom?

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'And we're done.'

Semi-Perfect Cell: EIGHTEEN! You have until the count of *five*!

Semi-Perfect Cell: Show yourself now, or I'm wiping out these islands one by one until I find you!

Harry: Don't you think that's a little extreme?!

Semi-Perfect Cell: You're not involved in this anymore, Harry!

Harry: I think I'm pretty involved!

Semi-Perfect Cell: FIVE!

Android 18: This is bad. This is *really* bad!

Semi-Perfect Cell: FOUR!

Android 16: Do not fret.

Android 16: You are too valuable.

Semi-Perfect Cell: THREE!

Android 16: He would not risk destroying you.

Android 18: And you're sure about that??

Semi-Perfect Cell: TWO!

Android 16: Trust me.

Semi-Perfect Cell: *ONE*.

Richard: Can we please go back to TALKING ABOUT THIS?!

Android 18: You were saying, exactly!?

Android 16: This is a fluffy bird.

Android 18: Yeah. Guess that one's on me.

Mr. Popo: Alright! You maggots ready yet?

Goku: Yup! Sorry for the wait.

Gohan: I can't believe you wasted half an hour on eating.

Gohan: There's food inside!

Goku: Oh, come on, Gohan; what's half an hour?

Gohan: 7.6 days.

Goku: (Gasp) But that's half a fortnight!

Mr. Popo: Okay, I'm done with this. You get in.

Goku: Welp! Here we are.

Goku: You know... it's awfully nice of you to come join me, Gohan.

Gohan: I... never really had a choice. You basically kidnapped me.

Goku: Oh, come on, Gohan! You can't kidnap your own kid.

Gohan: I dunno if that's true. I'll have to read up on that.

Goku: Sorry Gohan, no books here! Or internet.

Goku: Only this room... and the void.

Gohan: Uh... does it do that all the time?

Goku: Oh, yeah. But only if you say the word "void".

Gohan: Okay, well, we're gonna avoid that word for now--

Gohan: Why!?

Goku: Alright, Gohan. First thing we're gonna do, is focus on getting you Super Saiyan!

Goku: Now, it won't be easy, because Krillin's not here to die for you.

Goku: But I think with some crunches, pull-ups, and plenty of milk... You'll find your way!

Gohan: Oh...

Gohan: Well, if you really believe in me--

Goku: Also, we're gonna fight!

Goku: ...A lot.

Gohan: ...I need an adult.

Goku: I am an adult--

Gohan: No. No, you are not.

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'That's the last island.'

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'She's either there... or I've killed her.'

Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh well, in for a penny.

Android 18: Uhn!

Semi-Perfect Cell: (Laughing)

Semi-Perfect Cell: Uh!?

Vegeta: Ah, warming up by destroying some islands, huh?

Vegeta: I can dig that. More of a *planet* guy, myself.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Ugh, people all day today.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Hello, Vegeta.

Vegeta: Hello, *ugly*.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Ugh... now we're doing this.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Okay.

Android 18: Wait, is that... *Vegeta*!?

Android 18: Well, bright side: we get to watch Vegeta bite it first.

Android 16: That bird has very sharp hair.

Semi-Perfect Cell: So, can I help you?

Semi-Perfect Cell: 'Cause if you're looking for another broken arm, you can always help me find Android 18.

Vegeta: No, I just heard how ugly you were and I *had* to see it for myself.

Trunks: Also... I'm here.

Semi-Perfect Cell: And that explains the bravado.

Semi-Perfect Cell: You brought Junior!

Vegeta: Nope! He's only here because he'd cry otherwise.

Vegeta: Because he's a *child*.

Vegeta: ...Also, you're ugly.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Riveting.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Listen, Vegeta, I'm in the middle of something more important than whatever "this" is.

Semi-Perfect Cell: So if you just want to run along and bring back someone substantial, say...

Semi-Perfect Cell: I dunno...

Semi-Perfect Cell: Goku?

Semi-Perfect Cell: That'd be greeaaaaat.

Vegeta: (Breathes deeply)

Vegeta: (Screaming)

Semi-Perfect Cell: Aw, what's wrong, Prince? Did I touch a *nerve*?

Trunks: You pressed the Goku button.

Semi-Perfect Cell: Excuse me, the what--

Semi-Perfect Cell: (Groans in pain)

Vegeta: Ya shouldn't'a did that.