“I Don't Listen to Bastards”

Baby Trunks: (Crying)

Bulma: Ugh... oh wow... pretty sure I was about to be a wish there.

Bulma: OH GOD THE BABY!!

Bulma: Uhh, there you are.

Bulma: Aww, don't worry, Trunkie! It was just an explosion!

Bulma: You'll get used to those. Those happen a lot around Mommy.

Trunks: I could have sworn I saw somebody else in the car with you.

Bulma: Hmm?

Yajirobe: "Hey, Yajirobe!"

Yajirobe: "What is it, Korin?"

Yajirobe: "Why don't you go help out the gang?"

Yajirobe: "Oh sure, Korin. Why not? What's the worst that could happen?"

Yajirobe: ...I got a rock up my butt.

Vegeta: Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! He got away AGAIN!?

Vegeta: And not a nut, or bolt to be found!

Vegeta: NOT THAT YOU HAD ANY NUTS TO BEGIN WITH!

Trunks: Hurrh!

Trunks: Look. I don't mean to tell you how to be a father, but why didn't you try and save your wife and son?

Vegeta: My what and my son?

Trunks: Wait! You mean you two never got married?

Vegeta: What is that? Some kind of food?

Trunks: No, just... listen. When two people love each other--

Vegeta: Oh wow, I'm just f***ing with you. My God. Who doesn't know what marriage is?

Vegeta: Also - love each other? Making a lot of assumptions here.

Trunks: Grrrh...!

Bulma: Soo... I thought you guys were fighting Androids.

Bulma: Why was Dr. Gero here?

Krillin: ...Who dat?

Bulma: Scientist, worked for the Red Ribbon Army... adequate with robotics.

Krillin: Ohhhh!

Krillin: Hey, Mr. Can't Say! You may want to hear this!

Vegeta: *You f***ing failure*!

Trunks: Hold on a second! I--

Vegeta: You told us: Two Androids, May 12th, 10:00 AM, South City!

Trunks: Well, nine miles off o--

Vegeta: And what happens?

Vegeta: We waste our time on the WRONG F***ING ANDROIDS!

Trunks: Look! I was... uh, how old is that baby?

Bulma: 'Bout ten months.

Trunks: Ten months old at the time!

Vegeta: How 'bout next time you come back to give someone a heads-up, YOU GIVE 'EM A GODDAMN PHOTO!

Trunks: Just listen!

Trunks: I think travelling back in time may have caused a butterfly effect. The Androids that kill you in the future could still appear!

Vegeta: I don't give a shit about butterflies!

Vegeta: With all this time we've wasted, *Dr. Gero*~ has probably made it back to his lab already!

Vegeta: And God only knows where that is.

Bulma: I know where that is.

Vegeta: You do?

Trunks: You do!?

Trunks: Why didn't you tell me!?

Bulma: Because this never came up before!

Trunks: No, I meant... in the future--

Trunks: ...nevermind. How do you know?

Bulma: All scientists know where other scientist's labs are!

Bulma: Dr. Frappe, Dr. Wheelo...

Trunks: Who?

Bulma: Long story.

Bulma: Last time I checked, Gero had a secret lab right outside North City.

Vegeta: Well, then it's time for Round goddamn Two!

Trunks: Wait!

Piccolo: Gohan...

Gohan: Yeah?

Piccolo: ...You're a good kid.

Gohan: Oh! Thanks...?

Trunks: No! We have to stop him!

Trunks: DAD! Wait!

Bulma: Wait, "Dad"??

Piccolo: Oh yeah, by the way, that kid's your son.

Piccolo: No harm telling you now; damage already done.

Bulma: Oh, wow! He grows up to be a cutie! And... Oh my God, I solicited my son for sex...

Krillin: Hu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Krillin: WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha!

Bulma: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?

Krillin: Because it's hilarious!

Piccolo: You *just* learned about it.

Krillin: And it, is hilarious!

Piccolo: Anyway... Gohan, I think Bulma and the baby need to go home.

Bulma: We do?

Piccolo: You do.

Gohan: Well, it would be nice to check in on my Dad...

Yajirobe: Actually, I kinda need a ride, too.

Gohan: But, I--

Bulma: ACTUALLY, I'd like you to take me home first.

Gohan: But, you--

Piccolo: Stop worrying, Gohan. I'm sure Goku's fine.

