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Episode 33

12:32 · 260 lines · YouTube

0:15
[BZZZT]
0:15
Freeza: Absalon.
0:20
Vegeta: Alright, Freeza's just over this next formation.
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Vegeta: Now before we move in, we need a plan.
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Vegeta: So here it is:
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Vegeta: All of you will attack from the front, and while you're being slaughtered,
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Vegeta: I'll flank him, taking him from behind and securing the kill!
0:33
Vegeta: Ready? Break!
0:34
Piccolo: No.
0:35
Tien: Yeah, no.
0:35
Yamcha: Personally, I don't think Bulma should be here; a battlefield is no place for a lady.
0:39
Vegeta: And yet, you're sticking around.
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Yamcha: I'm serious! I worry about her safety!
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Yamcha: And as my close, personal friend, possibly even bestie,
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Yamcha: I think we need to consider--
0:48
Yamcha: AAagh!
0:48
Bulma: Anyone want to explain to Yamcha here what ten pounds of torque does to a human ear?
0:53
Gohan: Rips it off?
0:53
Bulma: Very good, Gohan!
0:56
[Laughing]
1:00
Krillin: Ahh...
1:10
King Cold: So is this him, sweetie? Is this the man who hurt you so?
1:13
Freeza: No, Daddy.
1:15
Freeza: This is a new one...
1:17
Trunks: So... you must be Friza.
1:19
Freeza: Actually, it's Lord Freeza.
1:22
Trunks: Really? Then why is there an "i" in it?
1:24
Freeza: There *isn't*.
1:26
Trunks: Huh. Gonna have to fix that one when I get back, then.
1:28
Trunks: Anyway, I'm here to kill you.
1:30
Freeza: Ohohohohohoho, my my! Not five minutes on this wayward rock and we already have a volunteer-teer-teer--
1:37
[BZZZT]
1:37
Freeza: dead man.
1:39
Freeza: Soldiers! Do your jobs!
1:41
Straw: Lord Freeza, with all due respect--
1:42
Freeza: This sounds like insubordination.
1:44
Straw: He just turned an entire squad into a pile of limbs!
1:47
Freeza: And that sounds like it's not my problem!
1:50
Chayote: Man, moving your bitchin' bitch-ass over, bitch.
1:53
[Rapid Scouter beeping]
1:54
Chayote: What, power level of five?
1:56
Chayote: Shit, ain't nobody got time for dat!
2:01
Chayote: ...Well, that ain't right...
2:05
Trunks: Consider that a warning! Either leave now, or die!
2:08
Freeza: Ooh, is that an ultimatum?! I love ultimatums!
2:12
Freeza: Here's mine:
2:13
Freeza: Either die to him or die to me!
2:27
Freeza: What... what just happened?
2:29
Trunks: Give it a second.
2:30
Freeza: No, really, they're just--
2:31
Trunks: No, no, hold on!
2:38
Trunks: Yeah, took me a whole three months to get that one down. They make it look a lot easier than it really is.
2:43
Trunks: Real hard part was that guy's armor!
2:46
Trunks: I ended up going through a dozen mannequins before I cinched that one.
2:50
Freeza: You missed a spot.
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Minion: Augghhhh...!
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Minion: Lord Freeza...
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Minion: ...the f*ck?
3:00
King Cold: You know that was our last minion, right?
3:02
Freeza: Who cares? We have more at home.
3:04
King Cold: No, I mean now we have no one to fly the ship!
3:07
Freeza: I can fly it!
3:08
King Cold: Son, we do not fly ourselves; flying is for the help!
3:11
Trunks: So, uh... curious; what's with all the spare parts sticking out of you?
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Freeza: Impudent little...!
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Freeza: These are not "spare parts"!
3:19
Freeza: What you are looking at is the ultimate culmination of science and nature!
3:23
Trunks: Oh, wow! I've... never seen that before...
