Episode 60 - Part 1 — transcript

0:16

Jimmy Firecracker: Folks at home... we here at ZTV *do not* condone child violence!

0:21

Jimmy Firecracker: We will, however, continue to bring it to you live in high-definition all thanks to our sponsors at HETAP: "When you're feeling sapped, bring the TAP!"

0:29

Piccolo: Goku.

0:30

Goku: Don't worry, Piccolo.

0:31

Goku: At some point, Cell's hand is going to cramp up, and then Gohan will—

0:35

Gohan: [groans in pain]

0:37

Goku: Oh God, FEET!

0:38

Goku: Gohan! Look out for low kicks!

0:41

Goku: Turtle, son!

0:42

Perfect Cell: [chuckling]

0:44

Perfect Cell: You're quite a treat to knock around, kid… durable like your father, but soft like your mother.

0:50

Perfect Cell: But if you think the only way to win is to not play, I have news for you, brat: You're playing the wrong game!

0:59

Gohan: [continues groaning in pain]

1:01

Piccolo: Gohan, DOD—!

1:04

Kami: 'You must be so proud.'

1:06

Nail: 'Your precious runt is becoming a man.'

1:09

Piccolo: 'Yeah, but… I mean, he could be dodging better.'

1:11

Jimmy Firecracker: Good gravy!

1:13

Jimmy Firecracker: This eleven-year-old child is currently fighting for his life!

1:17

Jimmy Firecracker: Methinks the Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far this time!

1:23

Perfect Cell: Game over, kid.

1:25

Gohan: [still groaning in pain]

1:31

Jimmy Firecracker: Dear sweet merciful *God*, I think…

1:35

Jimmy Firecracker: …HE'S DEAD!

1:37

Jimmy Firecracker: Can we show that on network television?

1:38

Jimmy Firecracker: I-I mean… we're live, so…

1:41

Ox King: Baby! Sweetheart, remember! You have another one coming!

1:45

[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]

1:47

Ox King: ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

1:50

Ox King: ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

1:54

Ox King: ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

1:57

Ox King: ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

2:05

Perfect Cell: Soooo, which one of you wants to try and describe the word "filicide" to Goku?

2:10

Perfect Cell: I'd ask Gohan, but… well, he's been "filicided".

2:13

Trunks: I'm actually not sure what it means either.

2:15

Krillin: I think it's when you murder a pony?

2:17

Piccolo: IT MEANS GOHAN IS DEAD…!

2:19

Piccolo: …AND IT'S YOUR FAULT, GOKU!

2:21

Piccolo: HE'S DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!

2:24

Goku: YO, GOHAN!

2:26

Goku: Stop hiding your power level and come on out, you goof!

2:30

Gohan: [exasperated sigh]

2:35

Perfect Cell: Oh, goody.

2:44

Gohan: C-can I say something?

2:45

Perfect Cell: I've been humoring you this entire time anyway, so why not?

2:49

Perfect Cell: But if you're looking to exchange barbs, I'd recommend cutting your teeth on something simpler first… like that embarrassment over there.

2:56

Mister Satan: Leave me out of this!

2:58

Gohan: I know why I'm here.

3:00

Gohan: I know why my Dad threw me to the biggest wolf in the woods.

3:03

Perfect Cell: Oh, trust me! I'll huff and puff and blow you down.

3:09

Krillin: HE'S ELEVEN!

3:10

Perfect Cell: I'M SIX!

3:11

Krillin: Wow(!)

3:12

Gohan: It's because whenever I get backed into a corner… I snap.

3:17

Gohan: And when I do… I hurt people.

3:21

Perfect Cell: Well, like, uh…

3:23

Perfect Cell: …w-what do you do to 'em?

3:24

Gohan: When I get angry... when I lose my mind… my power skyrockets and… everything goes red.

3:32

Gohan: The world around me just… fades away.

3:35

Gohan: And all I can see is the person I want to kill.

