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Episode 42

13:46 · 245 lines · YouTube

0:15
[Van idling]
0:19
[Country music playing in background]
0:21
Android 18: This is. The best. You've got?
0:24
Store Clerk: That is our top o' the line! How do ya like it?
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Android 18: "Like" is a strong word. So is "tolerate".
0:31
Android 18: "Hate" 's actually looking a little weak right now.
0:33
Store Clerk: Oh, but darlin', you look like the most beautiful rose in a rose garden!
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Store Clerk: I'm sure if I came home with you, my Daddy might even love me again!
0:40
Android 18: And that is my cue to leave! Later, cowboy.
0:43
Store Clerk: Uh, sweetheart, you gotta pay for those!
0:45
Store Clerk: Uh, c-c-cash or credit!
0:46
Store Clerk: The register's on the inside!
0:48
Store Clerk: You are getting into your car!
0:50
Store Clerk: You are driving away, aaand I have been robbed.
0:53
Store Clerk: YOU BLONDE BIMBO! YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!
0:57
[Tires screech]
0:58
[Vehicle reversing]
0:59
Store Clerk: Oh, no, nonononononono!
1:00
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
1:02
♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫
1:06
♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)
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♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)
1:12
♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫
1:24
[Beeping]
1:26
Trunks: Alright, we should be getting close to the site!
1:28
Gohan: Um, Mr. Trunks?
1:30
Trunks: What's up?
1:31
Gohan: If you don't mind me asking: You know me in the future, right?
1:35
Trunks: Yeah, actually, you were my mentor.
1:37
Gohan: Oh, wow! What is adult me like?
1:39
Trunks: Well, I suppose you take a lot after your father.
1:43
Gohan: ...In what regard?
1:44
Trunks: You're the strongest, bravest warrior on the planet.
1:46
Gohan: Okay, good.
1:48
Gohan: By the way, why do you keep staring at my arm?
1:51
Trunks: Oh, uh... hey, what's that?
1:53
Gohan: Oh!
1:58
Trunks: Well, this definitely *looks* like my Time Machine.
2:01
Trunks: But, it also looks like it's been here for ages.
2:04
Gohan: Ooh, a mystery!
2:05
Gohan: I never get to solve mysteries! Like Sherlock Holmes or *Batman*!
2:10
Gohan: Usually we're just busy fighting people. Like Bruce Lee!
2:13
Gohan: Or Batman!
2:15
Bulma: Heeey!
2:16
Gohan: Oh look, your Mom's here!
2:18
Trunks: Oh, good...
2:22
Bulma: Hey there, Gohan!
2:24
Bulma: And... son.
2:26
Trunks: ...Mother.
2:30
Bulma: So, *is* that your Time Machine?
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Trunks: Well, it looks like mine, but it can't be mine!
2:35
[CLICK]
2:36
[Capsule opening sound]
2:39
Trunks: This one here's the one I used to travel back in time with.
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Trunks: If you'll notice, it has the word "Hope" written on the side.
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Trunks: So unless this one has it written on it in the same place, we--
2:49
Trunks: ...Oh.
2:50
Trunks: Crapbaskets.
2:52
Gohan: Oh, you say that too.
2:53
Bulma: Wait... why "Hope"?
2:55
Trunks: Because you called me our last hope.
2:57
Bulma: Holy crap, that's so cheesy! What, do I have, like, a ton of cats, too?
3:01
Gohan: Hey, anyone else notice the hole on the top?
3:04
Bulma: Huh, weird. Do you think whoever was piloting it was attacked?
3:08
Gohan: Actually, I don't think so.
3:10
Gohan: Considering the curvature of the melted glass... combined with the lack of any glass or damage in the cockpit... we're safe to assume... whatever shot the canopy... came... from the *inside*!
3:24
Trunks: And what does that tell us?
3:26
Gohan: Um... that the blast came from the inside...
3:30
Trunks: Here...
3:31
[Whirring]
3:38
Trunks: Huh.
3:40
Trunks: So, any idea what *these* are?
3:42
Gohan: Oh, I think I kicked an alien that looked like that, once.
3:45
Bulma: Hey, lemme get a look at it! I wanna help too!
3:50
[CLUNK]
3:51
Bulma: As the daughter of the world's leading-class scientist, with doctorates in both bio-engineering and evolutionary biology, I can only deduce...
