Episode 53
13:16 · 191 lines · YouTube · 1 saved quote
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[Techno music; sounds of ki attacks]
0:22 Goku: Boy, I'm glad you're a Super Saiyan now; I've needed a good training partner!
0:32 Goku: I don't know Trunks very well, and Vegeta's always so busy... and angry.
0:39 Goku: I'm not gonna lie; sometimes, I think he doesn't like me.
0:46 Goku: I mean, who wouldn't like *me*?
0:49 Gohan: Maybe you're just too good.
0:51 Goku: Na-haw, I'm just Goku! And speaking of Goku, IT'S LUNCH TI--!
0:59 Gohan: Well, guess we don't know what time it is anymore, huh? (Chuckling)
1:02 Goku: Don't break Popo's stuff don't break Popo's stuff don't break Popo's stuff don't break Popo's stuff don't break Popo's stuff
1:03 Gohan: (Calming down)
1:04 Gohan: Uh... Dad?
1:06 Gohan: ...
1:07 Gohan: What're you muttering?
1:08 Goku: SIXTH RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING!
1:11 [♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
1:12 ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
1:16 ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
1:20 ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
1:23 ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
1:31 Trunks: Aaah!
1:33 Trunks: Aaaaahh!!
1:34 Trunks: Aaaaaaahhh!!!
1:36 Trunks: Aaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!
1:38 Perfect Cell: Good Lord, the lungs on that boy!
1:38 [Trunks continues to yell during his power-up]
1:41 Krillin: You OK, Trunks? You, uh, doin' good on air--
1:44 [ZAP]
1:44 Krillin: dehyeyeyagh!
1:46 Piccolo: And *there's* the twist.
1:47 Bulma: Not to be a broken record, but...
1:50 Piccolo: Right, so uh, no worries, your uh... huh, I was gonna say husband, but... well, I was gonna say boyfriend, but--
1:58 Tien: Your baby-daddy is still breathing.
2:00 Piccolo: Yeah, barely.
2:01 Bulma: Well, that's a relief.
2:03 Piccolo: On the other hand, Trunks is about to fight Cell.
2:05 Bulma: What?! But he's just a baby!
2:09 Bulma: Oh-hoh, right... the future one...
2:12 Bulma: But he's just a baby!
2:15 Krillin: OK, ya done?
2:16 Trunks: Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry about that!
2:18 Krillin: Hey man, it's fine.
2:20 Trunks: My power was rising, I couldn't control it.
2:22 Krillin: No, it's good, go kill him!
2:23 Trunks: Definitely didn't do that because you spared the Android or anything...
2:26 Krillin: Well, obviously.
2:28 Krillin: ...Right?
2:29 Perfect Cell: You know, if I had a watch, I'd be looking at my wrist reeaaally condescendingly right now...
2:35 Trunks: Krillin, take this. Give it to my father.
2:38 Krillin: You... sure you won't need it?
2:40 Trunks: No. This battle was over before it began.
2:45 Krillin: BAD-ASS!
2:46 Perfect Cell: Also accurate!
2:53 Android 16: Trunks! Senzu beans heal physical damage! Only therapy will aid emotional trauma.
3:00 Perfect Cell: Oh, please. There's not a shrink qualified enough to deal with that hot mess.
3:04 Perfect Cell: And, speaking of shrink...
3:06 Krillin: Here it comes...
3:07 Perfect Cell: Krillin, go kiss the Prince's booboos. The big boys need to talk.
3:13 Krillin: Fine, whatever. Leave ya to it. Say goodbye, Vegeta!
3:16 Vegeta: (Gurgling)
3:19 Trunks: I'm going to make you pay in blood for what you did to him!
3:23 Perfect Cell: Oh don't lie, boy scout; that *must* have been catharsis by proxy. (Chuckle)
3:28 Perfect Cell: He's gonna be waking up for the next five years in a cold *sweat* remembering today!
3:32 Perfect Cell: (Chuckle)
3:32 Trunks: I'm not a psychopath like--
3:34 Perfect Cell: Kind of like you!
3:36 Trunks: Like me??
3:37 Perfect Cell: Does Gohan know, by the way?
3:39 Trunks: Does he know what?
3:41 Perfect Cell: That you let him die.
3:46 Trunks: I'm going to power up now.
3:47 Perfect Cell: I'd be disappointed if you didn't!
3:49 Trunks: (Yelling)
3:56 Tien: That's Trunks?!
3:57 Piccolo: Yeah, pretty astonishing, isn't it?
3:59 Tien: It's in*furiating*!
4:01 Piccolo: Why? Because the gap keeps widening?
4:02 Tien: Because he could've: A) Killed Android 18 B) Killed Cell Or C) Killed Vegeta!