3:38

Gohan: Of course, I've never actually managed to beat anyone in the past, but… I think my Dad knows that… if I snap here…

3:45

Perfect Cell: Let me guess… "you'll kill me"?

3:48

Gohan: You said it, not me.

3:51

Perfect Cell: [reserved chuckling… into full-on maniacal cackling]

3:56

Perfect Cell: Well, threaten me with a good time!

3:59

Gohan: Huh?!

3:59

Perfect Cell: At first, you had my curiosity… but now you have my erection.★

4:04

Gohan: You mean your attent—?

4:06

Perfect Cell: You all know what I'm about!

4:09

Krillin: That's Freeza's move!

4:10

Krillin: The one he killed Vegeta with!

4:12

Krillin: Remember that, Vegeta?

4:13

Vegeta: I was there.

4:15

Krillin: You should really watch out for that.

4:16

Vegeta: Didn't Freeza blow you up?!

4:17

Krillin: Whoa-ho-ho, yeah!

4:19

Vegeta: "THEN YOU SHOULD REALLY WATCH OUT FOR THAT!"

4:21

Vegeta: That's you.

4:22

Krillin: …Team Three Star?

4:22

Vegeta: No!

4:23

Yamcha: What's that? Is that a club? Can I join?!

4:25

Vegeta: NO!

4:25

Krillin: NO!

4:28

Perfect Cell: So to be clear - when you break, I die!

4:31

Perfect Cell: Is that the gist of it?

4:33

Gohan: That would be the process of events, yes.

4:35

Perfect Cell: Well, then… let's see which breaks first.

4:38

Gohan: [screaming in agony]

4:40

Goku: 'Just according to cake.'★

4:45

Piccolo: In this endless pile of hay, Goku, THIS is the last straw!

4:50

Piccolo: If you don't go out there, your son— your flesh and blood will *die*!

4:55

Piccolo: No ifs, ands or buts!

4:57

Goku: But—

4:57

Piccolo: NO BUTS!!

4:58

Perfect Cell: Speaking of butts, which way do you think his organs are gonna come out?

5:02

Perfect Cell: Because I'm betting mouth, but I'm hoping…

5:05

Goku: I get what you're saying, but this is exactly what I've been planning out this whole time!

5:10

Piccolo: You?

5:11

Piccolo: What could you possibly—?

5:12

Goku: Why do you think Gohan and I went into the Time Chamber *after* Vegeta and Trunks?

5:17

Piccolo: …Ego?

5:17

Goku: Because if Gohan and I came out first, we'd've killed Cell right away.

5:22

Goku: But leaving that job to Vegeta?

5:25

Goku: Well… I mean, you saw what happened.

5:27

Piccolo: I'm… confused, because it sounds like you *knew* Vegeta would screw up.

5:32

Goku: Well, it was gonna be him or Krillin.

5:33

Piccolo: Oh my Go—

5:34

Piccolo: B-b-but how did you know he wouldn't just kill everyone after becoming perfect?!

5:38

Goku: I took care of *that* myself.

5:40

[flashback]

5:41

Goku: Oh, and, uh… Cell?

5:43

[flashback]

5:43

Goku: You're gonna die.

5:45

Goku: Cell would never pass that up… because I wouldn't.

5:48

Piccolo: Okay, but… but why Gohan?

5:51

Goku: Piccolo… I ain't gonna be around forever.

5:54

Goku: Sooner or later, death is gonna… stick, y'know?

5:58

Goku: So what then?

5:59

Goku: Someone's gotta be here when I'm not.

6:02

Goku: And when I was in the Chamber with him, I realized that… that person… is Gohan.

6:07

[bones crackling and popping]

6:07

Perfect Cell: Listen to those bones crackling and popping… so where's the *snap*, kiddo?!

6:14

Gohan: [squeaking]

6:15

Perfect Cell: HA!

