← All episodes

Episode 51

15:23 · 268 lines · YouTube · 3 saved quotes

0:11
[Goku sings to the tune of "Giant Woman"]
1:08
Gohan: I'LL WRECK YOUR HOMEWORL--
1:10
Goku: Hey, son!
1:10
Gohan: Uh, uhh...?
1:11
Gohan: Were you... watching me sleep?
1:15
Goku: Like a papa hawk.
1:16
Goku: I don't wanna miss the MOMENT you go Super Saiyan.
1:20
Gohan: Wow! It's been nearly three months in here, and... you still think I can do it?
1:24
Goku: Well, yeah! If you don't, the whole world'll be doomed!
1:28
Goku: Or not... maybe I can handle it... so don't sweat it!
1:32
Goku: And get some sleep, son!
1:34
Gohan: Uhh... yeah, okay...
1:38
Goku: ''Cause tomorrow... I'mma get you Super Saiyan.'
1:43
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
1:45
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
1:48
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
1:52
♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
1:55
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
2:03
Piccolo: Naw, see, I'm *definitely* going with Krillin. Call it a safe bet, but I think his history speaks for itself.
2:09
Tien: You haven't known him as long as I have. Sure, he can be a little... (Sigh), well, he's a total bitch. But when we really need him, he's always stepped up.
2:18
Tien: Vegeta, on the other hand...
2:20
Bulma: Hey, uh, what're you two talking about?
2:23
Piccolo: Aw, we're just making a bet to see who screws this up.
2:25
Tien: See - he's betting on Krillin, but I'm betting on Vegeta.
2:29
Bulma: Ohhh... I'll get in on that action.
2:29
Baby Trunks: (Cooing)
2:32
Piccolo: Okay - Vegeta or Krillin?
2:34
Baby Trunks: (Cooing)
2:34
Bulma: Both.
2:35
Piccolo: *Wow*.
2:35
Tien: *Damn*!
2:36
Bulma: Eh, please, I've been in this longer than the both of you.
2:39
Bulma: Although, if I had to pick who's gonna screw up first...
2:43
Trunks: (Screaming from a distance)
2:43
Krillin: 'Okay Krillin, pull yourself together.'
2:45
Krillin: 'She's right over there... standing there like a... mechanical angel... and all I have to do is push this button and... watch her explode...!'
2:55
[Trunks' screaming fades out]
2:57
Krillin: 'Everywhere.'
2:59
Krillin: 'Little bit of blonde hair here... her blue eyes there... and then it's done! I m--I mean, she probably won't even feel it!'
3:07
Krillin: 'Or even know it happened - just her life... ended in an instant... by me... with no Dragon Balls to wish her back when Cell dies...'
3:17
Krillin: 'D--Oh c'mon, Krillin! Be strong for one second in your worthless life and push the stupid button!'
3:23
Krillin: 'If you don't, everyone you know and love is going to die!'
3:26
Krillin: 'INCLUDING HER!'
3:29
Krillin: 'Oh...'
3:31
Trunks: ...aaaaaaaaaaa--!
3:33
Vegeta: Quiet, boy!
3:34
Trunks: Hnnng!
3:35
Vegeta: Now... continue.
3:37
Semi-Perfect Cell: Thank you.
3:38
Semi-Perfect Cell: You see, my dear Prince--
3:40
Vegeta: Don't push it.
3:41
Semi-Perfect Cell: Uh, you see, Vegeta, this is only my second form. I am merely *semi*-perfect.
3:48
Vegeta: Wait, how can you be *semi*-perfect? You're either *perfect* or you're *not* me; there's no gray area.
3:53
Semi-Perfect Cell: My point, is that this form was achieved by absorbing my brother, Android 17... and the only way I may obtain *true* perfection...
4:02
Vegeta: ...is to absorb the *bitch*. So in summation: You get the Android, and I get a proper challenge.
4:09
Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh, I promise you Vegeta... you're going to get everything that's coming to you.
4:16
Vegeta: Ohoho, ominous!
4:18
Android 18: He wouldn't...! Sixteen, he wouldn't, would he?!
4:21
Android 16: Wouldn't you?
4:22
Android 18: *No*!
4:23
Android 16: I'm sorry... what are we talking about again?
4:25
Android 18: Huh?!
4:25
Krillin: Hey!
4:26
Krillin: 'Whoa, it's the cute one.'
4:28
Krillin: 'Was he hiding there?'
4:30
Krillin: 'Wait, what's that on the grou--'
4:31
Krillin: Oh my God (!)
4:32
Krillin: H... hi...!
4:34
Android 18: Uh, hey...
