Episode 5

Narrator: After endless running and detours, Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way.

Narrator: How very convenient.

Goku: Oooooo!

Goku: Oh, wow!

Goku: That must be King Kai’s place!

Goku: Woohooo...

Goku: ...aaaaaaaieeeeeee--!

Goku: UGH!

King Kai: Nice job, jackass!

Goku: Oowwww...

Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space...

Nappa: Are we there yet?

Vegeta: No.

Nappa: Are we there yet?

Vegeta: No. No.

Nappa: Are we there yet?

Vegeta: No. No. No!

Nappa: Are we there yet?

Vegeta: No. No. No! *No*!

Nappa: Are we there yet?

Vegeta: No. No. No! *No*! *No*!!

Nappa: Hey Vegeta!

Vegeta: *WHAAAT*!?!?

Nappa: Can we stop at that bug planet?

Vegeta: Nappa, if it’ll shut you up for FIVE minutes, then FINE!

Vegeta: See? Look how fun this is...

Nappa: Hey, Vegeta! The locals.

Vegeta: Seems they brought a welcome service.

Nappa: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune.

Nappa: Really brings in the revenue.

Nappa: They’ll probably treat us like royalty, considering the--

Vegeta: Well...

Nappa: Yeah...

Atla: Ah, I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist King.

Nappa: Hey, Vegeta.

Vegeta: What is it?

Nappa: We're in prison, Vegeta.

Vegeta: I see that, Nappa.

Nappa: Hey.

Vegeta: What?

Nappa: *Don't drop the soap*.

Vegeta: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.

Narrator: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet...

Goku: Sooo, you're King Kai.

King Kai: That’s right. I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galax--

Goku: Ooh, a monkey!

King Kai: Yes; this is my monkey, Bubbles.

King Kai: Say hello, Bubbles.

Bubbles: (Monkey sounds)

King Kai: Alright, that’s enough, Bubbles.

King Kai: Anyway, welcome to my planet.

Goku: Man... I’m so... heavy here!

King Kai: Well, because of the small size of my planet, the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.

Gregory: That doesn’t make any sense!

King Kai: Shut up, Gregory!

King Kai: Alright, fine. How’s this for a reason:

King Kai: I have an unbelievably *powerful* space pirate locked up in the depths of my planet.

King Kai: That’s why the gravity is so heavy here.

Bojack: Yarr! Get me outta here!

King Kai: Shut up, Bojack!

King Kai: Anyway, what are you here for?

Goku: Oh! Well, King Kai...

Goku: I need you to train me.

Goku: There’s a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I’m its only hope.

Goku: I’ll do whatever it takes for you to train me.

Goku: I’ll withstand any test!

Goku: I will try as hard as I have to!

Goku: And I--

King Kai: Sure.

Goku: What?

King Kai: I'll train you.

Goku: Se... Seriously?

Goku: I thought I had to do some kind of test!

King Kai: Are you kidding me? The only company I’ve had for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate...

Bojack: Yarrr!

King Kai: ...A monkey...

Bubbles: (Monkey noises)

King Kai: ...And a grasshopper!

Gregory: Actually, I’m a cricket!

King Kai: Nobody cares!

King Kai: You tell ‘im, Bubbles!

Goku: Wow, you’re right!

Goku: I can’t imagine anything more boring than that!

Narrator: Meanwhile, on Namek...

Guru: Naaaaiiillll...

Guru: NAAAAAAAAIIIIILL!

Nail: What is it, Lord Guru?

Guru: I saw a fish.

Guru: That is all. You can go back outside now.

Nail: 'Oh God, this is so horribly dull...'

Nail: 'I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don’t care what it is.'

Guru: Naaaaail!

Nail: *What*?

Guru: It was pretty.

Guru: Kick its ass.

Nail: (Sighs heavily)

Narrator: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

Atla: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.

Another Arlian: Welcome to Oz, bitch!

Another Arlian: That’s right, YOU with the spiky hair!

Another Arlian: You’re going to be my BITCH!

Another Arlian: I’m going to sell you for a cigarette...

Another Arlian: but not before I violate you, because you’re my BI--!

King Moai: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist!

King Moai: Right, my Quee--?

King Moai: What in the great Arlian moon was that?

Nappa: Hi!