Goku: (Painful screaming)

Dr. Gero: 'Alright, made a miscalculation!'

Dr. Gero: '...A couple miscalculations.'

Dr. Gero: 'Lost an Android, and a hand,'

Dr. Gero: 'and I think my brain case is loose!'

Dr. Gero: 'But, there's no way they can follow me, and none of them know where to find my lab--'

Dr. Gero: 'huh?!'

Dr. Gero: 'That's funny, they're all flying right toward my--'

Dr. Gero: '...oh, FIND ME IN THE ALPS!'

Dr. Gero: 'No. There's no way they could have secured the location of my secret lab.'

Dr. Gero: 'Unless they know a scientist. Like Wheelo, or Frappe. Or any of the Brief--'

Dr. Gero: *SHIT*!!

Bulma: Oh! Your... father, h-uh?

Trunks: Yeah! You never talk about Dad! What was he like?

Bulma: H-he was... a loner?

Bulma: Had a lot of trouble making friends, very abrasive...

Trunks: Am I a lot like him?

Bulma: ...You have his gender.

Vegeta: Y'know, if you really wanted to help out, you could stop following me around, and start searching these mountains.

Trunks: I'm trying to save your life! If you'd just stop and listen to me--

Vegeta: The hell do you care?

Trunks: Oh, come on! We both know I'm your son!

Vegeta: And are you as disappointed as I am?

Trunks: Grrrh!

Piccolo: Alright, we've got a lot of ground to cover.

Krillin: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say...

Piccolo: We should probably--

Krillin: Here it comes...

Piccolo: --stick together for safety.

Krillin: Oh! Thank our green God on the Lookout--!

Tien: I dunno... probably cover more ground if we split up.

Krillin: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Piccolo: Nah, he's got a good point.

Krillin: Agh, green goddammit...

Krillin: Why am I so scared anyway?

Krillin: There's like a sextillion mountains around here.

Krillin: Chances of me running into him are--

Krillin: (Scream)

Dr. Gero: Five hundred forty thousand to one! Lucky you!

Dr. Gero: Ta-ta~

Krillin: (Squealing)

Dr. Gero: 'Ahh, there's no place like home.'

Dr. Gero: 'And the only person who even got close is currently incapacitat--'

Krillin: Hey, guys! I found Dr. Gero!

Krillin: And his lab!

Krillin: I found Dr. Gero's lab!!

Dr. Gero: INCONCEIVABLE! How are you al--

Krillin: Senzu bean.

Dr. Gero: ...I don't know what I was expecting.

Dr. Gero: Please - if you wouldn't mind waiting for a moment, uhh... Tien... I have something I'd like to show you!

Krillin: Okay!

Krillin: (Blissful humming)

Krillin: Ahh crap, it's the Androids.

Dr. Gero: 'I literally can't believe that worked.'

Dr. Gero: 'I also can't believe I may have to resort to Seventeen and Eighteen.'

Dr. Gero: 'I should measure my choices. I can't be too careful with thi--'

Krillin: Piccolo! Over here! I found Gero's lab!

Piccolo: Rrrragh!!

Piccolo: AAUGH, MY WRIST!!

Dr. Gero: 'Caution to the wind, then!'

Android 17: Hello, Dr. Gero. How are you today?

Dr. Gero: Well that's... new. I--

Android 17: I'm just messin' with ya, man. What's up, doc?

Dr. Gero: Oh, there it is...

Dr. Gero: Good morning, Android 17.

Android 17: Man! According to my database, it's been a while since you last turned us off.

Dr. Gero: You mean since you tried to destroy me.

Android 17: Yeah, doc. And I'm real broken up about 'dat.

Dr. Gero: It's just, every time you talked, all I heard was, "Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!"

Dr. Gero: Something with my auditory. Think it's gone now, though.

Dr. Gero: Well, suppose you just needed to be turned off and on again.

Android 17: Hmm. How 'bout 'dat.

Android 17: You gonna wake my sister up, too?

Dr. Gero: Indeed. I require both of your assistance.

Android 17: Wow. Must've gotten yourself in some shit~

Tien: Here. Let me get in on this.

Tien: AGH! Now *my* wrist!

Android 18: Hello, Dr. Gero. How are--

Android 17: I already did it.

Android 18: Ugh. You dick! We were supposed to do that together!

Android 17: I know. But, I couldn't help myself.

