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Episode 43

9:24 · 212 lines · YouTube · 3 saved quotes

0:14
[Winds blowing through town]
0:21
[Mysterious mutant moans menacingly]
0:25
Piccolo: What the hell is going on here?
0:27
Imperfect Cell: Ohohohohoho...
0:29
Imperfect Cell: Let's answer your question... with another question:
0:32
Piccolo: Yeah?
0:33
Piccolo: And what's tha--
0:34
Imperfect Cell: WANNA SEE ME DRINK THIS GUY?!★
0:36
Man: AHHH--!
0:37
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
0:38
Man: ♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
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Man: ♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
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Man: ♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
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Man: ♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
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Man: -AHHHHHHhhhhhhh-
1:00
Man: -ughhhhhhhhhhh...
1:02
Nail: 'Oh... oh God, I, I think I'm gonna *puke*!'
1:05
Piccolo: 'You CAN'T PUKE! You're in my--'
1:07
Nail: (Throws up)
1:07
Kami: 'Oh, good Lord, it's everywhere!!'
1:10
Imperfect Cell: Ahhhhh...
1:12
Imperfect Cell: So Piccolo... What brings you to myyy neighborhood?
1:16
Piccolo: I sensed a disturbance.
1:18
Imperfect Cell: WELL I AM pretty disturbing!
1:20
Imperfect Cell: Remember that time I drank that guy?
1:22
Imperfect Cell: THAT was f*cking weird.
1:23
Piccolo: So I take it you're the one who exterminated this entire city then.
1:26
Imperfect Cell: Oh no, no, that was another guy.
1:28
Imperfect Cell: His name was, "Shit Sherlock", first name, "No".
1:30
Piccolo: Why...? JUST WHY?!
1:32
Imperfect Cell: Well... three reasons:
1:34
Imperfect Cell: First: I was asleep, for like, four years, and I am understandably hungry.
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Imperfect Cell: Two: There's nothing more satisfying than the rush I get from watching a person disappear.
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Imperfect Cell: And three - and I need you to pay attention on this one:
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Imperfect Cell: HEEEEEEEEE YAAAAAAAAAA!
1:50
Gohan: Huh!?
1:51
Gohan: Why does it feel like my Dad is fighting Mr. Piccolo?
1:54
Gohan: And Vegeta is fighting Mr. Piccolo?
1:57
Gohan: And Mr. Piccolo is fighting... Mr. Piccolo?
2:00
Krillin: That's weird. It even feels like I'm out there.
2:02
Gohan: It feels like everyone we know is fighting Mr. Piccolo.
2:05
Krillin: 'Cept for Yamcha.
2:06
Yamcha: Well duh, that's because I'm right here.
2:09
Krillin: Yeah, that's gotta be it...
2:16
Imperfect Cell: Ahhhh...
2:17
Imperfect Cell: and threeee:
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Imperfect Cell: *That* is how I power the beautiful temple that is my body.
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Piccolo: You.... You're a monster!
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Imperfect Cell: "Oh, I'm a monster!"
2:27
Imperfect Cell: I haven't heard that one screamed at me today.
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Imperfect Cell: Of all peop--
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Imperfect Cell: PLAH!
2:32
Imperfect Cell: Oh, that is just EMBARRASSING!
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Imperfect Cell: It's not even the right hole...
2:36
Piccolo: As much as it disgusts me to admit... You and I have at least one thing in common.
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Imperfect Cell: More than you know...
2:42
Imperfect Cell: But continue.
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Piccolo: We both get a significant power-up when we absorb someone.
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Imperfect Cell: Ominous!
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Piccolo: HRGHHHHHHHHH!
2:50
[Harmonica is played]
2:52
Android 18: I can't believe you screwed up the van...
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Android 17: Honestly, I don't know what you were expecting, I didn't even get my license before Dr. Gero went all "Blade Runner" on us.
3:00
Android 18: Excuses...
3:01
Android 18: Hey, Sixteen!
3:03
Android 18: How's that tranny coming along?
3:04
Android 16: I don't believe the car identifies as either male or female...
3:10
Android 18: So... Whaddya think that explosion was?
3:12
Android 17: Meh, who cares?
3:14
Android 17: Probably just Vegeta throwing a hissy-fit or some--
3:16
Android 16: Wait!
3:17
Android 16: Did you mean the transmission?
3:19
Android 16: Because it's fixed.
3:20
[Android 16 starts the van]
3:26
Imperfect Cell: OO-AH!