3:57
[CLUNK]
3:58
Bulma: ...that this is a mutant coconut.
4:01
[CLUNK]
4:01
Bulma: Either that or an egg.
4:02
Gohan: An egg? (Gasp) I know!
4:06
Gohan: Trunks! Whatever made that hole, hatched from this egg!
4:09
Gohan: You keep examining the Time Machine! I'm gonna go search for clues!
4:14
Trunks: Well at least one of us is having fun with this.
4:16
[CLUNK CLUNK]
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Trunks: Two of us.
4:19
[Pac-Man sound effect]
4:20
Krillin: And then they flew off! God only knows where they are now!
4:23
Krillin: Thanks for letting us keep Goku here, by the way.
4:26
Roshi: Yeah, that's nice. So there's a HOT one now?
4:28
Krillin: Oh yeah, like you wouldn't believe!
4:30
Krillin: Her eyes are this beautiful, piercing, blue; her confidence is *stunning*; and she does this adorable little thing with her hair where she brushes it out of the way--
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Roshi: Fantastic! How's the rack?!
4:39
Turtle: Uh, Master Roshi, Goku's sweating purple. Is that normal?
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Roshi: Did he eat grapes?
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Turtle: I... don't... know?
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Roshi: That boy can't handle his grapes.
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Roshi: Speaking of fruit, what're we talking here? Apples? Oranges? MELONS?!
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Krillin: Is that really important?
4:55
Roshi: YES!
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Gohan: (Humming)
5:04
Gohan: Oh, hello! And what are you?
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Gohan: Hey, Trunks! I think I found a clue!
5:11
Gohan: Either that or a record-setting cicada.
5:13
Gohan: I'm okay with both, actually.
5:15
Trunks: Uu-aagh!
5:16
Bulma: Aaah!
5:17
Bulma: Oh my God, is that thing alive?!
5:19
Gohan: No, pretty sure that this is just a molt.
5:21
Bulma: Something crawled out of that?!
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Gohan: Hey, if you guys don't want it, mind if I take it home with me?
5:27
Trunks: 'Whatever was in here, might just be the creature that came out of that she--'
5:30
[SQUELCH]
5:31
Trunks: Oh... ohhh no...
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Trunks: Oh, really wish I hadn't!
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Trunks: Oh, it's all over my hand!
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Gohan: Considering how fresh this molt is, it's likely that whatever shed its skin did so very recently.
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Trunks: Oh God, it's sticky!
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Trunks: And now it's starting to harden! Oh no!
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Gohan: Meaning that it might very well still be here!
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[Whirring]
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Bulma: Trunks-it-was-good-to-see-you-again and-Gohan-say-hello-to-your-mother-I'll-call-you-later-okay byyyyyyyyye~!!
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[Engine starting]
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Trunks: Long shot, but you wouldn't happen to carry hand sanitizer on you, would you?
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Gohan: Do--... do you not?
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Bulma: Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
6:01
["Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)"]
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Phone: ♫ (Give it to me baby) Uh-huh, uh-huh! ♫
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Bulma: ...Eww!
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Phone: ♫ (Give it--) ♫
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[News jingle playing in background]
6:06
Bulma: What?
6:07
Krillin: So, you guys are by Ginger Town, right?
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Bulma: We were... why?
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Krillin: 'Cause there is some major shit going on down there!
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Bulma: Shit of what variety, exactly?
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Krillin: The not-good kind.
6:20
Flash: This is Flash Stormwood reporting live for CQTV here on location in Ginger Town!
6:24
Hal: Well thank you, Flash. What's the situation down there?
6:28
Flash: Mass unadulterated panic, Hal!
6:29
Flash: Just moments ago, screams erupted throughout the streets, only to be followed by deafening silence!
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Flash: Now there seems to be nothing left but a ghost town, littered with the clothes of its former inhabitants!
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Flash: We have yet to find out the reason why.
6:40
Hal: Well, do you have any speculations, Flash?
6:43
Flash: Well Hal, I cannot say for certain; however, recreational marijuana use was recently legalized in the region!
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Flash: So I believe we can all come to the same conclusion!
6:51
[Footsteps on TV]
6:51
Flash: Just a moment; someone is approaching!