4:10 Piccolo: Why Vegeta?
4:11 Tien: Because I deserve SOMETHING today!
4:14 [Trunks' screaming continues]
4:20 Perfect Cell: That's right, keep it coming, boy! I want a *real* fight this time!
4:24 Trunks: Don't you worry! I'll show you just how much stronger I am than my father!
4:29 Perfect Cell: Your fathe--?
4:30 Perfect Cell: Oh, no, I'm sorry, I wasn't being specific. I'm referring to the *last* time we met.
4:36 Perfect Cell: Of course you wouldn't remember, because you weren't there. (Chuckle)
4:40 Perfect Cell: I mean, you were, buuuuttt~...
4:42 Trunks: GET TO THE POINT!
4:44 Perfect Cell: Alright kiddo, tell me: What do you know about time travel?
4:49 Trunks: Less than I should...
4:50 Perfect Cell: Well, how do you suppose I got here?
4:53 Trunks: Well, my Time Machine, obviously.
4:55 Perfect Cell: Ya-huh; and how do you think I *got* said Time Machine?
4:59 Trunks: ...I don't wanna answer that...
5:00 Perfect Cell: Here's the thing: Multiverse theory's a *bitch*.
5:04 Perfect Cell: Fact is, you - or at least, another you - traveled to the past, saved the world, came back to your future, and finally defeated the Androids.
5:13 Perfect Cell: Congratulations, son. You *won*!
5:16 Trunks: But wait, then when did you--
5:17 Perfect Cell: So you decided to *celebrate*!
5:20 Perfect Cell: Head back to the past, get your hair ruffled, and finally get that *thumbs up* from daddy dearest!
5:27 Perfect Cell: But you made one. Fatal. Mistake.
5:31 Perfect Cell: You took away what was *mine*!
5:35 [Flashback Trunks screaming]
5:39 Perfect Cell: Unfortunately, I couldn't fit in your Time Machine, so I had to revert to my larval stage, made the trip to a year before *you* showed up, burrowed underground for four years, and w-well... the rest is history.
5:51 Trunks: Then... you're here...!
5:52 Perfect Cell: Because of *you*!
5:54 Perfect Cell: But please don't beat yourself up. (Chuckle)
5:57 Perfect Cell: You're just a child, playing hero... complete with spandex.
6:03 Trunks: And you are just another mistake that I have to correct.
6:07 [Powering up]
6:15 [Cell chuckles (again)]
6:16 [Trunks continues to yell (again)]
6:38 Perfect Cell: I'm impressed! Behind all that angst and ridiculous hair, there's a real fighter!
6:44 Trunks: And behind all that insufferable smarm is a *dead man*!
6:49 Perfect Cell: Trunks... you couldn't fathom the amount of dead men behind me!
7:05 Android 16: Go, unreasonably buff bird!
7:31 Trunks: Now that might not have done a lot of damage... but *damn* did it feel good!
7:36 Perfect Cell: Oh-ho-ho~? Am I sensing an iota of pride?
7:41 Perfect Cell: Guess the apple doesn't fall far if ya *shake* the tree hard enough!
7:45 Trunks: That snark isn't going to save you while I'm taking you apart.
7:48 Trunks: If you haven't noticed, I've LITERALLY got you against the wall.
7:52 Perfect Cell: And don't think I don't appreciate the effort.
7:54 Perfect Cell: By a wide margin, you're packing more of a wallop than daddy ever did!
7:58 Perfect Cell: However... you will never... *ever*... defeat me with that form.
8:05 Gohan: But why? It's so *strong*!
8:07 Goku: Oh yeah! In raw power, it can't be beat.
8:11 Goku: But the amount of concentrated energy causes an extreme expansion in mass. The body can't compensate.
8:16 Goku: And while you'll see a fifty percent power increase, you'll see a seventy-five percent *de*crease in speed AND mobility.
8:23 Goku: You'd never hit your opponent.
8:27 Gohan: Did-did you...?
8:28 Gohan: What just...?
8:29 Goku: Whoop, sorry! Was thinkin' about fightin'.
8:31 Gohan: I'm not sure what just happened.
8:33 Goku: Silly Gohan! In a lame-man's terms:
8:37 Perfect Cell: You. Can't. Hit me.
8:39 Trunks: Then what do you call the last five minutes?!
8:42 Perfect Cell: Pity...
8:42 Trunks: Hrrrgh!
8:43 Android 16: Trunks! Do not worry! He is just playing you.
8:48 [Perfect Cell hums to himself under Trunks' ineffectual onslaught]
8:52 Android 16: Correction: He's *been* playing you.
8:58 Trunks: Why?! T-*how*?!
9:00 Perfect Cell: Because you're green.
9:02 Trunks: ...Wait, you mean...