3:28
Freeza: You know, the only reason you continue to breathe is because I need something to entertain me until the Super Saiyan arrives.
3:34
Trunks: Oh, really?
3:35
Trunks: Because if it's a Super Saiyan you're looking for... I can fill the part.
3:40
Freeza: What?!
3:42
Freeza: (Laughing)
3:45
Freeza: Oh, you hear that, Daddy?!
3:47
Freeza: "I can fill the part!"
3:49
Freeza: It's like a five year old trying to play police officer.
3:52
King Cold: Or like how you play Pretty Pink Princess?
3:54
[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" fades in ♫]
3:54
Freeza: Daddy, not in front of the malcontent!
3:56
King Cold: But it's so *cute* when you do it!
3:58
Freeza: I haven't done that since I was eight-eight-ei-eight--
4:01
[BZZZT]
4:01
Freeza: my Quinceañera.
4:03
Trunks: HAAAAAAA!
4:04
Freeza: What?!
4:04
Trunks: AAAAAAAA!
4:05
King Cold: Zounds!
4:05
Trunks: AAAAAAAA!!!
4:11
[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" fades out ♫]
4:11
Piccolo: (Gasp)
4:11
Vegeta: (Gasp)
4:12
Gohan: That's... that's my Dad!
4:14
Krillin: You sure, Gohan?
4:15
Gohan: Either that or we just felt Freeza's mom.
4:17
Krillin: Who here just thought of Freeza with boobs?
4:20
Krillin: ...Really?
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Krillin: I'm the only one?
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Vegeta: Yes!
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Vegeta: 'He must never know...'
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Freeza: Those... those eyes...!
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Freeza: They're the same as...!
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Flashback Goku: 'Pizza...!'
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Freeza: No...! No! NO! NO! *NO*! KILL! MURDER! DESTROY! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
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[BZZZT]
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[BZZZT]
4:47
[BZZZT]
4:55
Freeza: Uh-hu, u-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...!
4:59
King Cold: Alright, get down here; I'm going to call Space Triple A and have them tow us, thank you very much!
5:04
King Cold: What?!
5:05
Freeza: *What*?!
5:06
[♫ The Lion King's "Circle of Life" ♫]
5:10
King Cold: Freeza, what did you do?!
5:11
Freeza: DADDY, NOT NOW!
5:17
Freeza: Grrrrh...!
5:20
Trunks: Well, Freeza, looks like you *dropped the ball*.
5:25
Trunks: *Dropped the ball*.
5:29
Trunks: ...Drrrrropped the ba--
5:31
Freeza: AAAGH!
5:34
[Screaming and yelling]
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King Cold: You almost destroyed the whole planet there.
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Freeza: Sorry - I got a little bit carried away. Doesn't matter now, though;
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[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" fades in ♫]
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Freeza: our little Super Saiyan is dead-dead-dead--
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[BZZZT]
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Freeza: cadaverific.
5:56
Trunks: Hey, Freeza!
5:57
Freeza: *WHAT*?!
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Trunks: You should split!
6:02
Freeza: If you're trying to be clever, you're sorely lacking--
6:04
Trunks: Hiiiyaaaaaaaaahhhh-!
6:05
Freeza: Huh?!
6:07
Freeza: Aaaaaaaaahhhhh-!
6:09
Trunks: -Aaaaaaaaaahhhh-!
6:10
Freeza: -Aaaaaaaaaahhhh-!
6:12
Trunks: -Aaaaaaahhhh-!
6:13
Freeza: -Aaaaaaahhhh-!
6:13
Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!
6:14
Freeza: -Aaaahhhh-!
6:14
Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!
6:15
Freeza: -Aaaahhhh-!
6:15
Trunks: -Aaaahhhh-!
6:16
Freeza: -Aaaahhhh!
6:16
Trunks: -HI-YAH!