6:16

Perfect Cell: Like father, like son!

6:18

Perfect Cell: WAIT, NO!

6:19

Perfect Cell: "Like father, like Son Gohan."

6:22

[snickering]

6:23

Perfect Cell: …Perfect.

6:24

Gohan: It was alright, Cell…

6:26

Piccolo: Well… seems like you thought of almost everything.

6:29

Goku: I just treated it like one big fight.

6:31

[sudden realization]

6:31

Goku: …Kinda like everything in my life.

6:33

Piccolo: Unfortunately, you skipped one small detail.

6:35

Goku: Whuzzat?

6:36

Piccolo: *GOHAN DOESN'T LIKE FIGHTING, YOU MORON*!!

6:39

Goku: Whaaaat?

6:40

Goku: Noooo…

6:42

Gohan: [screaming]

6:43

Goku: I mean…

6:43

Gohan: [screaming]

6:44

Goku: I mean… right?

6:44

Gohan: [screaming]

6:45

Piccolo: Have you ever, in your life, actually asked your son what he likes?

6:50

Goku: Umm… but he went in that Chamber with me for that whole year.

6:53

Piccolo: Because he wanted to spend time with YOU - his FATHER - the man who spends half his time training, and the other half dead!

7:00

Piccolo: SOMETIMES BOTH!

7:02

Goku: I mean… does anyone else—

7:04

Trunks: Yeah, a little bit.

7:04

Krillin: I mean…

7:04

Yamcha: Yeah.

7:04

Tien: Pretty hard to dispute.

7:05

Perfect Cell: Ehn, no one's perfect!

7:07

Goku: I've made a terrible mistake.

7:08

Piccolo: "OH, I'VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!"

7:10

Piccolo: That's you!

7:14

Goku: Krillin, I need another Senzu bean.

7:16

Krillin: Oh-ho-ho, no way, Gosé!

7:18

Gohan: [passing out]

7:18

Goku: Krillin, I'm serious! I'm gonna use it on me this time!

7:21

Krillin: "Krillin, I'm serious! I'm gonna use it on me this time!"

7:24

Krillin: That's you.

7:25

Perfect Cell: Uh, just a quick update, everyone; These are now tournament illegal.

7:29

Perfect Cell: A'ight, thank you.

7:30

[Sonic spring sound]

7:32

Krillin: Okay, that's my B.

7:33

Goku: It's alright, Krillin.

7:34

Goku: This is everybody's B.

7:36

Piccolo: I have done literally nothing wrong.

7:38

Tien: Yeah, join the club.

7:39

Yamcha: So there is a club.

7:42

Perfect Cell: I see now that not all roads lead to Rome.

7:45

Perfect Cell: Torture won't do the trick, so let's change up the game plan, shall we?

7:49

Perfect Cell: I'm going to drag each one of *them* down here and murder them until you finally give me what I want.

7:55

Gohan: N-no, please!

7:57

Perfect Cell: [shushing]

7:58

Perfect Cell: It's okay.

7:59

Perfect Cell: I'll save your dad for last.

8:02

Perfect Cell: Hear that, Piccolo?!

8:03

Piccolo: I mean, if you're just gonna say it—

8:05

Goku: I don't get it.

8:06

Gohan: Stay away from—!

8:07

[grunt of pain]

8:09

Perfect Cell: Sit down!

8:11

Perfect Cell: This might take a while.

8:13

Android 16: ENOUGH!

8:15

Perfect Cell: SIXTEEN?!

8:16

Perfect Cell: Listen, buddy, I'm thrilled that you're finally coming around to me, but your timing is less than ideal!

8:22

Jimmy Firecracker: And the Jolly Green Ginger has got Cell in a bear hug!

8:26

Jimmy Firecracker: Everybody's gettin' love today, folks!

8:29

Krillin: Bro-bot! Be careful!

8:30

Trunks: Stop calling him that!

8:32

Krillin: Don't judge our robromance!

