Episode 4
8:34 · 179 lines · YouTube · 2 saved quotes
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[♪ DBZ prologue theme (#1) ♪]
0:08 Narrator: Last time on Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
0:11 Narrator: Goku began his journey down Snake Way.
0:14 Narrator: Wait, is that some kind of innuendo?
0:17 Goku: (Panting)
0:18 Goku: 'This is going to be the longest, toughest journey I’ve ever made!'
0:21 Goku: 'I have to receive King Kai’s training, and battle the biggest threat to the planet we’ve ever faced!'
0:26 Goku: 'I have to run as fast as I can! I have to keep running!'
0:30 Goku: 'For the sake of the Earth, humanity, and my fam--!'
0:33 [Music cuts-off]
0:33 Goku: (Snoring)
0:36 [Sweeper hits a bump]
0:38 Goku: Ow, oh GAHHHhhhh...!
0:41 [♪ Cha-La Head-Cha-La ♪]
0:42 [Japanese Transliteration (English)]
0:43 CHA-LA HEAD-CHA-LA CHARA HECCHARA (Cha-La Head-Cha-La)
0:46 笑顔ウルトラZで Egao urutora zetto de (With a smile that's Ultra-Z,)
0:50 今日もアイヤイヤイヤイヤイ Kyô mo ai-yai-yai-yai-yai (Even today goes Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi)
0:53 Sparking! (Sparking!)
0:59 Goku: ...aaaaaaAAAAAA--!
1:02 [Crash]
1:04 Goku: Owwwww-hohh...
1:06 Goz: Ah, who do we have here? A little girly man, ja?
1:11 Goku: I'm Goku. Who are you?
1:13 Goz: I am Goz,
1:14 Mez: Und I am Mez,
1:15 Goz: Und we are here to pump... you up!
1:15 Mez: Und we are here to pump... you up!
1:17 [CLAP]
1:19 Goku: ...Okay… but I'm sorta--
1:21 Goz: First, we are going to do a hundred squats!
1:24 Mez: And then lots of push-ups on the hard ground!
1:26 Goz: Und then a bunch of Jumping Jacks!
1:28 Goz: Oooooooooh!
1:30 Goku: That... sounds like fun...?
1:32 Goku: But I’m sort of in a hurry...?
1:34 Goku: How do I get out of here?
1:35 Mez: Ach, there’s no way out of here.
1:37 Mez: Unless you manage to beat us in a test of strength and speed!
1:40 Goz: Ja! Lots of running und wrestling und sweat!
1:43 Mez: Grappling each other on the cold ground, ja!
1:47 Goku: Okay, now let’s say we went through all of that... then where would you say the exit is?
1:52 Goz: Oh, it’s right over there.
1:54 Mez: Ja, but you have to beat us first un--
1:55 Mez: Ach! He’s running avay!
1:57 Goku: Oh, before I go... Have you seen my brother Raditz around here? Spiky hair? Tail?
2:02 Mez: Ach, yes; he made a horrible mess of the blood fountain!
2:06 Goku: Looks fine to me.
2:07 Goz: IT USED TO BE WATER!
2:09 Goku: Wow...!
2:10 Goku: Well, I’m going now! By the way, thanks for the fruit!
2:13 Mez: Ach, he has a piece of the fruit, ach nein! Don’t eat the fruit, don’t eat the fruit!
2:17 Goku: Bye!
2:18 Goz: No, now we can’t make the fruit salad for King Yemma’s barbecue!
2:23 Mez: Ja, und Dabura is going to bring something totally kickass und we will have nothing und we will LOOK LIKE FOOLS!
2:28 Goz: Ach, I am so mad!
2:30 Mez: Ja, let us go work off our stress by doing squat thrusts und stretches.
2:33 Goz: Ja, und then we’ll do grappling in our speedos.
2:36 Mez: I’ll grab the oil!
2:38 Narrator: Meanwhile, back on Earth...
2:40 Narrator: Now that’s *got* to be some kind of innuendo!
