Episode 2.9 (April Fools 2019)

Garlic Jr.: Don't be a dummy. Give them your money!

Gohan: Mom...

Gohan: This is an intervention.

Gohan: We love you, we all support you...

Gohan: ...but your manner of raising me has been too strict, and too harsh.

Gohan: Like my new tutor.

Gohan: (Groans of pain) TUTOR: Learn!

Gohan: (Groans of pain) TUTOR: Learn! Learn!

Gohan: (Groans of pain) TUTOR: Learn! Learn! Learn!

Gohan: Are you learning yet?!

Gohan: I don't know.

Gohan: Did Caligula get his comeuppance!?

Tutor: Good! It's working!

Tutor: Learn!

Tutor: Learn! Learn! GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh)

Tutor: Learn! Learn! Learn! GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh)

Tutor: Learn! Learn! Learn! Learn! GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh)

Tutor: I know that you love me,

Tutor: but it seems your only way of expressing it

Tutor: is theoretical math, and organic chemistry.

Tutor: So please...

Tutor: put the tiger mom back in the cage,

Tutor: and then *maybe*...

Tutor: ...Dad will come home.

Krillin: And that's why we're on the Lookout.

Krillin: But it kinda seems like you've got another thing going on.

Spice: We are the Spice Boys.

Spice: So stop and move over,

Spice: because we're about to *spice* up your life.

Spice: I am Spice.

Vinegar: Hey. Name's Vinegar.

Mustard: And my name is...

Mustard: ...is Tard.

Krillin: Excuse you?!

Mustard: Like "mustard"! Come on, guys!

Mustard: Please don't make a big deal out of this!

Mustard: It's cultural, okay?

Vinegar: Psh, I shorten "Vinegar" all the time,

Vinegar: but you don't hear me calling myself N--

Spice: Vinny! Damn it, you're going to get us in trouble again!

Spice: Don't make us kick you out like we did with Baby Spice.

Baby Spice: Whenever I go out of town on business, I like to do my research on where I'm going!

Baby Spice: What are the local hot-spots, the bar scene,

Baby Spice: the age of consent; make the best of my time, you know?

Enema: And I'm Enema!

Admiral Piett: It's an older reference, sir, but it checks out.

Krillin: Wait, is that...

Krillin: ...Garlic Junior?!

Krillin: Weren't you trapped in another dimension, never to escape?!

Garlic Jr.: Yes, I escaped.

Krillin: OH NO!

Garlic Jr.: Quite.

Garlic Jr.: And now - I've captured Kami, and released the Black Water Mist upon the planet.

Kami: [muffled] It's actually something Popo's been fermenting for the last couple hundred years.

Kami: He says it's great for vape pens and butt chugging.

Garlic Jr.: Ew.

Spice: And now, with the help of *the Makyo Star*...!

Spice: We're going to wipe out all of the Earth's defenses.

Gohan: Please; we've got Piccolo, and he beat up second-form *Freeza*.

Gohan: What are you gonna--?

Piccolo: (Canine growling)

Piccolo: (Canine growling) GOHAN: ...Oh, great. So he's on bath salts now, too.

Piccolo: (Canine growling)

Enema: Time to get the shit out!

Krillin: Gohan!

Krillin: FUCK!

Mustard: You and I are gonna have a real *gas*.

Krillin: The long-term effects of mustard gas on soldiers in World War II was horrific.

Krillin: Why would y--?

Krillin: AW, FINALLY!!

Mustard: By the way, it was World War I.

Krillin: Right, I know, you just - like - you start saying "World War", and you just kind of want to say "two".

Krillin: You know, it's like with Terminator. Everybody *knows* there's a first one,

Krillin: but everybody's always talking about the seq--

Krillin: UEEAaAaA!

Gohan: Krillin! Oh my God, are you okay?

Krillin: Man, I'm glad we skipped this the first time.

Gohan: Well, where's Vegeta? He can help us!

Krillin: Apparently, he went out to space to find your dad.

Vegeta: All right; I've checked everywhere except for Planet Yardrat and Vampa.

Vegeta: Wait a minute - am I floating in space?

Vegeta: Man...

Vegeta: Guess it's a good thing I'm in a part of [chuckles] galaxy where there's air.

Enema: So I told the bitch, "Don't worry!"

Enema: "Once I'm all up in your guts, you're gonna feel fresh and clean!"

Gohan: HAAA!

Enema: HOLY SHIT!

Mustard: Enema! Noooo!

Mustard: I mean... we actually hated him, so I'm not really heartbroken over it,

Mustard: but I've been using his HBO Go account, and while I'm not into Game of Thrones,

Mustard: I'm really enjoying Silicon Val--

Gohan: AAAAAAAHHHH!

Mustard: FUCK!!

Krillin: Holy shit, Gohan, did you just kill two people?