8:34

Piccolo: What is he doing?

8:35

Android 16: Within me is a high-yield nuclear explosive.

8:38

Android 16: I am going to self-destruct and take Cell with me.

8:43

Android 16: …Also, probably most of you.

8:45

Android 16: That is my B.

8:46

Perfect Cell: I do not consent to this!

8:48

Android 16: Your compliance isn't a factor.

8:50

Perfect Cell: You had a chunk of your head missing!

8:52

Perfect Cell: How do you remember that?!

8:54

Krillin: Wait! You don't have to do this, bro-bot!

8:57

Krillin: You still have so much to live for!

8:58

Android 16: If I do not do this, Cell will continue to kill and destroy.

9:03

Android 16: …Also, I call dibs.

9:05

Android 16: If I cannot kill Goku, nobody will kill Goku!

9:09

Perfect Cell: We can split him, Sixteen!

9:11

Perfect Cell: In half!

9:12

Perfect Cell: Together!

9:13

Krillin: Wow!

9:14

Android 16: You cannot talk your way out of this one, Cell.

9:17

Android 16: My countdown has started.

9:19

Android 16: 10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0!

9:20

Jimmy Firecracker: What are the odds of outrunning a nuclear explosion?

9:22

Mister Satan: FIND ME A BOMB SHELTER!

9:24

Mister Satan: N-NO, A FRIDGE!

9:25

Perfect Cell: You're being really selfish right now!

9:27

Perfect Cell: I hope you know that!

9:29

Jimmy Firecracker: Larry...

9:30

Jimmy Firecracker: One more time, for old times' sake.

9:32

Larry: "Where there's smoke, there's Firecracker," sir.

9:36

Jimmy Firecracker: You're goddamn right.

9:39

Perfect Cell: Noooo...!

9:42

Everyone: [flinching]

9:45

Android 16: -1!

9:47

Android 16: -2!

9:49

Android 16: Negative—!

9:49

Android 16: A critical error has occurred.

9:51

Android 16: Where's the "kaboom"!?

9:53

Android 16: There was supposed to be a Cell-shattering "kaboom"!

9:57

Trunks: Oh, right.

9:57

Trunks: My Mom said she took out your bomb during repairs!

10:01

Android 16: WHO GAVE HER THE RIGHT?!

10:02

Perfect Cell: Well, Sixteen, not that this long embrace hasn't been heartwarming and all—

10:07

Perfect Cell: my endorphins are just going crazy right now—

10:09

Perfect Cell: but I have a child to break.

10:12

Perfect Cell: Now, if I'm correct, you were looking for a…

10:14

Perfect Cell: "kaboom"?

10:15

Android 16: If I said "no", would you still—?

10:18

Everyone: [gasping]

10:20

Krillin: NOOOO!

10:20

Everyone: [gasping]

10:27

Larry / Jimmy / Mister Satan: [screaming]

10:28

Bulma: SON OF A…!

10:29

Bulma: If I knew he was gonna go nuclear on Cell, I'd have left the stupid thing in him!

10:33

Roshi: Why'd you even take it out in the first place?

10:35

Bulma: Are you joking?!

10:37

Bulma: Imagine if he decided to blow his payload the first time he saw Goku!

10:40

Bulma: Try explaining *that* to Chi-Chi!

10:41

Bulma: "Whoops, sorry I let your husband and child get nuked, but the Hippocratic oath and all that."

10:46

Roshi: Bulma, I think you need to relax more.

10:48

Roshi: How's about a brewski?

10:49

Bulma: I'm still breast-feeding.

10:51

Roshi: Well, then, two of us are thirsty!

10:53

Baby Trunks: [coos adorably]

10:55

Roshi: You go, baby.

10:56

Baby Trunks: Mmmmilk.

10:58

Perfect Cell: Oh, Sixteen… I wanted you to be the wind beneath my wings, but all you've done is take the wind out of my sails.

