Christmas Tree of Might Part 2

Goku: It's OK, Gohan. You're safe.

Goku: Now go to sleep; and in the morning, Santa will have brought all of your presents.

Goku: And by presents, I mean books.

Gohan: D... dang it... uhh...

Turles: Savor this moment, Kakarrot. It will be the last one you ever have with your son!

Goku: (Gasp)... He knows my Saiyan name!

Goku: So you... must be Vegeta!

Turles: Wait, you think I'm--

Goku: Silly Vegeta! It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!

Goku: Take that costume off.

Turles: I'm not Vegeta. I'm just another Saiyan who escaped the destruction of our planet.

Goku: Ohhhhh...

Goku: 'Man, that means he's like... an evil *me*! Only he doesn't have a goatee.'

Goku: 'I'm gonna imagine one!'

Goku: Ssso evil!

Turles: Hurrrgh...!

Goku: Now it's just down to you and me!

Turles: Yes. Me and you.

Turles: Oh, and my five Misfit Minions.

Goku: But, what about my friends?

Slay: We all had eggnog and Christmas fudge!

Goku: Really?!

Reese: Nope! Wasted them like figgy pudding.

Goku: YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!

Jinga: UGH!

Reese: UGH!

Beru: UGH!

S.N.O.W.: Droid.

Slay: UGH!

Goku: ...Did I just smash the Krampus?

Turles: This has gone on long enough!

Turles: You don't even understand why I'm here, do you?

Goku: All I heard was: "Look at me! I hate Christmas, because I'm a big jerk!"

Turles: And who *wouldn't* be a big jerk after the injustices I suffered?!

Turles: On Planet Vegeta, we heard all about all the other planets that Santa would visit.

Turles: We'd heard of the joy he brought children, of the presents, of the *merriment*... THAT I WAS *DENIED*!

Turles: Planet Vegeta never *got* Christmas.

Turles: No, all we got was Freeza Day!

Goku: Well, what d'ya get for Freeza Day?

Turles: He blew our PLANET UP!

Goku: That's sad...

Goku: But I still can't let you steal the joy from Earth!

Turles: Hold that thought; tree's done.

Goku: What?

Turles: See, these fruit hold all the joy from Earth.

Turles: When I eat it, I will gain Earth's joy!

Goku: Why are you so evil?!

Turles: Deal with it.

Narrator: Turles ate of the fruit, and so they say, his power level grew three sizes that day.

Goku: 'That's not good...!'

Turles: Now, denounce your faith!

Goku: N... no!

Turles: Denounce your faith in Santa Claus!

Goku: NEVER!

Turles: Well, then... Bah Humbug.

Turles: Well, now that that's over, time to plan a bitchin' New Year's party!

Goku: Ugh... ahh... uhh...

Goku: 'Nooo... Christmas... can't be ruined...!'

Goku: Must... summon up... energy...!

Santa: Goku... it is I, the anointed saint.

Santa: The spreader of love and peace.

Goku: 'Oh, wow! It's...!'

Santa: Yes, it is I... Santa.

Goku: (Gasp)

Santa: You must defeat him, Goku; you are the only one who can.

Goku: 'But, he's got all of Earth's joy. He's too powerful.'

Santa: No, Goku. The joy... is within your heart.

Goku: (Inhales)... you're right!

Santa: Now kick his ass to the North Pole and back!

Goku: Yes...Santa!

Turles: What the hell? What is this sudden burst of joy?!

Goku: This is Christmas, melon farmer!

Turles: NO... SO... MUCH... JOY!

Man: Look! It's snowing!

Woman: But... it's yellow...!

Woman: ♫ Oh, the weather outside is frightful ♫

Woman: ♫ But the fire is so delightful ♫

Woman: ♫ And since we've no place to go ♫

Woman: ♫ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow ♫

Goku: 'It's too bad that Turles was such a Scrooge; we would have happily shared our Christmas with him.'

Santa: You know... the sad part is, I always tried to visit Planet Vegeta.

Santa: Problem was - they kept trying to shoot down my sleigh.

Goku: 'Bummer.'

Santa: Now, I'm off to deliver my presents.

Santa: But thank you... for saving Christmas!

Goku: Anytime, Santa. Bye~!

Santa: Ho, ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Hoooo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hooo...!

Goku: 'Wait a second... if that guy wasn't Vegeta... ...where is Vegeta?'

Vegeta: This is so non-canon, it hurts.

Ghost Nappa: Vegeta~ ...Tonight, you will be haunted by three ghoooosts!

Ghost Nappa: And they're all me.

Ghost of Nappa Past: Hi!

Ghost of Nappa Present: Hi!

Ghost of Nappa Future: Hi!

Vegeta: God damn it, I hate Christmas.