Gohan: I NOW HAVE A TASTE FOR *BLOOD*!

Garlic Jr.: Why you like that, though?

Vinegar: Spice, release the cokehead.

Spice: Sic 'em, boy!

Piccolo: RRREAUGH--!

Kaiserneko: Guys, what should we do with this scene?

Lanipator: We-should-do-a-Dodge-joke.

Lanipator: We haven't done one in forever, people fffucking love them and we made the goddamn shirt!

Lanipator: WE FUCKING DO IT!

Kaiserneko: Maybe...?

Kaiserneko: I don't know; Curt, what do you think?

Kaiserneko: ...All right. Dodge joke it is.

Lanipator: FUCK YEAH!

Lanipator: D'AGH!

Piccolo: DOOODGE!

Gohan: AAUGH!

Garlic Jr.: Good. Now choke him!

Garlic Jr.: Choke the shit out of him!

Gohan: [strained] Harder...

Piccolo: WHOA!

Garlic Jr.: WHOA!

Vinegar: BRO!

Spice: WHAT?!

Krillin: Jesus, WHAT?!

Gohan: [s] Fight it... harder, Mr. Piccolo!

Piccolo: Oh! Thank Kami.

Garlic Jr.: Oh good, good. Back to the choking, then.

Piccolo: Nah, it's weird now.

Piccolo: You made it weird, Gohan.

Piccolo: Now I'm hungry.

Krillin: Wait! Wait! WAIT!

Chomp: Mmmm~!

Chomp: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Chomp: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...t!

Gohan: Please, Mr. Piccolo! Don't let the Black Water Mist control you!

Spice: No, no; w-we gave him cocaine. Did you not hear us?

Gohan: Wha...?

Spice: It's a spice.

Vinegar: Spice of life.

Kami: [m] Mr. Popo leaves it lying around.

Kami: I made French toast the other week, and it was a bad time.

Kami: Well at first, it was a really good time.

Kami: Very productive day; but then...

Kami: ...it wasn't.

Garlic Jr.: I want some coke-toast.

Garlic Jr.: Alright, Piccolo!

Garlic Jr.: Make like an anti-vaxxer and murder this child!

Spice: Getting a little heavy-handed with the social commentary, aren't we?

Vinegar: Art should be controversial, man.

Piccolo: Actually, hold on. Wanna see something gross?

Garlic Jr.: I don't really do gross.

Garlic Jr.: Oh God, guy, what are you--?

Garlic Jr.: Oh, oh no, no, no, don't, I-- I can't-- I can't do gro--!

Garlic Jr.: I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up!

Garlic Jr.: BLAAAUUGH!

Spice: Hey, Vinny? I think the coke's worn off--

Piccolo: More! I need more!

Spice: All right, man. Jesus!

Spice: I-I'm sure there's more around here somewhere--

Spice: GAUGH!

Piccolo: NOOOO! MY COCAINE!

Gohan: Mr. Piccolo, I've had *one* intervention today and *I will NOT* have another!

Vinegar: Ugh, okay, this place is killing my high. I'm out.

Garlic Jr.: ...Are you FUCKING me right now?!

Garlic Jr.: You know what? Fine!

Garlic Jr.: I'm a strong, independent demon who don't need no henchmen.

Garlic Jr.: (deeper voice) Imagine my shlong in this form!

Krillin: Mmmm~!

Gohan: Oh God, he's giant *and* immortal!

Gohan: There's literally no way to defeat him!

Garlic Jr.: That's right, *fuckbois*!

Garlic Jr.: Now, behold...!

Garlic Jr.: The terrifying abyss that is the Dead Zone!

Garlic Jr.: For banishing me before, you shall suffer that same gruesome fate forever.

Garlic Jr.: And...

Garlic Jr.: Wait... Did I...?

Garlic Jr.: I just did it again, didn't I?

Garlic Jr.: I literally just did the exact same thing that got me an L last time!

Garlic Jr.: What am I doing?!

Garlic Jr.: This is exactly what my therapist told me not to do!

Kami: We're very proud of you for seeking help.

Garlic Jr.: I'm doing it for me, but I appreciate the support.

Garlic Jr.: Anyway...!

Garlic Jr.: Nobody move.

Garlic Jr.: Nobody do anything!

Garlic Jr.: I'm going to close it up, and then I'm going to let my immortality wear you down and--

Garlic Jr.: HEAUGH!

Alucard: Kept you waiting, huh?

Gohan: Uhh!

Gohan: What did I just *watch*?

Gohan: I mean... dream?

Gohan: Wow. I certainly wouldn't like and subscribe to that.

Gohan: Or hit that bell icon to stay updated with notifications.

Gohan: Definitely wouldn't check out any Patreon either.

Tutor: NO SLEEPING DURING YOUR LESSONS!

Tutor: LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!

Tutor: LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!