11:06

Perfect Cell: Now I don't even feel like killing these fools.

11:09

Gohan: D-does that mean—?

11:10

Perfect Cell: Yes, kiddo, I'm not going to kill your daddies.

11:14

Perfect Cell: …*They are*.

11:16

Gohan: The implication being…?

11:18

Perfect Cell: [groaning suggestively]

11:20

Gohan: …Oh, my God.

11:21

Perfect Cell: [grunts of exertion]

11:24

Jimmy Firecracker: Ladies and gentlemen at home, the terrible Cell is now… doing one of two things—I'm pretty sure we can't show either on network television.

11:32

Perfect Cell: [grunting]

11:34

Piccolo: I don't understand!

11:36

Piccolo: Where's the egg?!

11:37

Perfect Cell: You did this to me!

11:39

Krillin: "Life, uh… finds a way…"

11:39

Perfect Cell: You all did this to me!

11:42

Vegeta: …to make me vomit!

11:46

Goku: Oh, this seems easy!

11:48

Goku: I don't get what Chi-Chi was complaining about!

11:50

Perfect Cell: Oh, good… alright.

11:52

Perfect Cell: Augh, fantastic!

11:54

Perfect Cell: That's gonna be doing that the rest of the day.

11:56

[groaning]

11:57

Perfect Cell: Goku, I've decided that your insistence on fighting your progeny would be best returned in kind.

12:03

Perfect Cell: So behold: MY CHILDREN!

12:07

Perfect Cell: Norio, Dameon, Travis, Curtis, Dale, and Jonathan.

12:11

Perfect Cell: Oh, and of course…

12:13

Perfect Cell: Vegeta Junior… Junior.

12:16

Vegeta Jr. Jr.: Veeeegeeeetaaaa…

12:19

Vegeta: It's like every nightmare I've ever had fused into one,

12:22

Vegeta: cloned itself, f***ed the clone and then made THOSE!

12:26

Piccolo: That is… terrifyingly accurate(!)

12:28

Perfect Cell: Gather 'round, children.

12:30

Perfect Cell: Daddy's set up a play date for you!

12:33

Perfect Cell: Now make sure you share your toys, don't leave Daddy's sight… and bring me the bodies.

12:39

Gohan: [gasping]

12:40

Perfect Cell: But most importantly, have fun!

12:44

Goku: Cell Juniors incoming!

12:45

Vegeta: We are NOT calling them that!

12:50

Vegeta Jr. Jr.: Vegeeeetaaaa…

12:52

Vegeta: [in stunned horror]

12:53

Vegeta Jr. Jr.: I'm fighting you.

12:57

Norio: You're too slow!

12:59

Krillin: Blue, blurry bastard!

13:02

Perfect Cell: Are they not precious, my own little family?

13:05

Perfect Cell: Now after I'm through with this worthless little planet, I'll have someone to accompany me as I trounce about the stars.

13:12

Perfect Cell: Perhaps I'll try conquering Namek… wear that hat for a little while.

13:15

Gohan: No…

13:16

Perfect Cell: Yeah, you're right. That's the Freeza talking.

13:19

Piccolo: So tell me, Goku: Where does THIS fit into your master plan?!

13:23

Goku: Well, you know what they say: "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the—"

13:27

Travis: Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am!

13:29

Gohan: P-Please!

13:30

Gohan: I take back what I said about my hidden power!

13:33

Gohan: I don't wanna fight you!

13:35

Gohan: This is my Dad's fight, not mine!

13:37

Gohan: So I'm begging you, just rein them in!

13:40

Gohan: Give my dad a Senzu bean and—

13:42

Perfect Cell: And there it is.

13:43

Gohan: Huh?

13:43

Perfect Cell: That right there… *that* is why I *despise* you.

13:47

Perfect Cell: You know what they all have in common?