King Moai: Who the f*** are you two?

Nappa: Hi! I’m Nappa, and that’s Vegeta.

Nappa: He was a prison bitch.

Vegeta: Shut the hell up, Nappa.

Nappa: ‘K.

Vegeta: Anyway, we’re here because my partner’s an idiot.

Vegeta: Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, I think I’ll just kill you and--

Nappa: Hey Vegeta!

Vegeta: Oh God, what now?

Nappa: I think that’s their Queen! I’m curious how they breed.

Vegeta: Oh goddammit Nappa, that’s disgusting! I say we just--

Nappa: Hey! You guys! Breed for us!

King Moai: Why should we listen to *you*? You’re surrounded by my thirteen elite--

King Moai: ...dead guards.

King Moai: Well, you heard him, honey!

Nappa: They’re not doing anything. They’re just standing on top of each other, and--

Nappa: AWWWW, THERE WE GO!

King Moai: ...Oh, snap that thorax...

King Moai: ...Your sexy jowls...

King Moai: ...Ah, there we go...

Narrator: Meanwhile, back on Earth, Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.

Gohan: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you going to teach me today?

Gohan: A brand-new technique? How to sense energy?

Gohan: What about how to fly--?

Piccolo: Dodge!

Gohan: D'aah-haa!

Gohan: 'Oh, man... this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult.'

Gohan: 'But I think I’m finally getting the hang of it--'

Piccolo: DODGE!

Gohan: What? WAAAAAAAAAAA...!

Piccolo: DOOOOOOODGE!!

Gohan: D'aah-haa!

Piccolo: DOOOOOOODGE!!

Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

Superman: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans.

Superman: They’re approaching Earth quickly, and I don’t think we have the strength to take them on alone.

Superman: Batman, what are your thoughts?

Batman: Well, I think--

Aquaman: I~ have an ideaaaa~!

Batman: Oh God, it’s Aquaman...

Aquaman: Come on, guys! We could use *whales*!

Aquaman: WHAAAAAAALES!

Superman: Someone! Get him out of here!

Aquaman: But the whaaaaales...

Narrator: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

King Moai: There, I banged my wife. Will ya leave us in peace?

Vegeta: Actually, no, I’m still going to kill you.

King Moai: ...Summon the Rancor!

Nappa: Vegeta. It’s...

Nappa: It's...

Nappa: IT’S SO CUTE!

Nappa: Can I keep it? Can I keep it!?

Vegeta: Fine; just catch it or something.

Nappa: Yaaaay!

Nappa: Here, boy! Shake!

Nappa: Ahhh, got your finger.

Nappa: Okay. Now, boy! Catch the ball. Catch the ball! Huagh!

Nappa: Awwww...!

Nappa: Aw, I broke-ded it, Vegeta.

Nappa: It must’ve been made of something weak, like paper maché...

Nappa: ...or Raditz!

King Moai: Please! We’ll do anything you want!

King Moai: We’ll give you riches! Women!

King Moai: Wait, what are you doing?

Vegeta: I’m about to rock you... like a hurricane.

King Moai: I~ love that so--!

King Moai: AAUGHWRRGH!!

Vegeta: Ha! Did you see that, Nappa? That was *totally* bada--!

Vegeta: W-what are you doing?

Nappa: I’m cuddling it, Vegeta.

Vegeta: It’s dead, Nappa.

Nappa: NOOOOOOOOO!!

Nappa: (Cries)... oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta...

Nappa: Ahh, good times.

Atla: You have freed our race!

Atla: You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet!

Atla: We shall erect statues of you...

Nappa: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Vege--?

Atla: ...out of our dung.

Nappa: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Ve--?

Vegeta: We’re leaving, Nappa.

Nappa: ‘K.

Nappa: Look at us, Vegeta. We've saved an entire race from tyranny.

Nappa: We’re heroes, Vegeta. We are a couple of really great guy--

Nappa: ...Ha ha! Ahaha! Aha! Ahhhhhh... tragic.

Gohan: 'Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself.'

Gohan: 'Live on my own, and surviving off the fat of the land.'

Gohan: 'Mr. Piccolo will be so proud--'

Gohan: YAAAYYYAYAYAY...!

Gohan: Ehhgruuh...

Piccolo: DOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!