9:03 Perfect Cell: No, not like me you idiot; as in, you're a novice, an amateur!
9:08 Perfect Cell: You're surrounded by fighters who have seen more action in a week than you've seen in your ENTIRE LIFE.
9:13 Perfect Cell: Hell, at your age, Goku had defeated an entire army, several demons, and sent a rabbit to the moon!
9:19 Trunks: Did... did you make that last one u--?
9:22 Perfect Cell: And the worst part of it is, that form isn't even new. Watch.
9:27 Perfect Cell: "Look at me, I'm Trunks! Please love me Daaaad~!"
9:31 Perfect Cell: See? Anyone can do it.
9:33 Trunks: ...That's a terrible impression.
9:34 Android 16: But not inaccurate!
9:36 Trunks: Why are you still here?!
9:38 Perfect Cell: For God's sake, I bet even your *father* can do it; he's just not stupid enough to try!
9:43 Perfect Cell: And as we've seen today, that threshold is vast...
9:47 Perfect Cell: Now, how about you come on down, stop using that useless form... and quit wasting everyone's time?
9:58 Perfect Cell: Jeez, I can't tell which is more shattered; your father's body or your spirit...
10:03 Trunks: Just get it over with and kill me already...
10:06 Perfect Cell: Whoa, and spirit it is! Seriously bucko, way to bring down the mood.
10:10 Trunks: Is this all just a game to you?!
10:12 Perfect Cell: A game? Hardly.
10:14 Perfect Cell: If this were a game, I'd be having fun... or killing Goku.
10:19 Perfect Cell: Now *that* sounds like a good time.
10:21 Android 16: That still doesn't make us friends!
10:23 Perfect Cell: I'M TRYING, SIXTEEN!
10:25 Trunks: Fine! Go ahead. Fight Goku.
10:29 Trunks: But when he wins, and when YOU DIE... NOBODY... is going to remember you.
10:37 Perfect Cell: Huh...
10:38 Perfect Cell: Alright; change of plans.
10:40 Perfect Cell: Turn that frown upside-down, boy scout! You're not dying today.
10:44 Trunks: What in the...? WHY?
10:46 Perfect Cell: Careful, junior; don't want that gift horse to *bite you*!
10:49 Perfect Cell: You've just given me an idea is all. What *would* I accomplish killing you here?
10:54 Perfect Cell: No... the whole world needs to see what it's created.
10:58 Trunks: Oh, what the *hell* are you planning now?!
11:01 Perfect Cell: *My revolution*...
11:04 Perfect Cell: Go take care of your daddy. And make sure to check the news!
11:18 Android 16: ...WHAT CHANNEL?!★
11:20 [♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
11:29 Krillin: Well, time to see how well Senzu beans do with a broken spine!
11:32 Vegeta: (Groans)
11:34 [GULP]
11:35 Vegeta: (Gasp) Where am I?! What happened?!
11:38 Krillin: You *may* have blacked out a little bit...
11:41 Vegeta: But I'm still alive! H-he must have realized his mistake and run away...
11:45 Vegeta: (Slight chuckle)
11:45 Krillin: Dude, c'mon, it's just me.
11:48 Vegeta: I... I don't get it... I trained so hard... I reached a new level...! And yet...!
11:54 Krillin: *Trust* me man, I get you. I mean, my neck's still stiff from earlier.
11:58 Vegeta: (Sniff)... Heh.
12:00 Krillin: I mean, if I had a dime for every time I had my ass kicked, I might not be in crippling debt! (Laughing)
12:05 Vegeta: (Laughing)
12:07 Krillin: But, but if I had gotten a beat down like that, *man*, I would've hung up my gloves, my blue spandex, and my ridiculously pointy hair!
12:11 Vegeta: (Calms down)
12:12 Vegeta: Hnnn!
12:14 Krillin: Hahaha, ah-ha, ah-- heeeyy you're not laughing anymore...!
12:18 [THUMP]
12:18 [DING]
12:18 [Krillin's usual noises]
12:20 Krillin: Could I get a dime for that?
12:23 Trunks: Um... hey... um, if you liked the video, please like and subscribe...
12:29 Trunks: And uh... uh... check out... the gaming channel? Uh, they're... playing Doom! Um...
12:38 Trunks: Oh! And, uh, the Tenkaichi Ironman Budokai Abridgathon. Where you can be the best abridger ever! Uh, maybe... I guess...?
12:47 Trunks: Sorry... I guess it's just a little weird that I'm not... *dead*...
12:53 Trunks: Oh, uh, they also have a patreon... and... shirts over on sharkrobot.com... huh...
13:01 Trunks: Well, uh... if you don't mind me, I'm gonna go uh... I'm gonna go have a sit.
13:10 [MLB]