4:36
Krillin: Look, I just... can I ask something of you?
4:39
Android 18: S-sure?
4:41
Krillin: Un, g-g-gh-gh, *please* don't kill anyone!
4:44
Android 18: Wait, are you--
4:44
Android 16: NO DEAL!
4:46
Android 18: Sixteen!
4:46
Android 16: Son Goku is a person; therefore he is *part* of "anyone".
4:51
Android 16: *Therefore*: No. Deal.
4:53
Android 18: Sixteen, calm down, I will *get* you a Goku!
4:57
Android 16: ...Do you promise?
4:58
Android 18: Yes!
4:59
Android 16: ...Proceed.
5:00
Android 18: Okay, now listen: We weren't planning on killing anyone.
5:04
Android 16: Except Goku!
5:05
Android 18: We haven't even killed anyone thus far. In fact, the only thing we want *dead* right now is *Cell*.
5:11
Android 16: Also Goku!
5:12
Krillin: Oh.
5:13
Krillin: Thank God, that makes this so much easier!
5:17
Piccolo: HA! And *you* owe me some zeni!
5:19
Tien: Oh *no*...!
5:20
Bulma: Alright, what did Krillin do?
5:22
Piccolo: He crushed the remote.
5:23
Tien: He did WHAT?!
5:25
Bulma: That was twenty hours of my life; that DICK!
5:28
Piccolo: And possibly the rest of it if Vegeta follows suit.
5:31
Tien: I don't understand! All he had to do was push the button and blow up the--
5:36
Tien: ...*the girl*.
5:37
Bulma: Oh, that makes sense.
5:38
Piccolo: I don't get it.
5:39
Tien: He really did it... he actually risked every life on the planet just for...
5:44
Tien: for *cyber-sex*!
5:46
Tien: I didn't Kikoho myself half to death so he could get laid!!
5:50
Piccolo: Oh...
5:51
Piccolo: gross.
5:53
Android 18: Oh... oh wow... well, I mean, that was... really sweet and all, but... maybe you should've kept that around.
6:01
Krillin: What? *Why*?
6:03
Semi-Perfect Cell: Vegeta, this is the only chance you're going to get.
6:07
Semi-Perfect Cell: If she slips away now, you'll never get the opportunity to fight me at my full potential.
6:12
Semi-Perfect Cell: And let's be honest: Do you really think *Goku* can give you the challenge you deserve?
6:20
Vegeta: Ya know, the funny thing is, I know you're playin' me...
6:24
Vegeta: but you're right. She's all yours.
6:27
Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh-ho, thank you Vegeta!
6:29
Semi-Perfect Cell: Trust me - great things are about to happen...
6:34
Piccolo: Oh no, god *damn* him!
6:36
Bulma: Okay, now what did *Vegeta* do?
6:38
Piccolo: He's letting Cell absorb Eighteen!
6:41
Tien: Well, looks like nobody wins...
6:43
Bulma: Well, I technically do.
6:45
Baby Trunks: (Cooing)
6:45
Bulma: ♪ You guys owe me zeeeniii~ ♪
6:47
Piccolo: CELL IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!
6:50
Baby Trunks: (Crying)
6:51
Mr. Popo: Jeez, bring down the whole mood, why don't you?
6:51
Baby Trunks: (Crying)
6:54
Vegeta: Make it snappy! The boy's gotta be in bed by seven or he gets cranky.
6:59
Semi-Perfect Cell: Huh!
7:00
Trunks: Yeah, so I'm gonna be the only voice of reason here and say *absolutely not*!
7:05
Semi-Perfect Cell: Hurrgh!
7:06
Trunks: Don't you get it?! He's just been feeding you everything you wanna hear!
7:10
Trunks: He's playing you!
7:12
Semi-Perfect Cell: To be fair, I haven't lied since I got here.
7:15
Trunks: You're not involved in this anymore!
7:17
Semi-Perfect Cell: I'm feeling pretty involved...
7:18
Vegeta: *Boy*, don't make me come up there and be a parent!
7:22
Trunks: First time for everything!
7:23
Vegeta: Ohoho!
7:25
Semi-Perfect Cell: WOW, Vegeta, are you just gonna stand there and take th--
7:29
Semi-Perfect Cell: (Gasp)
7:30
[Drooling in shock]
7:32
Trunks: 'Huh? Why is he doing th-- ...oh... oh no...'
7:37
[Cell's drooling fades out]
7:37
Trunks: 'wait, but there's Krillin! Does he have the--'
7:40
Trunks: '...no...! But, why?! He... why?! But, the Android! Krillin... crushed remote! But... could turn... perfect! Crushed! Why?! Kril--? But... *twenty hours*!'
