Episode 41

Android 18: Seriously, can we speed this up? It's cold as tits up here.

Android 17: Y'know, maybe if you stopped whining and helped me look, we'd... oh, oh look, there's one. There's...

Android 17: Actually, second thought, we don't *have* to steal the first one we see.

Android 18: Oh I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your welching.

Android 17: Hukgh, whatever.

Chuck: So Jones, uh, how's the wife and kids?

Jones: Still dead, Chuck. Been for months.

Chuck: Oh...

Chuck: I am terrible at small talk.

Jones: Yes. You are.

Jones: Uh?

Android 17: Huh, "Lucky Foods". Kind of ironic.

Jones: Uh, young man? Need you to stay out of our van.

Android 17: Alright guys, we're taking the van.

Android 17: No buddy, we're gonna drive it.

Android 16: Oh... sorry.

Android 17: It's cool. Now you have a place to sit.

Android 16: Affirmative.

Android 16: Shotgun.

Android 17: Not quite what that means, but hey, keep trying, man.

Android 17: Bitchin'. Next stop - Casa de Goku.

Android 18: How 'bout no? New clothes first, Goku's "casa" second.

Android 17: T'heh. Women... Am I right, Sixteen?

Android 16: Confirmed: She is female.

Android 17: T'hah! She is.

♫ CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA ♫

♫ Egao urutora zetto de ♫ (With a smile that’s Ultra-Z)

♫ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~ ♫ (Even today is ai-yai-yai-yai-yai~)

♫ Sparking! [fading echo] ♫

Krillin: Y'know, I should have brought this up earlier, but we should probably move Goku before the Androids get to his house.

Trunks: It's been pretty non-stop here, so I'm a little out of the loop. What happened to Goku?

Krillin: Oh, uh, he didn't take his medicine; grape-flavored. Go figure.

Trunks: Yeah... go figure...

Tien: Actually, I really need to go pick up Chiaotzu. Left him over at Kame House.

Chiaotzu: So - how do you like my Chashu Ramen?

Oolong: Wow, that is frickin' tasty! What's in this?

Chiaotzu: Little bit of sake, soy-sauce, beansprouts, poooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk...

Oolong: I'm delicious...!

Roshi: How old are you?!

Tien: So, I'm going to go grab him before things get... *weird*.

Krillin: Later, Tien!

Krillin: I can never read that guy...

Krillin: Wait, before we go in, uh,

Trunks: Uh, huh?

Krillin: I wanted to ask:

Krillin: You ever think that Android 18 is, uh, kind of... cute?

Trunks: ...No.

Krillin: Alright then - dibs; by the way, quick warning!

Krillin: Be super nice to Goku's wife, she can be a total--

Krillin: (Pained griping)

Chi-Chi: Gohan! Oh... it's you.

Krillin: Yeah, fine, I pretty much asked for that one.

Yamcha: Huh? Hey, guys! How it is?

Trunks: Oh, uh, Yamcha, right? How's it ha-- I mean, how you doing?

Yamcha: Oh, you know... hanging in there.

Trunks: Ughhhhhhh...

Yamcha: So, what happened? Did Vegeta clean up the Androids?

Krillin: Not quite...

Krillin: * Turns out there were three more * Vegeta got his arms broken * They beat everyone up * Piccolo flipped out * And *I* got kissed by the cute one.

Yamcha: ...The clown?

Krillin: No no no, there's a girl now.

Yamcha: I don't believe you.

Trunks: You know, we should probably continue this conversation after we've moved Goku.

Yamcha: Move Goku? But he finally stopped screaming!

Goku: Gwaaaaaw...

Yamcha: N'okay, well-well, he's petering out.

Krillin: We'll take him to Kame House! They'll never look for him there!

Yamcha: That is literally the second place they'll look.

Krillin: Look, we're short on time *and* options. And who knows what those dastardly Androids are doing?

Android 18: Wow, you actually pulled over.

Android 17: No no no, this is gonna be great, shut up.

Tex: You two! This vehicle has been reported as stolen! You are under arrest!

Avery: Sir, I have checked the vehicle and I have identified another male.

Avery: And he is f*cking biiiig!

Android 16: You cannot sit in the back. I called shotgun.

Avery: He has a weapon!

Tex: Cuff him!

Avery: Do we have any bigger... stronger cuffs?

Tex: Yeah, they're in the car.

Android 18: Alright, I take it back. This is fun!

Yamcha: So, where's Vegeta during all this, anyway?

Krillin: Oh, I'm sure he's off somewhere...

Vegeta: GODDAMMIT! SHIIIII...!!

Krillin: ...*coping*.

Chi-Chi: GOHAAAN~!

Gohan: 'Oh, good...'

Chi-Chi: Oh, I swear I am never letting you get away from me again.

Chi-Chi: We're gonna get that GPS tracking chip installed in your neck by the end of the week!

Gohan: Uh, little help?

Krillin: Androids are coming! Gotta move your dad! Get on the ship!

Gohan: Where are we going?

Krillin: Kame House.

Gohan: Isn't that literally the second place they'll look?

Krillin: Less lip, more ship!

Tien: I'm here for Chiaotzu.

