Episode 29

Krillin: Whew! Alright, how was that?

Lanipator: That was perfect, Krillin. Uh, don't worry about your check; we'll send it to your next-of-kin.

Krillin: ...What?

Gohan: That last attack drained all of his energy. We gotta help him!

Krillin: You're right, Gohan. It's time to get in there and throw down!

Gohan: Really, Krillin?

Krillin: Ha ha! F**k no!

Goku: (Gurgling underwater)

Goku: (Coughing)

Freeza: Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey?

Goku: (Coughs)

Goku: Ah! Ooh! Gah! Guh! Oh! Sunofa--!

Yamcha: You know what? This is totally bogus.

Tien: I'm going to do my best to ignore that you just used the word "bogus".

Yamcha: King Kai hasn't taught us *crap* since we got here.

Yamcha: And what's worse - Piccolo didn't even have to train with us. He just sat and meditated all the time.

Tien: You're just jealous.

Yamcha: No I'm no--!

Yamcha: Okay a little.

Recoome: RECOOOOOOMMEE...

Chiaotzu: Hey, do you guys hear that?

Recoome: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVEEE!

Recoome: Hello!

Bojack: Yargh!

Burter: I've got his left leg!

Jeice: I've got his right!

Guldo: I've got his middle!

Recoome: Hey. What's up?

Tien: Ssso, are you guys--?

Guldo: We'reunderattack!

Burter: Whoa, a little quick to the trigger there, ace.

Guldo: Sorry, I kind of lost my head there after I... lost my head.

King Kai: Hey, I was just inside, takin' a crap. I'm old, it takes me a while. I come out, and there's a tree in my living room. What's up?

Yamcha: We were just standing around and talking about your awesome traIning, and then these guys showed up.

Chiaotzu: Look like a bunch of queers.

Tien: Chiaotzu! We don't even know them. You shouldn't make such rash judgements abou--

Ginyu Force: ♪ TOKUSENTAI! ♪

Tien: ...well, we shouldn't think less of them for it.

Jeice: G'day, mates! How ya goin'?

Jeice: We're here to take control of your planet in the name of Lord Freeza! Sorry about that.

King Kai: Ha, ha ha! Ah yeah, good luck with that.

King Kai: Alright guys, show 'em who's boss.

Tien: That'd be you.

Yamcha: Yep, all you man!

Chiaotzu: You're the boss!

King Kai: WHAT?!

Recoome: What? Recoome has to fight *this*? He doesn't even come up to Recoome's knee caps!

Jeice: Prolly can't even 'andle a gut full o' piss!

Burter: I'll bet you can't even run a mile!

Guldo: YOU'RE BLUE!

King Kai: Yeah, all of you can just go straight to Hell.

Recoome: Oh yeah? And who's gonna make Recoome?

Goz: Meeez! We have visitoooors!

Goz: Prepare ze camps!

King Kai: Well, that takes care of that. Hm, that reminds me - wonder how Goku's doing.

King Kai: That's about right.

Goku: No... I... can't lose.

Goku: I have to beat you.

Goku: You're evil, and you have to be stopped.

Freeza: Ha! Nice try, jackass. Next time, give it your A-game! Anyway, back to f--

Freeza: ...What are you doing?

Goku: 'Have to use the Spirit Bomb. It's my only chance!'

Freeza: Seriously, what... what is this all about? A-are you trying to tell me you once caught a fish that big?

Goku: I'm just... stretchin'.

Freeza: In the middle of a fight...

Goku: Yes.

Goku: 'I have only one chance... but this planet barely has enough energy left as it is...'

Goku: 'Wait! I'll just draw from the surrounding planets!'

Piccolo: What's going on? He's just standing there with his hands up.

Krillin: 'Wait a second...'

Krillin: HE'S USING THE SPIRIT BOMB!

Freeza: The Spirit-what's-it-now?

Goku: 'Aw, no...'

Piccolo: Would you stop screami--?

Krillin: THE SPIRIT BOMB IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN KILL FREEZA!

Piccolo: SHUT UP!

Krillin: Too scared!

Piccolo: Dammit!

Freeza: What is that fool yammering on about?

Goku: He's talking about... ghosts.

Freeza: "Ghosts".

Goku: Yeah, you know... spirits... ghosts...

Freeza: What do ghosts have to do with this?

Goku: Everything.

Freeza: That's stupid! You're stupid! STOP BEING STUPID!

Goku: Ooor... maybe I'm just being rhetorical.

Freeza: *No*! No, you're *not*! God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter.

Goku: Huh! Well, now you're just acting transcendent.

Freeza: HRRR!

Goku: AAAAGH!

Krillin: Oh no! If Goku can't focus on the Spirit Bomb, he doesn't stand a chance!

Piccolo: I think the issue is *less* about him focusing, and more about *staying alive*.

Krillin: I don't get it though, where's the ba-- a-a-aaaa-HOLY BALLS!

Gohan: Wow! Is that... the Spirit Bomb?