13:50

Perfect Cell: The Saiyans might be fools, the humans might be weak, and the Namekian might not belong… but they're still out there fighting.

13:58

Perfect Cell: Not just for their lives, but for this *dung hill* of a world.

14:02

Krillin: [yelping in pain]

14:03

Perfect Cell: See? Even Krillin's doing his best!

14:06

Krillin: Thanks for noticing! NGH!

14:07

Krillin: I-I really try! AGH!

14:09

Gohan: KRILLIN!

14:10

Perfect Cell: But none of them, boy—NOT A ONE— shares that trait with you so vile, it drives me to retch(!)

14:18

Perfect Cell: You, Gohan… are a coward.

14:22

Gohan: No… I'm just a pacifist!

14:24

Perfect Cell: So a coward patting himself on the back.

14:27

Perfect Cell: Congratulations, pint-size, you can stand proud next to the bodies.

14:31

Yamcha: HI-YAH!

14:34

Yamcha: …Please don't break my arm.

14:35

Damien: Hmm… no.

14:36

[bones cracking]

14:37

Yamcha: [pained shrieking]

14:39

Yamcha: My baseball career!

14:42

Jimmy Firecracker: Dear viewers, it looks like Cell's gone full septo-mom, with seven sinister spawns!

14:49

Jimmy Firecracker: Mr. Satan, do you have a plan to deal with these terrifying toddlers?

14:53

Jimmy Firecracker: These chilling children?!

14:54

Jimmy Firecracker: These… prepubescent predators?!

14:58

Mister Satan: Uhh… y'see, Jimmy, those aren't actually children.

15:02

Mister Satan: They're dwarves paid to fight on his behalf!

15:04

Mister Satan: And honestly, I bet you they ain't even payin' 'em industry rates!

15:08

Mister Satan: I tell ya, Jimmy, the way little people are treated in show business… oh, it's downright criminal!

15:14

Mister Satan: I-I'm gonna go right now and look up their agents, and give 'em a piece of my—

15:18

Android 16: Excuse me.

15:19

Mister Satan: Yeep!

15:19

Android 16: Excuse me.

15:20

[creaking]

15:22

Android 16: I seem to be without a body.

15:24

Android 16: Would you mind lending me yours?

15:25

Larry / Mister Satan / Jimmy: [screaming]

15:28

Android 16: Why are you screaming?

15:28

Larry / Mister Satan / Jimmy: [screaming]

15:29

Jimmy Firecracker: Because you're a talking head!

15:31

Android 16: So are you.

15:33

Jimmy Firecracker: That… is cutting, sir.

15:35

Android 16: I need one of you to give me a hand.

15:38

Android 16: I must get close to Cell and the boy, so one of you will need to get me there.

15:43

Android 16: I believe that I know a way to finally put an end to this madness.

15:47

Jimmy Firecracker: Are you crazy?!

15:48

Jimmy Firecracker: What makes you think we're going anywhere *near* that war zone?!

15:52

Mister Satan: I'll do it.

15:53

Jimmy Firecracker: Mr. Satan?

15:54

Mister Satan: I have a daughter at home, Jimmy.

15:57

Mister Satan: A little girl about the age of that boy out there.

16:00

Mister Satan: And right now, I'm being told I might be able to save the world, and all I gotta do is throw this robot's head in spitting distance of that crazy killer bug-monster?

16:09

Mister Satan: Sure… that may sound crazy—

16:12

Jimmy Firecracker: No, it's definitely crazy. Larry?

16:14

Larry: I have been finding God throughout this entire experience.

16:18

Mister Satan: Well then, who better to leave it to than the World Martial Arts champ, Mr. Satan?

16:25

Mister Satan: And besides, what'd I tell you, Jimmy?

16:28

Mister Satan: …'s all a bunch o' tricks.

16:30

Android 16: They are not. You could die.

16:32

Mister Satan: Do you have a mute button or something?

16:34

Android 16: Not anymore.

