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Plan to Eradicate Christmas

15:38 · 280 lines · YouTube

0:00
[Insert disclaimer here]
0:00
[These are the main English subtitles. For added awesomeness, please click the English (Canada) subtitles. Thank you!]
0:18
Dr. Lychee: War...
0:21
Dr. Lychee: Greed.
0:24
Dr. Lychee: Pollution.
0:26
Dr. Lychee: Destruction.
0:29
Dr. Lychee: The world has been overcome by naughtiness.
0:34
Dr. Lychee: It cannot be saved.
0:37
Dr. Lychee: It can only be culled.
0:42
Dr. Lychee: Christmas... is ho... ho... ...over.
1:05
[(POP)]
1:06
Goku: Merry Christmas Eve, Bulma!
1:08
Gohan: And Happy Holidays, Mr. Piccolo!
1:11
Piccolo: You know, I actually do celebrate Christmas.
1:13
Gohan: Really?
1:14
Piccolo: Yeah; if you think about it, I'm basically the Son of God.
1:17
Kami: 'Oh, Jesus Christ...'
1:19
Piccolo: 'Kinda.'
1:19
Nail: 'Wait, so does that make me the Holy Spirit?'
1:22
Piccolo: 'Kinda.'
1:22
Kami: 'Kinda.'
1:23
Bulma: Um, have any of you seen the news today?
1:25
Gohan: The only thing my Dad watches on Christmas is the Rankin Bass Rudolf movie on loop.
1:30
Bulma: Well...
1:31
May: May McStand here, live from West City, where a toxic miasma has the local townsfolk collapsing en masse.
1:37
Gohan: Good thing we Instant Transmissioned.
1:39
May: In unrelated news, several machines have been descending from the skies via dark *ungodly* orb in the outer atmosphere.
1:44
[(TV turned off)]
1:45
Trunks: I don't think that's unrelated.
1:47
Goku: Someone or some*thing* is trying to ruin Christmas again.
1:52
Goku: And that's got me Chris-miffed.
1:55
Gohan: Solid pun, Dad.
1:56
Goku: Thanks. I've been waiting for someone to try and ruin Christmas again.
2:00
Bulma: Those machines are the ones expelling the gas.
2:02
Bulma: It's some kind of aerosolized coal particulates, but...
2:06
Bulma: Something's weird about it.
2:08
Trunks: So what? Is someone trying to kill the whole world with Miner's Lung?
2:11
Goku: *Gasp* Be careful, Gohan! You're a minor!
2:15
Gohan: (taken aback) I'm...surprised you knew that--
2:17
Goku: (panicking) So, is Piccolo...and Bulma!
2:19
Gohan: (disappointed) Oh...
2:20
Gohan: You meant character.
2:21
Goku: And Vegeta!
2:23
Vegeta: The f**k I am!
2:24
Goku: Oh. Hey, Geets! When'd you get here?
2:26
Vegeta: I live here, you dolt.
2:28
Bulma: Could've fooled me...
2:29
Trunks: What's up, Dad? You're looking... uncharacteristically wistful.
2:33
Vegeta: Well, it's just...
2:35
Vegeta: Every Christmas Eve--before it was replaced by Freeza Day--I'd sit out on my porch and fire into the night sky, hoping to kill Santa.
2:43
Goku: (gasp) Oh no! You never hit him, did you?!
2:46
Vegeta: I thought I did once, but it was actually just a pod carrying my brother, Tarble.
2:50
Vegeta: They never found it... or the body.
2:53
Vegeta: What I'm saying is it's Christmas Eve and something needs to die.
2:57
Vegeta: So I'm feeling a little nostalgic.
3:00
Trunks: I have an uncle??
3:01
Vegeta: You *had* an uncle.
3:05
Goku: There it is. One of the machines that's ruining Christmas.
3:10
Goku: First, we blow'em all up.
3:12
Goku: Then we find the Grinch that made them, and send that grimacing green monster straight to HFIL!
3:18
Piccolo: Um...
3:19
Gohan: Not you, Mr. Piccolo.
3:20
Goku: Who wants to blow it up?
3:22
Goku: 1-2-3--
3:22
Vegeta: Mine!
3:23
Goku: Aw, dang it.
3:24
[(Explosion)]
3:25
Vegeta: Ha ha! And *that's* how Vegeta saved C--! rrrrrrrrap.
3:29
Goku: Want I should take a swing at it?
3:31
Vegeta: Go to hell, Kakarot!
3:32
Freeza: Oh please. *Do* go to hell.
3:34
Goku: *Surprised gasp!*
3:34
Freeza: It's wonderful, this time of year...
3:36
Freeza: *I should know*.
3:38
Gohan: Freeza!
3:39
Freeza: That's right, Monkeys! We have returned for our revenge!