2:43 [Wolf howling]
2:43 Gohan: Huh? (Whimpering)
2:47 Gohan: I can’t believe Piccolo left me out here all alone!
2:50 Gohan: How am I supposed to get down from here?
2:53 Piccolo: CLIIIIMB DOWWWN!
2:56 Gohan: I can’t even get any food or water.
2:59 Gohan: What should I do?
3:01 Piccolo: I SAID, CLIIIMB DOWWWN!
3:05 Gohan: If only I had some sticks or reeds lying around.
3:08 Gohan: I could make a makeshift ladder, or a rope...
3:11 Piccolo: UUUUURRRRRAAARRRGH!!
3:19 Kami: You have all come to train on my Lookout.
3:21 Kami: But since I am quite old, I shall leave you in the capable hands of Mr. Popo.
3:26 Kami: Mr. Popo, you know what to do.
3:29 Mr. Popo: Yes, Kami.
3:31 [Door shuts]
3:33 Mr. Popo: Alright, *maggots*, listen up! Popo’s 'bout to teach you the pecking order!★
3:38 Mr. Popo: It goes you... the dirt... the worms inside of the dirt... Popo's *stool*... Kami... then Popo.
3:47 Mr. Popo: Any questions?
3:48 Krillin: Um, yeah, I--
3:50 [SLAM]
3:50 Krillin: GOH-GAAAAAAAaaaaaahhh...!
3:53 [DING]
3:55 Mr. Popo: Enjoy the climb back up, BITCH!
3:58 Mr. Popo: Now any more questions?
4:01 Mr. Popo: Good. Then we can begin.
4:04 Goku: Okay! No more diversions! This is really important! No more sidetra—!
4:08 Goku: Oooh, a house!
4:09 Goku: 'Is that a snake?'
4:11 [Sucks]
4:11 Goku: Ahhh--!
4:11 Snake: Ackum!
4:12 Goku: Wheeeeeee--!
4:15 [Thud]
4:15 Goku: AUGHA OWWWWhowww!
4:19 [Metal Gear Solid Codec alert sound]
4:22 Servant: (Speaking)
4:24 Princess Snake: (Speaking as Solid Snake)
4:30 Princess Snake: Well, he’s quite the hunk of man-meat! But what’s with the hair??
4:36 Princess Snake: 'Ah, I just love this fur coat!'
4:38 Princess Snake: 'Especially since I killed all the animals for it myself!'
4:42 Goku: Huh? You don’t look like you'd be King Kai.
4:44 Princess Snake: What, did my magnificent breasts tip you off?
4:47 Goku: Wh-what?
4:48 Princess Snake: Nothing. Are you hungry?
4:50 Goku: Yeah! I could eat anything right now!
4:52 Princess Snake: Ah, me too.
4:54 Goku: What?
4:54 Princess Snake: Nothing! Take a seat!
4:57 Princess Snake: I killed everything here with my bare hands.
4:59 Princess Snake: Including the bear hands.
5:01 Princess Snake: It’s a PUN!★
5:02 [Chomping]
5:04 Goku: I can’t believe you took all this down yourself!
5:07 Princess Snake: Hurr, I want to take you down...
5:09 Goku: What?
5:10 Princess Snake: Nothing. Get in the hot tub!
5:12 Goku: Wow, this water’s really nice!
5:16 [Box dragging on ground]
5:22 Princess Snake: Uh, not as nice as your ass!
5:24 Goku: Huh?
5:24 [Metal Gear Solid Alert (!)]
5:25 [Box dragging]
5:27 Goku: Well, thanks for the food and stuff, but I’ve got to get to King Kai's!
5:31 Princess Snake: No! First you must pass the test of... endurance!
5:36 Goku: What's that mean?
5:37 Princess Snake: It means I want you... inside me.
5:41 Goku: What do you mean?
5:42 Princess Snake: You'll see...
5:43 Goku: Ahh!
5:45 Princess Snake: Hah!
5:46 Princess Snake: Total mis-implication!