7:45
[Cell still drooling]
7:48
[Cell drooling louder]
7:52
[Noises Cell shouldn't be making]
7:54
Trunks: *WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU*?!?!
7:57
Krillin: Oh hey, it's Trunks!
7:58
Semi-Perfect Cell: Hurrgh...!
7:59
Krillin: (manly scream)
8:00
Trunks: I said absolutely NOT!
8:02
Semi-Perfect Cell: ARGH!
8:03
Trunks: 'Huh, Vegeta was right. He *is* almost as strong as--'
8:06
Trunks: AAUGH!
8:09
Vegeta: Look, if this is about getting your own turn in, just wait until I'm done with him!
8:13
Trunks: Just ignore him. Krillin! Get the Androids out of here NOW!
8:17
Krillin: Don't need to tell me twice! Or at all, actually...
8:19
Krillin: Let's go!
8:20
Android 18: Right! [To 16] Sixteen, let's move!
8:22
Android 16: But I just got comfortable...
8:24
Android 18: Sixteen!
8:26
Android 16: More importantly, Cell is only after you. I will slow you down.
8:31
Android 16: Now go!
8:32
Android 18: Fine, but I'm coming back for you!
8:35
Krillin: You're doing a brave thing.
8:37
Android 16: As are you.
8:40
Android 16: You are way out of your league, tiny duck.
8:42
Krillin: So hey, I know this isn't the best time, but um-er-uh, are you seeing anyone right now?
8:47
[BOOM]
8:47
Android 18: ARGH!
8:47
Krillin: ERGH!
8:49
Semi-Perfect Cell: She *is*.
8:51
Trunks: There you are!
8:53
Semi-Perfect Cell: Vegetaaa~! Trunks is picking on meee~!
8:56
Vegeta: Learn to share, brat!
8:57
Trunks: Huh?
8:57
Trunks: D'AAGH! AUGH! Ah-hah!
8:59
Semi-Perfect Cell: That's better.
9:00
Semi-Perfect Cell: Now, Eighteen... I'm not sure I like you hanging around with other men. Or in this case... half of one.
9:08
Krillin: Oh-yeah-no-the-short-joke-yeah-sure-fine...
9:10
Android 16: How about you leave the girl alone?
9:13
Semi-Perfect Cell: C'mon Sixteen, don't be so jealous. This is meant to be, and she knows it. Just look at what she's wearing! She's practically *asking* to be absorbed!
9:24
Krillin: Okay, that line has been *crossed*. You wanna go, big guy?!
9:29
Krillin: LET'S GO--!
9:30
Krillin: AAGH!
9:31
[DING]
9:31
Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh no, who would've seen that coming?
9:33
Semi-Perfect Cell: Anyway--
9:35
Semi-Perfect Cell: ...Really?
9:37
Semi-Perfect Cell: Oh, you precious little cinnamon bun! Never change!
9:41
Android 16: B'AAGH!
9:42
Android 18: Haah!
9:43
Semi-Perfect Cell: 'A one-y and a two-ey and a you-know-what-to-do-ey!'
9:45
Android 18: AAGH!
9:50
Trunks: That is IT! I am stopping this now!
9:53
Vegeta: Oh?! What're you doin'?!
9:54
Trunks: What am I doing?!
9:55
Vegeta: Thwartin' ma plans?!
9:56
Trunks: Thwarting your plans?!
9:57
Vegeta: *Are you*?!
9:59
Trunks: ...You know what?!★
10:00
Trunks: *YES*!!
10:01
Vegeta: SSPLAAAARRRGGHH...!!!
10:05
[KLING]
10:07
Krillin: 'Oh, God...'
10:08
Krillin: 'If I had a nose, I'm pretty sure it'd be broken.'
10:12
Krillin: (Gasp)
10:13
Krillin: Oh no...!
10:14
Krillin: You leave her alone or I SWEAR I'LL--
10:16
Android 16: No, little duckling! It is not your time!
10:19
[Cell humming his own theme song]
10:29
[Evil laughter]
10:33
Trunks: FUTURE KICK!
10:34
Semi-Perfect Cell: What?
10:35
Semi-Perfect Cell: D'ooargh!
10:36
Trunks: Blow yourself up or leave! I don't care which!
10:40
Android 18: Yeah, okay...!
10:41
Semi-Perfect Cell: (Grunting)
10:42
Semi-Perfect Cell: I hope you know, this means wa-- wahglbrrlgbllgngrnbglrbglgrl!
10:48
Trunks: Where is Vegeta...?
10:49
Semi-Perfect Cell: Ur-urgh...!