Piccolo: It's massive!

Krillin: OH, MY GOD! THAT THING'S GIGANTIC! IT'S GONNA KILL FREEZA FOR SU--!

Piccolo: SHUT UP!

Krillin: AH A-HA!

Freeza: HEEEYA!

Goku: AH!

Freeza: There you are again! Throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care.

Freeza: CARE, DAMMIT!

Goku: AAAAGH!

Piccolo: Dammit, this is bad...!

Gohan: Dad!

Goku: (Breathing hard)

Freeza: I believe I'm done.

Freeza: As entertaining a punching bag you make, I find there is no more enjoyment to be found here.

Goku: Wait! We could always play a game of 20 Questions.

Freeza: Alright, then. First question: Are you about to die?

Goku: No.

Freeza: Uh-uh-uh. *No lying.*

Goku: Damn!

Freeza: Say goodbye, monkey--

Freeza: aahauhh! Wh-what... what is that glare?

Freeza: That's not a sun. I-It's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station-- What is that? What... is... that-- WHAT IS THAT?!

Goku: Are we still playing 20 Questions?

Freeza: You were planning on using that on me, weren't you?!

Goku: Yeah...

Freeza: I don't know where you got that much power from, but it doesn't really matter now, does it?

Goku: Errh!

Goku: IYAGH!

Goku: Aw, nuts...!

Freeza: Looks like that whole "Super Saiyan" thing didn't pan out after all.

Goku: IYUHH!

Freeza: When you see Vegeta, tell him I said, "Like a bitch."

Freeza: What the-- FUUUUUUUUUU...?!

Goku: Piccolo? What are you doing here-?

Piccolo: No talk time. Plan now!

Goku: Well, I still got the Spirit Bomb, but I need both arms to charge it.

Goku: You'll have to distract him while I gather energy.

Piccolo: Well, that's not so ba--

Goku: For five minutes. And, considering how bad he was kicking my butt... eh, I'm sure you can handle it.

Piccolo: Did... you just hold a grudge??

Freeza: AND I JUST KEEP GETTING REMINDED OF MY FAILURES!

Piccolo: You mean your failure at killing me, or just in general?

Freeza: EURGGH!

Piccolo: (Various grunts of pain)

Goku: ♪ 'Mahna dada, do do do-do do' ♪

Goku: '...'

Goku: ♪ 'Mahna Mahna, do do-do do' ♪

Goku: '...'

Goku: ♪ 'Mahna Mahna, do do de-de-de' ♪

Piccolo: Ah, no, no, no, no... ah-- oh God, my glubok!

Goku: ♪ 'De-de-de, de-de-de, de-do-do' ♪

Goku: ♪ 'I'ma chargin’ my attack...' ♪

Piccolo: ARGH-YEGH!

Freeza: You know, I think I have an insta-fix for this situation.

Freeza: I'm going to blow you and this whole miserable planet to *nothing*!

Freeza: ISN'T THAT FUN?!

Freeza: (Unhinged laughter)

Piccolo: G...Goku, just throw the damn thing!

Goku: Can't. Not done yet.

Piccolo: What? How?!

Goku: It's only been 4 minutes and 58--

Goku: Done!

Freeza: Wha? Oh... somehow I *completely* forgot about that.

Spirit Bomb: OMNOMNOM!

Freeza: Oh my God!

Freeza: (Grunting in vain)

Freeza: 'If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake... it's that I'm dying.'

Freeza: TIAAAAAAHHHHHH...!!

Krillin: (Coughing)

Gohan: Krillin! You're okay!

Krillin: I think I swallowed a trout!

Krillin: So... Gohan... think he's dead?

Gohan: Krillin, right now I'm more worried about my Dad.

Krillin: Who do you think I was talking about?

Gohan: (Gasp)... Krillin, look!

Piccolo: (Grunt)... 'Alright, come on, you heavy bastard...! No, no one actually help me, that would a little too much...!'

Goku: (Gasps for air, then breathes regularly)

Gohan: They're both alive!

Krillin: Nnneat!

Goku: Grandpa... I don't want any more baths today... I'm clean now...

Gohan: Dad!

Goku: Hey, Gohan!

Gohan: (Joyful, relieved laughter)

Krillin: You know, I gotta admit - after what happened with Vegeta, I was pretty sure the Spirit Bomb was gonna be a dud.

Gohan: But we showed him what for.

Goku: Yeah. You could say he suffered a bad case of... Freezer burn.

Everyone: (Laughing)

Krillin: (Horrified gasp)

Freeza: By the way...not dead. KthxDIE!

Piccolo: BLEUGH-CK!

Piccolo: Fffffff**k... you...

Gohan: No... *no*... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Krillin: Whoa, for a moment there I thought that was gonna be me.

Freeza: Oh ho ho... you're next.

Krillin: Wait, what did I do to you?!

Freeza: Remember my TAIL?!

Krillin: Can't you take a joke?

Krillin: WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH! WA--!

Mr. Popo: Called it.