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[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" pauses ♫]
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Freeza: (Computer-like yelling)
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[Windows error sound]
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[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" resumes ♫]
6:24
[Many Windows error sounds]
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King Cold: *My baby boy*...!
6:31
Krillin: We're finally here!
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Krillin: Where's Freeza-- Oh!
6:34
Krillin: There he is!
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Krillin: And there...
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Krillin: And there--
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[♫ "BP∞ Battle Point Unlimited" cuts-off ♫]
6:44
Krillin: And here...
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Krillin: Is that his brain...?
6:49
Gohan: Guys... I think that person is a Super Saiyan!
6:53
Vegeta: Like hell he is!
6:55
Krillin: Spiky gold hair? Incredible power?
6:56
Vegeta: You don't know that he's a Super Saiyan! Maybe he's Super *Human*, huh?!
7:01
Vegeta: Maybe you slackers just haven't been trying hard enough!
7:03
Tien: Says the *non*-Super Saiyan.
7:05
Vegeta: F*ck off!
7:11
King Cold: You murdered my Princess!
7:17
King Cold: Oh well - you win some, you lose some.
7:19
Trunks: ...Children?
7:20
King Cold: Yeah.
7:21
Trunks: Okay... sorta thought you'd be a little more pissed.
7:24
King Cold: Oh, blindingly so. Mind if I see your sword?
7:27
Trunks: What? Why?
7:28
King Cold: I just wish to hold it.
7:30
Trunks: No!
7:30
King Cold: Oh, come on, be neighborly!
7:32
Trunks: I'm not your neighbor.
7:34
Trunks: I also think I hate you.
7:35
King Cold: Look, after what you did, I can fit what's left of my son into a meat pie!
7:38
King Cold: Let me see your stupid sword!
7:43
Trunks: (Sigh) Fine...
7:46
King Cold: See? Nothing nefarious; I just wanted to inspect the craftsmanship...
7:51
King Cold: Admire the temper...
7:53
King Cold: Test its edge on YOU, YOU INSUBORDINATE HICK!
7:59
King Cold: Ah... Still not sure if you hate me...?
8:01
Trunks: Actually, that pretty much sealed it.
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King Cold: AAAGHaaaagh...!
8:08
King Cold: (Gasp) No...! N-no, wait, please I...! W-We can make a deal!
8:12
King Cold: If you spare my life I'll... give you a planet...?
8:15
King Cold: *Three* planets!
8:17
King Cold: Two and a half?
8:18
Trunks: You just went down.
8:20
King Cold: I'm a haggler...?
8:21
King Cold: WEEEGHH...!
8:31
Krillin: ...Good work, team!
8:39
Trunks: Hey there, guys!
8:40
Vegeta: F*ck this guy!
8:41
Trunks: I'm about to go meet Goku; just follow me!
8:44
Gohan: Wait... did he just say my Dad?!
8:46
Krillin: Wait, Gohan...
8:47
Krillin: We don't know if we can trust this guy...
8:49
Trunks: I also brought snacks!
8:51
Krillin: But, the Bible does say, "love thy neighbor".
8:54
Gohan: You're a Buddhist.
8:55
Krillin: A *hungry* Buddhist!
9:00
GPS: Fly three hundred meters northwest, then land near "Idiot Rock".
9:05
Trunks: So that's what they called it before "Idiot Crater".
9:13
Trunks: Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I brought you here.
9:16
Krillin: Snacks!
9:17
Yamcha: To kill us!
9:17
Vegeta: To kill snacks!
9:19
Trunks: Goku is going to land near here in approximately three hours.
9:22
Trunks: Until then... Let's all have a drink.
9:27
Trunks: I've got soda, beer, and Hetap.
9:30
Tien: Isn't it a little early to start drinking?
9:32
Bulma: Hey, five o'clock was twenty hours ago!
9:35
Krillin: So, stranger, what's your name?
9:36
Trunks: Can't say.