5:47 Princess Snake: Hah!
5:47 Goku: Ahh!
5:49 Goku: Stop chasing me!
5:51 Princess Snake: Hurr, hah, hurr hah!
5:53 Goku: Stop grunting! It’s CREEPY!
5:56 Princess Snake: Ahh!
5:58 Princess Snake: Waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka waka
5:59 Goku: AAAAA
6:00 Goku: AAAAAH--
6:02 Goku: oo-ooh!
6:03 Goku: (Chomping)
6:05 Goku: AAAAA
6:05 Princess Snake: Waka waka waka waka wa--
6:06 Goku: AAAAAH--!
6:08 Piccolo: Oh for God’s sake, now he’s just standing there, looking at the moon like a retarded puppy!
6:14 Piccolo: I was *trying* to teach him to fend for himself, but nooooo~!
6:18 Piccolo: He has to be a WEAK, DEFENSELESS, LITTLE—!
6:18 Gohan: (Growling with a deepening voice)
6:20 Piccolo: Wait, is he getting bigger?
6:22 Gohan: (Oozaru roar)
6:25 [Donkey Kong theme plays]
6:25 Gohan: RAAAAARRRGH!
6:25 [Donkey Kong theme plays]
6:29 Piccolo: Okay, that’s new!
6:31 Piccolo: 'Wait a second... That tail...'
6:33 Piccolo: 'His Saiyan blood!'
6:35 Piccolo: 'Does this mean...'
6:36 Piccolo: Everyone of Gohan’s race can become a giant gorilla!
6:38 [Dramatic sting]
6:38 Gohan: ROAAAARGH!
6:43 Piccolo: Dammit, if he destroys everything, what'll be left for ME?!
6:46 [Distant sounds of explosions and roaring]
6:50 Piccolo: STOP MOCKING ME!!
6:54 Gohan: [Groaning]
6:54 [Super Mario going down pipe sound]
6:57 Piccolo: Hah! Take that, Moon! "Perfect orbit", my *ass*! And--
7:01 Piccolo: Eh, huh? Where’d the monkey go?
7:03 Piccolo: Huh... well, he’s back to normal.
7:06 Piccolo: Oh *God*, what the hell is that thing?
7:08 Piccolo: Well, whatever it is, I don’t like looking at it.
7:11 Piccolo: This either.
7:11 [POP]
7:12 Piccolo: Now... CLOTHES BEAM!
7:17 Piccolo: That is easily my most metro attack.
7:20 Narrator: Meanwhile, back on Snake Way...
7:22 Goku: Man, that was close. Sure am glad I got away from that giant Snake lady!
7:27 Princess Snake: (Grunting and groaning)
7:29 Princess Snake: AAAAH...!
7:29 [♪ Metal Gear Solid - Game Over tune ♪]
7:29 Servant: Princess Snake? Princess Snake? PRINCESS SNAAAAAKE!!
7:37 [♪ Outro (DBZ intermission) ♪]
7:43 Piccolo: Yep, and once again, wanton destruction has solved all of my problems.
7:48 Piccolo: With absolutely no negative repercussions!
7:52 [The sound of waves in the ocean]
7:54 Newsreader: We’ve got breaking news that the Earth’s Moon has been completely destroyed.
7:57 Newsreader: While the long-term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation puts the short-term death toll from tidal effects alone at the hundreds of millions.
8:06 Newsreader: We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?
8:10 Sailor Moon: OH, DEAR GOD!!
8:11 Newsreader: Thanks, Sailor! We now return you to Nick at Night’s 24-hour full house marathon already in progress.
8:18 [Radio communication]
8:19 Nappa: Hey! Vegeta!
8:20 Vegeta: What?
8:21 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:22 Vegeta: No.
8:23 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:24 Vegeta: No...
8:25 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:25 Vegeta: Nooo.
8:26 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:27 Vegeta: Nooo...
8:28 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:29 Vegeta: No.
8:30 Nappa: Are we there yet?
8:31 Vegeta: No.