Tien: We need to train.

Chiaotzu: But Tien, the doctor said if your shoulders get any bigger--

Tien: That's why we don't see him anymore.

Roshi: Wait, so you didn't beat the Androids?!

Tien: Well, they broke both of Vegeta's arms...

Tien: so you know, that was pretty fun. Otherwise, it was a total wash.

Oolong: I can never read that guy...

Roshi: Welp, you heard the man. Pig, fetch my laptop.

Roshi: We're gonna buy us a submarine!

Oolong: Alright, but you're not allowed to name it after your junk.

Roshi: Bitch, I'm buyin' it, I'm namin' it!

Kami: Mmm.

Piccolo: Mm?

Kami: Hnn?

Piccolo: Hnn?

Kami: Hghn!

Piccolo: Hn?!

Kami: Hmm...

Piccolo: Hghmm...!

Nail: '*Oh, just fuse already*!'

Yamcha: So, both arms, huh?

Krillin: Both. She was beautiful with a capital B--

Krillin: I-I mean brutal!

Krillin: Uncomfortably brutal!

Krillin: ...I wasn't distracted by her eyes...

Gohan: So wait, Trunks? I'm curious....

Gohan: If you came back in time again to help us, does that mean we already failed?

Trunks: Actually - turns out that's not how time-travel works.

Krillin: So you're saying I can't just take your Time Machine, go back in time, and tell myself not to date Maron?

Trunks: I don't know who that is... but, no, you couldn't. I mean, you could, but it wouldn't be the same you!

Trunks: You see, when I traveled back to the past, I'm... technically going to a different universe.

Gohan: Oh - you mean Multiverse Theory?

Trunks: Wait, what?

Gohan: Yeah.

Gohan: With every decision, it creates a branch in the timeline.

Gohan: Whenever you travel back in time, you're actually entering another parallel universe.

Trunks: How could you possibly--?

Gohan: I've been studying theoretical physics... although at this point, I guess it's just physics.

Chi-Chi: Good. Then if that's all out of the way, we can start your review on cellular biology!

Gohan: Aw, but cells are *boring*!

Yamcha: I don't get it.

Yamcha: If it doesn't affect your timeline, why even come back to ours and tell us anything in the first place?

Trunks: Well, besides wanting to make at least one timeline without the world being destroyed...

Trunks: my mother didn't tell me until AFTER I'd already done it once.

Krillin: ...And then she tried to bang you~...!

Trunks: Uh-huh?

Krillin: Oh, speak of the devil! That's her ringtone.

Trunks: What is *that*?

Yamcha: What is what?

Trunks: This music!

Krillin: You mean country music?

Trunks: Oh!

Trunks: *This* is country music?

Krillin: What, you don't have country in the future?

Trunks: No! Shortly after I was born it all just... vanished.

Trunks: Nobody knows exactly what happened.

Yamcha: So, someone wanna get that? Kinda flying the plane...!

Krillin: Aw, fine.

Krillin: Krrillin~ sp--

Bulma: Shut up, I've got some important news.

Krillin: Good or bad news?

Bulma: It depends. Is Trunks there?

Krillin: ...Is this a booty call?

Bulma: *Krillin*!

Krillin: Right behind me!

Trunks: Hi, Mom...

Bulma: Hey...

Yajirobe: Ya missed me, four-eyes!

Dr. Briefs: That was a warning shot, fat-ass! Now put down the fridge!

Yajirobe: Viva la honey-baked ham!

Bulma: ...Yeah, anyway, I just got the strangest call from some farmer in the countryside fifty miles out of Ginger Town...

Bulma: said he found one of our vehicles out there.

Krillin: Wow, this is so interesting, does it have anything to do with the *Androids* we're fighting?

Bulma: Shut up, and it might.

Bulma: I'm faxing over the picture he took.

Krillin: You have a *fax* machine?

Trunks: What's a fax machine?

Krillin: You see; that one makes sense.

Bulma: Just shut up and show it to Trunks!

Trunks: What?

Trunks: No, this can't be right!

Trunks: This is my Time Machine!

Krillin: Maybe you misplaced it.

Trunks: That's impossible; I put it away in its capsule!

Gohan: Are you sure?

Trunks: Of course I'm sure. Here, just let me show you.

Krillin: WAIT, NO!

Trunks: Oh, no!

Krillin: Oh, my God!

Yamcha: It's on top of Goku!

Gohan: Dad!

Krillin: Put it back, put it back, put it back!

Yamcha: Oh good, that's back...

Android 18: So, I've been thinking about it... what do we do after we kill Goku?

Android 17: Whatever the hell we want! Who's gonna stop us?

Android 16: Not Goku.

Android 17: *Exactly*. Speaking of which, Sixteen - what's our ETA?

Android 16: We are currently 2,544 miles from our destination.

Android 18: Ohhh, my God...

Android 17: Hey, come on sis, it ain't so bad! Let's turn on our good old friend, the radio.

Android 18: Oh, that is ten pounds of nope in a five pound bag.

Android 17: Right right, sorry. Forgot we were out in the sticks.

Android 18: You know what? I think I know the first thing we're gonna do.