6:53
Flash: Excuse me you terrifying looking gentleman, what are your opinions on the legalization of--
6:57
Flash: OH MY GOD, NO!
6:58
[Screaming]
6:58
[Slurping]
7:05
Krillin: Wow, someone should probably go check that out.
7:09
Roshi: Yeah, my stash is running a little low!
7:12
Roshi: (Laughing, coughing)
7:15
Gohan: Hey guys, we're back!
7:17
Gohan: (Sniffs) What's that smell? Is there a skunk in here?
7:20
Krillin: Oh, hey Gohan. You like mysteries?
7:23
Gohan: Do I?!
7:29
Piccolo: Hmm? Okay, so you felt *that* one, right?
7:33
Kami: I did...
7:33
Piccolo: And you're *still* just going to put this off?
7:36
Kami: I might...
7:37
Piccolo: Alright, I've had enough of this. I have literally been sitting here, meditating--
7:41
Nail: 'Dozing.'
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Piccolo: --*meditating*, for the last... uhh...
7:45
Mr. Popo: THREE! HOURS!
7:47
Piccolo: Thank you, Mr. Popo.
7:48
Piccolo: Three hours!
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Piccolo: So either shit, or get in my body.
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Nail: 'Uhh, I...'
7:53
Piccolo: No!
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Kami: Listen, I still need to feel the situation out.
7:56
Piccolo: What the *hell* is there left to feel out? Between your cryptic warnings and jerking me around,
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Piccolo: I'm pretty sure an entire city is either missing, or DEAD!
8:06
Piccolo: You're the Guardian! Start acting like it!
8:08
Kami: Yes! I am the Guardian! The Guardian of *this* planet!
8:12
Kami: And you wish to *take* that title from me!
8:14
Piccolo: Are you kidding me? This can't be about the job.
8:18
Piccolo: The first chance you had to drop this gig, you tried to hand it off to *Goku*!
8:22
Piccolo: *GOKU*!
8:23
Piccolo: He doesn't even look after his own kid! *I* look after his kid more than he does!
8:28
Kami: But it's still my job! My responsibility!
8:31
Piccolo: And that's really good and all, but if you don't fuse with me, the entire world you're "guarding", might be DESTROYED!
8:38
Kami: Maybe I'd RATHER it be destroyed than ever have to be a part of YOU again!
8:44
Nail: '...Mom, Dad, please stop fighting.'
8:47
Piccolo: So *that's* what this is all about, huh?
8:49
Kami: No, no, that's not what I--
8:50
Piccolo: No, no, it's fine. I was kind of a dick. I get that.
8:55
Kami: Listen, Piccolo.
8:57
Kami: I've been the Guardian for over 300 years.
9:00
Kami: I've seen wars, sickness, death and worse.
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Kami: All the while trapped on this Lookout.
9:07
Kami: Unable to interact with the outside world for more than... moments at a time.
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Kami: Now the only chance I have left is giving up my free will to someone else.
9:16
Kami: It's just another prison.
9:18
Piccolo: Wow, I... I didn--
9:20
Kami: It's fine. I'm done, anyway.
9:23
Kami: You're right. If I don't do this now, we are likely to lose everything.
9:29
Kami: But know this, Piccolo: Once I fuse with you, the Dragon Balls will be no more.
9:34
Piccolo: Ah, that's not a problem. We've got a whole planet of our people just waiting to make us more.
9:38
Kami: What do you mean, "our people"?
9:40
Piccolo: Stop being a smartass and let's just do this already.
9:43
Kami: Well then, Mr. Popo... I suppose this is goodbye.
9:47
Kami: It's been... a trip.
9:50
Mr. Popo: (Giggling) YES! (Giggling)
9:53
Kami: Well... I'm sure you're already familiar with the technique.
9:56
Piccolo: Right.
9:58
Kami: Alright now... lower.
10:01
Piccolo: Yeah, not falling for that.
10:02
Kami: Hmph. I didn't think so.
10:05
Piccolo: (Yelling)
10:05
Kami: (Yelling)
10:09
Mr. Popo: Oh my God, I'm coming dooooown!!
10:17
Mr. Popo: Whoo, that was crazy!
10:19
Mr. Popo: So did you actually eat Kami or was that the acid?
10:22
Piccolo: 'So THIS is who we were, huh?'