16:36

Yamcha: [repeated screams]

16:36

Perfect Cell: 'Damien sure is kicking the shit out of Yamcha.'

16:36

Yamcha: [repeated screaming]

16:39

Perfect Cell: 'It's like a metaphor.'

16:41

Perfect Cell: 'Ugh, he honestly doesn't deserve this.'

16:43

Perfect Cell: 'Mm, buuuut it's still funny.'

16:46

Gohan: Hey!

16:47

Perfect Cell: Hm?

16:48

Gohan: I'm gonna… I'm gonna… r-rip off your head and… umm—

16:54

Perfect Cell: Oh, yeah? C'mon, c'mon, you can do it.

16:55

Perfect Cell: I believe in you.

16:57

Gohan: …and… and defecate…

17:00

Perfect Cell: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

17:01

Gohan: …on your… lunch?

17:05

Perfect Cell: [disappointed sigh]

17:06

Perfect Cell: Now you're just embarrassing us both.

17:08

Perfect Cell: Seriously, *how hard* is it to piss off an eleven-year-old?!

17:12

Perfect Cell: You should be a stomping mess from me taking a toy away!

17:15

Perfect Cell: Meanwhile, your friends and family are getting beaten into mulch, and all you can do is… cry??

17:21

Perfect Cell: And now he's *crying*?!

17:23

Perfect Cell: *Are you SERIOUS*?!

17:25

Perfect Cell: That's it—kids, put your toys away. We're going home.

17:28

Gohan: Wait…!

17:29

Perfect Cell: And to be clear, I mean "kill them all so I can blow up this shithole and find something better to do".

17:34

Perfect Cell: Waste of my f***ing Sunday.

17:37

Gohan: Hold on!

17:38

Gohan: I'm just one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to—!

17:42

Perfect Cell: Everything! You say to me! Is pissing me off!

17:46

Perfect Cell: You had your chance, kid!

17:48

Perfect Cell: And in the end… it didn't even matter.

17:52

Android 16: WAIT! Ow. Ow. Ow.

17:54

Perfect Cell: Hm?

17:54

Gohan: Huh?

17:59

Android 16: Thank you for your assistance…

18:01

Mister Satan: Don't name me…!

18:02

Android 16: …Mr. Satan.

18:04

Perfect Cell: Kids, when you're done with them,

18:05

Perfect Cell: draw and quarter *that* buffoon.

18:06

Mister Satan: [wailing]

18:09

Perfect Cell: As for you, I'm surprised you're still…

18:12

Perfect Cell: …well, I was going to say "kicking", but—

18:14

Android 16: Gohan.

18:15

Gohan: Huh?

18:15

Perfect Cell: Alright, fine, fine then. You talk to him, Jesus.

18:17

Gohan: Wha… what are you—?

18:19

Android 16: Grow. Up.

18:21

Gohan: …Huh?

18:22

Android 16: You act like you are the only one suffering, but I believe that Trunks has some stories for you.

18:28

Android 16: And I can assume they all end with, "And then he died, too."

18:33

Android 16: And before you start whining about your father, again—and I get it— take a moment to consider that my father made me a soulless killing machine to kill your father.

18:45

Android 16: And that doesn't even come close to the complete tragedy of fatherhood that is Vegeta.

18:50

Vegeta: You wanna come up here and say that?!

18:52

Android 16: I am a *head*.

18:53

Vegeta: Then maybe you should quit while you are!

18:55

Android 16: Cell was right.

18:57

Android 16: You think you're better than everyone else, but there you stand: the good man doing nothing.

19:03

Android 16: And while evil triumphs, and your rigid pacifism crumbles into blood-stained dust, the only victory afforded to you is that you stuck true to your guns.

19:14

Android 16: You were a coward… to your last whimper.

19:18

Android 16: Of fear and love, I fear not that I will die, but that all I have come to love: the birds, and the things that are not birds, will perish with me.