3:28
Imperfect Cell: 'Oh, so he fused with Kami.'
3:30
Imperfect Cell: 'So that's a thing...'
3:31
Imperfect Cell: AHHH!
3:32
Kami: 'Did you just SPIN-kick him?!'
3:34
Piccolo: 'I know, right!? I've always wanted to do that!'
3:36
Nail: 'Please don't do it again...'
3:37
Piccolo: 'MY body, MY rules!'
3:39
Piccolo: 'DAMMIT!'
3:40
Imperfect Cell: 'Huh, faster than me.'
3:41
Imperfect Cell: 'That could be a slight pain in the ass.'
3:43
Imperfect Cell: 'But--'
3:44
Imperfect Cell: AH! MY ASS-BUTT!
3:45
Imperfect Cell: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
3:49
Imperfect Cell: Wanna see something cool?
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Imperfect Cell: HYAAAAAAAAAAAH!
3:53
Imperfect Cell: Ahhhhhhhh.
3:55
Piccolo: 'What is he doing?'
3:56
Kami: 'That looks like your technique.'
3:58
Piccolo: 'Well it's not!'
3:59
Nail: 'He is doing the finger-thing.'
4:01
Piccolo: 'So?! Goku does that when he telepor--'
4:02
Imperfect Cell: Makankōsappō!
4:04
Piccolo: 'Oh crap!'
4:04
Kami: 'So *that's* how you pronounce it...'
4:06
Piccolo: RAH!
4:10
Imperfect Cell: '...He's gonna kick me again, isn't he?'
4:19
Imperfect Cell: Alright, I'm going to need you to do me a solid and NOT kick me anymore.
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Piccolo: Start by telling me how you know my technique, and maybe I'll consider it...
4:27
Imperfect Cell: Well, what can I say?
4:29
Imperfect Cell: "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery."
4:32
Imperfect Cell: Speaking of which...
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Imperfect Cell: Kaaaaaaaa....
4:36
Piccolo: 'No! That's impossible!'
4:38
Piccolo: 'The only one who knows that technique is Goku!'
4:40
Imperfect Cell: Meeeee....
4:41
Piccolo: 'And Gohan...'
4:41
Imperfect Cell: Meeeee....
4:43
Piccolo: 'Aaaand Master Roshi...'
4:43
Imperfect Cell: Haaaaaa....
4:45
Piccolo: 'Aaand Krillin...'
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Imperfect Cell: MEEEEE....
4:46
Piccolo: 'Aaand Yamcha...'
4:46
Imperfect Cell: MEEEEE....
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Piccolo: 'And me that one time I tried to just to see if I coul--'
4:50
Imperfect Cell: HAAAAAAAAAA!
4:54
Trunks: Dammit!
4:55
Trunks: * A duplicate Time Machine * A monster on the loose * And now an entire city gone missing!
5:00
Trunks: And we still don't know where the Androids are.
5:02
Krillin: I know, right?
5:02
Krillin: A toootal fuster-cluck.
5:04
Trunks: AH!
5:05
Trunks: When did you--?
5:06
Trunks: I didn't even feel you!
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Krillin: I affectionately refer to it as "Stealth-Mode"!
5:11
Krillin: So! What're we looking at?
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Trunks: I have no idea!
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Trunks: It could be a giant Cicada monster for all we know!
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Trunks: Hopefully Piccolo will be able to hold his own until--
5:18
Trunks: Ah!
5:18
[Explosion vibrations]
5:21
Krillin: So, is that Piccolo, or... "Piccolo" Piccolo?
5:28
Piccolo: 'Huh, this thing's just full of surprises...'
5:30
Imperfect Cell: Surpriiise!
5:31
Piccolo: AH!
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Piccolo: UGH!
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Nail: 'Oh 'ey, he's behind you.'
5:34
Imperfect Cell: Howdy, neighbor...
5:37
Piccolo: AHHHAHAHAHAAAA!
5:39
Imperfect Cell: Ohohohoho! It must be your first time!
5:41
Imperfect Cell: Because you are TIGHT!
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Imperfect Cell: And unfortunately for you... it's also your last.
5:47
Nail: 'Uhhh, he's drinking your arm!'
5:49
Piccolo: 'I KNOW!'
5:50
Kami: 'Well, then DO SOMETHING!'
5:52
Piccolo: 'I AM!'
5:53
Imperfect Cell: AH! My beak-mouth!
5:59
Piccolo: *Oh, God*... you're even starting to *look* like Kami!