3:44
Gohan: Is that like the royal "we", or...
3:47
Freeza: Yes!
3:48
Freeza: Also, no.
3:49
Freeza: Come forth, villains of Freeza Day past!
3:53
Cooler: Brother, we agreed on villains of *Christmas* past.
3:56
Vegeta: Cooler!
3:57
Slug: Okay. So like, I showed up in July.
3:59
Slug: I-I'm just here for revenge. You know...more or less--
4:02
Piccolo: Slug!!
4:03
Turles: And I'm more than happy to take another crack at this nut!
4:07
Goku: Dark *me*!
4:09
Turles: Dark yo-- (baffled) ...you remember me, right?
4:11
Goku: Of course.
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Goku: Every time I look in the mirror.
4:15
Turles: No, I'm--
4:16
Vegeta: Turles, right?
4:17
Turles: Yes!
4:18
Turles: ...Oh my God; Prince Vegeta??
4:19
Vegeta: How's the tree doing?
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Turles: Destroyed.
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Vegeta: And *this* is why we don't let the lower class have nice things.
4:25
Gohan: And herrrre we goooo with the politics...
4:28
Freeza: So, Monkeys!
4:30
Turles: (offended) Dude!
4:31
Gohan: ...And the racism.
4:32
Freeza: We're here to make this your last Freeza Day on Earth.
4:36
Cooler: Seriously, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?
4:39
Freeza: Well, that is what father said.
4:39
[music winds down]
4:41
Cooler: He also said he loved us both equally.
4:43
Freeza: Well, you know how fond father was of *jokes*!
4:45
Cooler: And that's why he had you *second*, punchline!
4:48
Trunks: This is really uncomfortable.
4:50
Gohan: Yep. That's Christmas.
4:51
Goku: Alright, guys!
4:53
Goku: Let's jingle these bells!
4:55
Vegeta: I refuse to fight to that.
4:58
[(Fighting sounds)]
4:58
[♫ "Jingle Bells" Orchestral Mix ♫]
5:08
[(Explosion)]
5:14
[(Ki blast sound)]
5:19
[(warping sound)]
5:23
[(warping sound)]
5:30
Goku: Killing them isn't working!
5:32
Gohan: It's something in the air, Dad! (coughs)
5:35
Cooler: That's right, fools! Let's just say you're getting a little more than coal for Christmas.
5:41
Freeza: Freeza Day!
5:42
Cooler: F**K. OFF!!
5:43
Goku: You know, Christmas is a time where we should all come together--
5:48
Turles: You're right. So, let's all come together...
5:51
Turles: ...so you can all *die* together!
5:54
Freeza: God rest ye, Monkey gentlemen.
5:59
[♫ Christmas In Hollis by RUN-DMC playing in Bulma's ride ♫]
6:02
Bulma: Hey everyone~!
6:02
[♫ Christmas In Hollis by RUN-DMC playing in Bulma's ride ♫]
6:05
Bulma: I ran a bunch of tests on the gas, and I discovered that it's not just coal,
6:09
Bulma: but pure, concentrated *naughtiness*~!
6:12
Bulma: So I took some of baby Trunks' blood and synthesized enough niceness to destroy the--
6:16
Goku: Magic baby blood. Cool.
6:17
Bulma: Right? Now, I'm off to go destroy the other machines.
6:21
Bulma: Also, visit some African warlords.
6:25
Freeza: (confused) Did-- ...did nobody shoot her?
6:27
Slug: Why didn't you?
6:28
Freeza: Because I have *you fools*!
6:30
Cooler: I'm sorry, dear brother, but I thought it was all about *you*.
6:34
Freeza: Oh stop being a prick!
6:35
[(ki blasts)]
6:42
[(explosion)]
6:46
Piccolo: Cathartic as that was, I don't think this is over.
6:49
Gohan: That did feel more like a symptom than a cause.
6:52
Goku: Hold on! Let me check with the big guy upstairs.
6:55
Goku: (telepathically) Hey, King Kai!
6:56
King Kai: (t) Oh, hey Goku! Merry Christmas!
6:59
Goku: Merry Christmas, King Kai! Quick question: Do you know if anyone is attacking the Earth, right now?
7:04
King Kai: (t) Oh yeah! *Real suspicious-looking* mini-moon sitting around in your upper atmosphere.
7:08
King Kai: I was gonna tell you tomorrow since, you know, it's Christmas...
7:11
Goku: (t) But it's Christmas Eve, though.
7:13
King Kai: (t) Not in this time zone.
7:14
King Kai: Anyway, that thing is *overflowing* with naughty energy.
7:18
King Kai: So, whatever you do, be careful.
7:22
King Kai: Or don't. Whatever, I'm like, 5 eggnogs in.