9:37
Krillin: Well, Mr. Can't Say, I'm Krillin!
9:39
Trunks: That's not funny.
9:40
Krillin: What isn't?
9:41
Gohan: So... you know my Dad, right?
9:44
Trunks: Well, sort of. Really, I've just heard a lot about him.
9:47
Trunks: It's kind of--
9:48
Bulma: So, hey like, just gonna throw this out there...
9:51
Bulma: You're really cute.
9:52
Trunks: Uh... well, you know, my Mom always said I was a cute kid.
9:55
Bulma: Oh, a mamma's boy, huh?
9:58
Bulma: I'll be your mommy...
9:59
Trunks: 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--'
10:02
Krillin: Can I have another Hetap?
10:03
Trunks: YE-HES, YES YOU CAN.
10:04
Bulma: By the way, that jacket is awfully familiar...
10:07
Trunks: Uhm...
10:08
Bulma: Yeah - I even made it myself!
10:11
Bulma: Capsule Corp logo, even cut it short to show off my midriff.
10:14
Vegeta: 'If he's never met him before, how the hell does this kid know where Kakarot is going to land?'
10:19
Trunks: I love everything about Capsule Corp!
10:19
Vegeta: 'And he can't actually be a damn Saiyan...'
10:22
Vegeta: 'Either he's a liar, or...'
10:23
Trunks: Yep, love storing things...
10:23
Vegeta: '...maybe...'
10:26
Vegeta: '...Wait a second...!'
10:27
Vegeta: Did someone drink the last Hetap?! I'll kill you!
10:30
Krillin: Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!
10:41
Chiaotzu: Tieeenn~... I'm booooored...
10:44
Tien: Chiaotzu, we only have to wait a little while longer.
10:47
Tien: We'll say hello to Goku, and then we'll go home.
10:50
Chiaotzu: Can we get McDonalds?
10:52
Tien: Only if you're good.
10:53
Chiaotzu: Awww...
11:03
Vegeta: What? What are you lookin' at?!
11:05
Vegeta: What, do you like what you see?!
11:07
Vegeta: Yeah, that's right, eyes to yourself.
11:09
Vegeta: I don't swing that way; I'm a real man!
11:12
Gohan: Hey, Mr Piccolo?
11:14
Piccolo: Yeah?
11:15
Gohan: I was wondering - why didn't you go with the rest of the Namekians to your home planet?
11:19
Piccolo: Oh, I don't know; why don't you just go to Vegeta with the rest of the Saiyans?!
11:23
Vegeta: Hey, I've already got one hitting on me over here, I don't need another!
11:26
[Beeping]
11:28
Trunks: 'Oh, thank God.'
11:28
[Beeping]
11:29
Trunks: Alright, everybody - Goku should be landing any moment now.
11:32
Gohan: (Inhales)
11:34
Vegeta: Well I don't see him, so you're wrong.
11:37
Vegeta: I think you've been lying to us the whole time!
11:39
Vegeta: There's no way you could--
11:39
[TCHING]
11:39
Vegeta: There's no way you could--
11:40
[WHOOSH]
11:41
[BOOM]
11:45
Vegeta: ...that could be anyone.
12:01
Goku: GUYS, WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME! FREEZER'S HERE AND--
12:02
[Cheering]
12:06
Goku: Yaaaay... Heheheh... Wha...?
12:06
[Cheering]
12:14
Bulma: So... do you think the carpet matches the drapes?
12:18
Krillin: I dunno. Do yours?
12:19
Bulma: KRILLIN!
12:20
Krillin: What? It was a leGINAmate question--!
12:22
Krillin: I mean a legitimate ques-- whatever.
12:24
Bulma: It's just very personal! I mean, do *yours*?!
12:27
Krillin: Yeah.
12:28
Bulma: What?!
12:28
Krillin: It's called manscaping.
12:30
Bulma: It's weird.
12:30
Krillin: It's *hygenic*!