6:02
Kami: 'Dick...'
6:03
Imperfect Cell: You sure you don't want me to do the other arm?
6:05
Imperfect Cell: Even you out?
6:06
Imperfect Cell: 'Cause that's just distracting.
6:08
Piccolo: Listen, I've obviously lost this fight. Without my arm, I'm finished.
6:13
Nail: 'Wait, can't you *regrow* your ar--?'
6:15
Kami: 'Shut up, Nail! He's doing a thing.'
6:17
Imperfect Cell: Ahh, submission.
6:18
Imperfect Cell: A second-favorite to futile resistance.
6:21
Piccolo: But before you finish me off,
6:22
Imperfect Cell: Ehehehehehe.
6:24
Piccolo: How about you tell me EVERYTHING about you?
6:27
Imperfect Cell: Ohhh, wellll....
6:29
Piccolo: Unless you don't have anything important to say.
6:31
Imperfect Cell: No, no, it's just....
6:33
Imperfect Cell: You're the first person to ask me, "Who?" or "What?"
6:35
Imperfect Cell: Normally they just ask, "Why?"
6:39
Imperfect Cell: Well, to start us off, then:
6:41
Imperfect Cell: I'm sure by now you're more than familiar with my father... Dr. Gero!
6:47
Piccolo: Oh goddammit.
6:48
Imperfect Cell: Oh, BUT WAIT! *There's more*!
6:50
Imperfect Cell: I am purely bio-mechanical!
6:53
Imperfect Cell: Unlike my brother and sister: Cyborgs 17 and 18.
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Piccolo: We call them "Androids."
6:57
Imperfect Cell: Well good for you! You're wrong.
6:59
Imperfect Cell: As I was saying... our father created me with the sole purpose of becoming... Perfect.
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Imperfect Cell: Infused with the genetic makeup of the galaxy's strongest warriors... collected over several decades.
7:12
Piccolo: So that's how you know our techniques!
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Imperfect Cell: Ohh, but I know much more than that...
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Imperfect Cell: I know that in this timeline, there lies the secret to my true, perfect form.
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Imperfect Cell: A secret I had all but conceded lost to me.
7:26
Piccolo: "This" timeline?
7:28
Piccolo: So you're from the future.
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Piccolo: But how?
7:30
Imperfect Cell: Ohhhh.
7:33
[Timeline 3]
7:33
Trunks: Ahh, AHHHHH!
7:36
Imperfect Cell: I found a way...
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Imperfect Cell: All you need to know is that I'm here now. And I will stop at nothing to achieve my perfection!
7:45
Piccolo: Well then, I guess I know your story.
7:47
Imperfect Cell: You're welcome.
7:48
Piccolo: But I don't know your name.
7:50
Imperfect Cell: Oh, truth is, I don't really have one.
7:53
Imperfect Cell: But all things considered... I think I'll go with, "Cell".
7:59
Piccolo: That's kind of boring.
8:00
Imperfect Cell: Coming from the guy named after a woodwind instrument.
8:03
Imperfect Cell: You know what?! Doesn't matter anyway!
8:04
Imperfect Cell: I'ma drink you now!
8:06
Piccolo: Wait!
8:06
Imperfect Cell: Huh?
8:06
Piccolo: Before that, do YOU wanna see something cool?!
8:11
Imperfect Cell: Now I know you're playing me... and I do!
8:15
Piccolo: Urgh!
8:16
Piccolo: RAH!
8:18
Imperfect Cell: Oh, that is HARDCORE!
8:20
Imperfect Cell: Also not good for me.
8:23
Imperfect Cell: ALSO not good for me!
8:26
Krillin: What the hell is that?!
8:28
Trunks: And why is it giving me the most ominous sense of déjà vu?
8:33
Imperfect Cell: Sorry, kids! Not telling the story again!
8:36
Imperfect Cell: But I will leave you all *enlightened*!
8:40
Imperfect Cell: SOLAR FLARE!
8:41
[⚤]
8:44
Imperfect Cell: Ahahahahaha!
8:46
Krillin: But that's Tien's thing!
8:48
Piccolo: I F*CKING KNOW!
8:49
[♫ Closing theme (DBZ intermission) ♫]
8:57
Vegeta: Okay, *what the hell* am I sensing?★
9:00
Vegeta: Is that the Namekian? Is that me?! IS THAT ME STRONGER THAN ME?! *I'LL F*CKING KILL ME*!!!★