10:49
Trunks: Duh!
10:51
Android 18: C'mon Sixteen, *move it*!
10:53
Android 16: Why. Are You. Still Here?!
10:56
Android 18: It's like Seventeen said, remember? The Three Amigos? Well, I guess more like... Dos Compadres, now...
11:03
Krillin: Here, uh, allow me. I might not be good for much but, I can lift.
11:08
Android 18: 'If we make it through this, I am going to ROCK his four-foot world.'
11:16
Vegeta: Huh.
11:17
Vegeta: This is a new feeling.
11:18
Vegeta: Pride in someone else.
11:22
Vegeta: Unfortunately, it's overshadowed by all this UNYIELDING RAGE!!!
11:28
Semi-Perfect Cell: ...glbrrlgbllgngrnbglrbglgrl!
11:31
Semi-Perfect Cell: BLAGH!
11:32
Vegeta: 'Okay, THIS obviously isn't working!'
11:35
Vegeta: 'Waaiitt...'
11:37
Vegeta: 'Tenshinhan got me into this. And now... he's going to get me *out*.'
11:44
Trunks: H-hey!
11:48
Semi-Perfect Cell: I've been so close for so long, and I can't take it anymore!
11:53
Semi-Perfect Cell: EIGHTEEN! I'm *coming*!
11:57
Vegeta: (Growling)
11:59
Semi-Perfect Cell: SOLAAR FLAAARE!
12:01
[⚤]
12:02
Trunks: Ah, ahh-ha-ha...
12:03
Vegeta: 'AH, MY RAGE HAS BLINDED ME!'
12:04
[16, 18 and Krillin groan]
12:07
Semi-Perfect Cell: Now... for the climax.
12:07
Trunks: (Still groaning)
12:11
Krillin: I won't let him touch you. Just stay behind m--
12:13
[DING]
12:13
Krillin: AH-HA-HA!
12:23
Android 18: SIXTEEN!
12:24
Android 16: ...*Yes*?
12:25
Android 18: Look after the little guy...
12:28
Android 16: Confirmed!
12:31
[18 screaming]
12:36
[Choral music]
12:36
Semi-Perfect Cell: (Growling)
12:44
Trunks: '*No*!'
12:45
Android 16: 'No!'
12:46
Krillin: 'NO!'
12:47
Vegeta: 'YEEEESSSS!'
12:56
Bulma: Hey, so, I can't sense power levels, but I can feel *that*.
13:00
Bulma: Does that mean anything?
13:02
Piccolo: *We're f**ked*.
13:14
[Orchestral theme]
13:34
Perfect Cell: ♫ "P" is for "Priceless", the look upon your faces ♫
13:38
Perfect Cell: ♫ "E" is for "Extinction", all your puny races ♫
13:42
Perfect Cell: ♫ "R" for "Revolution", which will be televised ♫
13:46
Perfect Cell: ♫ "F" is for how F**ked you are, now allow me to reprise~ ♫
13:52
Perfect Cell: ♫ "E" is for "Eccentric", just listen to my song ♫★
13:56
Perfect Cell: ♫ "C" is for "Completion", that I've waited for so long! ♫
14:00
Perfect Cell: ♫ "T" is for the "Terror", upon you I'll bestow... ♫★
14:04
Perfect Cell: (Chuckling)
14:05
Perfect Cell: My name is Perfect Cell. And I'd like to say... *Hello*.
14:20
Android 18: We haven't even killed anyone thus far. In fact, the only thing we want *dead* right now is *Cell*.
14:25
Android 16: Also Goku!
14:27
Krillin: Oh.
14:28
Krillin: Thank God, that makes this so much easier!
14:30
[BEEP BEEP]
14:30
Android 18: Huh?
14:30
[DOOM]
14:31
Krillin: AAH!
14:34
Trunks: Well, it looks like my father just killed us all!
14:37
Trunks: Make sure to catch what's coming to him by hitting the subscribe button, so you can follow the REST of our ever-shortening lives...
14:43
Trunks: If you're in the mood for something else Dragon Ball-related, click the Legacy of Goku button right there.
14:47
Trunks: Or, check out our latest new series, Final Fantasy 7 Machinabridged, that's celebrating its first season finale.
14:54
Trunks: And while we're still alive, I'd like to give thanks to all the patrons of the Team Four Star patreon campaign.
14:59
Trunks: Apparently, it's made everything much easier for them to work on, and for that, they thank you.
15:04
Trunks: If you'd like to check out the campaign yourself, feel free to click the patreon button or head to patreon.com/TFS
15:11
Trunks: Have a happy New Year, folks. It may be the last one...
15:17
[MLB]