7:28
Dr. Lychee: I see. You have failed me, my dark ornaments.
7:33
[(villains' screams of agony)]
7:34
Dr. Lychee: But... it is of no concern.
7:37
Dr. Lychee: Soon... the whole *world* will know the *true* meaning of Christmas.
7:43
Goku: Not on our watch!
7:45
Dr. Lychee: Oh, good! You're right on time!
7:49
Dr. Lychee: Welcome to my workshop... The Star of Death-lehem!
7:54
Piccolo: Wait, "workshop"? Like...
7:57
Piccolo: "Santa's... Workshop"?
7:58
Dr. Lychee: Yes... *My* workshop.
8:02
Goku: (Long, Excited Gasp)
8:06
Goku: SANTA!!
8:08
Gohan: Dad, he is the one trying to destroy Christmas.
8:11
Goku: Huh? But...that would make him...
8:14
Goku: ...*evil*!
8:16
Dr. Lychee: I'm the one with the lists here.
8:17
Dr. Lychee: I decide good and evil... and you're *all* at the top of my naughty list!
8:23
Dr. Lychee: Piccolo, you tried to subjugate the entire planet!
8:27
Piccolo: Pft. Sins of the father, much?
8:29
Dr. Lychee: Trunks, you've completely destabilized the space-time continuum, with your reckless time-travel!
8:35
Trunks: That's absurd!
8:37
Trunks: (classic TV sound) I have no idea what you're talking about. The space-time continuum is fine.
8:41
Dr. Lychee: And *you*, Vegeta...
8:44
Dr. Lychee: Jesus Christ, I-- ...I mean just... wow!
8:47
Dr. Lychee: There's not enough time in the *day*...
8:50
Dr. Lychee: But how about we *start* with the hole you put in my sleigh?!
8:53
Vegeta: HA! I *did* hit him!
8:55
Dr. Lychee: And *you*!
8:57
Goku: Um...
8:58
Dr. Lychee: Your ceaseless lust for battle has endangered not only your family... but your *entire planet*! TIME, and time again!
9:07
Dr. Lychee: You are a danger to the *entire universe*!
9:11
Goku: Whaat? That's crazy.
9:12
Goku: How could *I* ever endanger the whole universe?
9:19
Gohan: Wait-- But, what about me?
9:20
Dr. Lychee: You're actually on the nice list.
9:22
Dr. Lychee: Merry Christmas, Gohan.
9:25
Gohan: Oh wow. Thank you so much, Santa!
9:28
Gohan: I wonder what it-- (unwraps gift)
9:29
Gohan: Oh, it's Moby Dick... (gasp) ...in French!
9:33
Gohan: Merci beaucoup, Père Noël!
9:33
[(in French) Thank you very much, Father Christmas!]
9:35
Dr. Lychee: But for the rest of you, and this un-salvageable planet...
9:39
Dr. Lychee: the only present I have is--
9:42
Vegeta: FINAL FLAAAAAASH!!
9:45
Dr. Lychee: GWAAAAHHH!!
9:49
Vegeta: GOT HIM! MERRY CHRISTMAS FOR VEGETA!
9:51
Goku: Vegeta, noooo!
9:53
Vegeta: Vegeta, YEESS!!
9:56
Piccolo: Okay, so did we just... save Christmas?
9:59
Piccolo: ...Again?
10:00
Goku: No. It's ruined.
10:03
Goku: (crying) We killed Santaaa!!
10:07
Hatchiyack: You fools!
10:09
Hatchiyack: You cannot kill Santa!
10:12
Goku: I knew it!
10:13
[♫ "Silent Night" Orchestral Mix ♫]
10:19
Hatchiyack: Prince of the Saiyans... *Yule* regret your actions against the mighty Claus!
10:26
Vegeta: Ah, "yule". Like the log, right--
10:28
Vegeta: Oh, holy night--!
10:29
Vegeta: AARRRGGH!!
10:33
Hatchiyack: What you destroyed was merely a leftover shell from my... Christmas Eve-olution.
10:39
Hatchiyack: You see, Saiyans... ...you're not dealing with the average Father Christmas, anymore.
10:47
Goku: Oh my God, he's gone Super Santa!
10:50
Hatchiyack: And I'm a right grumpy old elf!
10:54
[(Z-Fighters groaning in pain)]
10:57
Piccolo: Oh! I'm out!
10:59
Vegeta: Eat your milk and cookies in Hell!!
11:02
[(ki blast)]
11:03
[(explosion)]
11:07
Vegeta: Yippee-ki-yay...
11:08
Vegeta: (skyward) MOTHERFUCKER!!
11:14
Hatchiyack: You better watch out.
11:15
Vegeta: Umm...
11:17
Hatchiyack: You better not cry.
11:19
Goku: 'Aw, this is my jam!'