10:25
Piccolo: 'Hello...?'
10:27
Piccolo: 'Got *real* quiet...!'
10:30
Piccolo: 'Holy crap, are they finally--'
10:32
Nail: (Snickering)
10:34
Piccolo: Ohhh, of course not...
10:35
Nail: 'Hu-heh, isn't this the part where you chant to yourself?'
10:38
Piccolo: Shut up!
10:39
Kami: 'Come now, we should do whatever feels right.'
10:42
Piccolo: Oh, please, no!
10:43
Kami: 'You Can Win! You Feel Great! You! Can! Do! This!'
10:43
Nail: 'You Can Win! You Feel Great! You! Can! Do! This!'
10:47
Piccolo: Hmm...
10:49
Korin: Hey Piccolo, could you pick up Yajirobe? He doesn't have a ca--rrrrrr, crap!
10:54
Korin: Well I know SOMEONE who's not getting invited to Sunday brunch!
10:58
Korin: D'oh, who am I kidding? We like him.
11:03
Mr. Popo: Well... only one thing to do.
11:07
[Click]
11:07
Mr. Popo: ♪TURN DOWN FOR WHAT♪
11:08
["Turn Down for What" by Lil Jon plays loudly]
11:08
[Fireworks screeching, exploding]
11:11
Brush: Now now now now, now the Libs are surely gonna shout "racism" over this one, but...
11:16
Brush: this is just what happens when you elect a DOG as King!
11:20
Gohan: So you think this is whatever came from that egg, Trunks?
11:22
Trunks: Definitely. This isn't the work of the Androids, that's for sure.
11:26
Krillin: Not unless they're starting the world's first mandatory nudist colony.
11:28
Trunks: I'm going to go down there and check it out myself.
11:31
Trunks: I'll admit... after everything that's happened,
11:33
Trunks: I'm a little bit worried I'm responsible for these events.
11:36
Yamcha: Wait! Are you sure you should go alone?
11:38
Trunks: The only other person strong enough to help us right now would be my father.
11:41
Trunks: And even if I knew where he was, which I *don't*, I'm not sure he *would* help us.
11:46
Vegeta: No! You see, I didn't f**k up! I just underestimated her! I went in a little too overconfident.
11:52
Vegeta: But of COURSE I was a little overconfident! I mean, have you ever met me?! I'm ME! I'm a big deal!
11:59
Vegeta: And you know who's REALLY at fault here?!
12:01
Vegeta: *The boy*.
12:03
Vegeta: "Oh, the future is SO bad!"
12:06
Vegeta: Well maybe it wouldn't be, if YOU weren't such a PANSY ASS!
12:09
[Power up sound]
12:10
Vegeta: Now once I get back in the game, and DESTROY THOSE METAL BRATS...
12:15
Vegeta: there'll be nothing left to get in my way.
12:20
Nail: (Snickers) 'Well, this is classic. The moment God disappears, suddenly the Rapture happens!'
12:25
Kami: 'Yes, the irony is not lost on me...'
12:27
Piccolo: 'Could you guys stop talking for, a *minute*?'
12:30
Nail: 'Oh yeah, don't wanna distract you. Might get hit by one of these *abandoned* cars!'
12:35
Kami: 'I've always wanted to drive a car. But by the time they were invented, eyes weren't so good for it anymore.'
12:40
[Creepy humming in background]
12:40
Kami: 'Piccolo, you've driven a car, right? How was it?'
12:43
[Creepy humming in background]
12:43
Piccolo: 'Wait, seriously, shut up. What is that?'
12:45
[♪ Creepy humming / rendition of "Mr. Sandman" ♪]
12:51
Imperfect Cell: ♪ Mr. Sandman... ♪
12:55
Imperfect Cell: ♪ Bring me a dream... ♪
12:59
Imperfect Cell: ♪ Make him the cutest, that I've ever seen... ♪
13:05
Imperfect Cell: ♪ Give him two lips, like roses and clover... ♪
13:11
Imperfect Cell: ♪ Then tell him that his lonesome nights... are... over. ♪
13:20
Imperfect Cell: Hello... *friend*.
13:24
Imperfect Cell: (Reptilian growl)
13:34
[8-Bit Rendition of Cha-La-Head-Cha-La plays]