Android 18: Whatever. What do you want?

Dr. Gero: Well, Son Goku's comrades are *currently knocking at our door*!!

Piccolo: AUGH, MY OTHER WRIST!

Krillin: JESUS! Use your shoulder!

Dr. Gero: After a bit of an... *incident* earlier today, I lost Android 19. And my ar--

Android 18: Wait a sec... you built another Android?

Android 17: Waitwaitwait... was it that *fat clown* thing? I thought that was a joke!

Android 18: Well, clearly it was. It's dead.

Dr. Gero: And so are we if you don't--

Android 17: Whoa, slow down. Are YOU an Android?

Android 17: Holy shit, you're an Android! How did you even DO that?

Dr. Gero: I took my brain out and put it into this body.

Android 18: ...How?

Dr. Gero: I-- ...huh.

Dr. Gero: How DID I do that?

Tien: Agh! Now my shoulder!

Krillin: I think it's made of some kind of metal!

Vegeta: So. We havin' a party?

Piccolo: Must be. 'Cause you're late.

Vegeta: Only because of this brat's constant backchat!

Trunks: Because YOU flew 200 miles past North City!

Vegeta: And I'm about to put my hand 200 miles upside your head!

Trunks: That doesn't make any sense!!

Android 18: Jesus, they're loud...

Dr. Gero: Great. And now Vegeta's here!

Dr. Gero: Seventeen! Eighteen! You two are charged with eliminating them!

Android 17: Y'know, I'll get right on that. But first, we gotta talk about these trust issues, because I get this strange feeling that after we kill them, you're just gonna turn us off again.

Android 17: And I don't even know how.

Dr. Gero: Why... with this remote, of course!

Android 17: Oh...! You mean *this* remote?

Dr. Gero: Gha! But... y-you see, that's just the decoy remote!

Dr. Gero: I wouldn't show you the real thing, hah!

Dr. Gero: But, uh... I do need that remote back. It was my mother's.

Android 17: Oh, don't you worry. I'ma hold onto it *real* tight.

Android 17: Whoops!

Android 18: Did your hand just malfunction, bro?

Android 17: Think it did, sis!

Vegeta: Enough of this. I'm sick of standing around!

Trunks: NO! We can't do this without Goku!

Vegeta: WHY? It's a goddamn door!

Trunks: That's not what I--

Vegeta: GAAARGH!

Vegeta: ...Alright, so where are the "real" Androids?

Trunks: That's them...

Vegeta: Wow. You are just the Grand Central Station of disappointment, aren't you?

Trunks: How are these people friends with you!?

Tien: Makin' a lot of assumptions right now.

Android 18: Wow. You got a whole hot mess of these guys over here.

Dr. Gero: And you NEED TO GET RID OF THEM!

Android 18: I dunno, we might need some help.

Android 18: Oh, what's this? Your "secret project"?

Dr. Gero: No, he's in the base--

Dr. Gero: I mean, YES! Very secret! DON'T TOUCH!!

Android 18: Wait a second... did you build a ginger Android?

Android 18: Man. There's a soul-less machine joke there, but that's beneath me.

Trunks: Wait, what!?

Vegeta: So, I'm pretty sure that's *three* Androids you've missed? Do I hear four?

Trunks: 'No, no no no no!'

Dr. Gero: Do not activate Android 16! He's not properly programmed!

Android 17: Oh, and how many of us are?

Android 17: "Howdy, folks, I'm Android 13! Look at ma trucker hat!"

Dr. Gero: I was going through a phase!

Android 18: Well, let's say we open him up and get to know our new friend.

Dr. Gero: Don't you *dare*! I am your master! And you will do what I say!

Android 17: I... I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? I think the ear thing's back.

Dr. Gero: I said - I am your *master*! AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I--

Dr. Gero: (Choking / gurgling)

Android 17: Sorry, doc.

Dr. Gero: GURAAUGH...!

Android 17: Just following orders.

Krillin: (Whimpering)

Dr. Gero: So... could one of you possibly spare one of those Senzu be--?

Gohan: Bulma? Are you sure it's safe to hold the baby like that while we're flying?

Bulma: Well, what do you expect me to do?

Gohan: Give him to Yajirobe?

Bulma: I'm afraid he'll either drop him, or eat him out of spite.

Yajirobe: I am pissed and hungry. She is right to fear me.