11:20
Hatchiyack: You better not pout, but you're gonna die.
11:25
Goku: 'I don't like this version.'
11:26
Hatchiyack: ♫ Santa Claus is taking you down. ♫
11:31
Hatchiyack: Garland Gun...!
11:33
Vegeta: You what, mate?
11:34
Hatchiyack: ...Fire!!
11:35
Vegeta: Shit!
11:36
[(explosion)]
11:40
Trunks: Why did you just stand there?
11:42
Vegeta: Haha, it's the last thing he'd expect.
11:45
Trunks: Merry Christmas, Dad.
11:49
Goku: I gotcha, so--!
11:50
Goku: WAAH!
11:51
Hatchiyack: What child is this, who laid to rest on Santa's lap, is bleeding?!
11:56
Gohan: (painful groans)
11:59
[(ki blasts)]
12:02
[(explosion)]
12:06
Piccolo: Not really feeling the "goodwill towards men", up in here.
12:09
Hatchiyack: I'm all out of goodwill, but here's a stocking-stuffer for you!
12:14
Piccolo: Starting to get *real sick* of these Christmas pu--
12:16
Piccolo: UH-BUH-BA, BUH-BA!
12:17
Gohan: Mr. Piccolo!
12:19
Gohan: I'll punch your Christmas lights ou--!
12:21
Gohan: GAH-UUHG!
12:23
[(punching sounds)]
12:25
Goku: 'Oh man, this is bad!'
12:27
Goku: 'They're getting pa rum pum pum pummeled up there!'
12:31
Goku: 'Think, Goku. How do we save Christmas?'
12:35
Goku: 'Wait... that's it! I see now!'
12:40
Goku: Guys! I figured out his weakness!
12:40
[♫ "Carol of the Bells" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra ♫]
12:42
Hatchiyack: Ho ho... oooh?
12:47
[(fighing sounds)]
12:52
Goku: You see, Santa? Christmas isn't about the presents...!
12:57
[(explosion)]
12:58
Goku: It's not about the figgy pudding...!
13:02
[(explosion)]
13:05
Goku: Or the pretty lights... ...or the *obnoxiously catchy* music.
13:11
Goku: And most of all...
13:13
Goku: It's not about you!
13:16
Goku: KAAAAAA...
13:19
Hatchiyack: Fools!
13:21
Hatchiyack: I'll crush your Christmas spirits, and then I'll send this naughty world to oblivion!!
13:29
Piccolo: Goku's right! Christmas is about the bonds that bring us together!
13:33
Trunks: It's about friends!
13:35
Gohan: And family!
13:36
Vegeta: And killing Santa!!
13:38
Goku: And that's the true meaning of Christmas!!
13:41
Goku: HAAAAA!! (ki blast)
13:43
Vegeta: HAAAAA!! (ki blast)
13:45
Trunks: HAAAAA!! (ki blast)
13:46
Piccolo: HAAAAA!! (ki blast)
13:46
Gohan: HAAAAA!! (ki blast)
13:49
Hatchiyack: Ho! Ho! No...!!
13:58
[(explosions)]
14:00
Goku: And now... he's Feliz Navi-dead.
14:04
Gohan: And that's the last Christmas pun.
14:06
[(POP)]
14:06
[(explosions toward end of the world explosion)]
14:22
[(POP)]
14:22
Goku: (surprised) Woah! Hey guys!
14:24
Krillin: Hey Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Piccolo, and Trunks!
14:27
Chi-Chi: Gohan, where have you two been?
14:29
Gohan: We went to go see Santa.
14:31
Chi-Chi: Awww.
14:32
Vegeta: And we killed him!
14:33
Chi-Chi: Ohhhh.
14:35
Krillin: Huh. Guess you had to be there. Anyway, who wants eggnog?!
14:38
Goku: Ooh, me!
14:40
Trunks: Honestly, this is the best Christmas I've ever had.
14:42
Vegeta: Damn right. A proper Saiyan Christmas!
14:46
Piccolo: You know, a lot of people probably died in that smoke.
14:49
Goku: Oh.
14:50
Goku: Well, we can wish them all back... Tomorrow!
14:53
Vegeta: YES! BOXING DAY!
14:54
[BAM]
14:55
Krillin: Ahh! My 'nog!
14:56
Goku: Merry Christmas to all!
14:59
Goku: And to all, a good fight!
15:18
Kaiserneko: Hey folks! Hope you enjoyed Plan to Eradicate Christmas!
15:21
Kaiserneko: If you did, how about you take a sleigh ride over to our Discord and chat up other fans about it, and all the other projects we got going on?
15:27
Kaiserneko: You can also ask us questions in the Q&A channel, post and view fan art, and more!
15:32
Kaiserneko: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and lots of love, from Team Four Star!