Cell Vs Ash Ketchum
4:25 · 120 lines · YouTube
0:01 Narrator: We join Ash Ketchum, along with his companions, Misty and Brock, on their journey to the Pokémon League.
0:07 Misty: I feel like we're lost...
0:09 Misty: ...like usual.
0:10 Brock: Hey, I'm not the one who lost the map.
0:12 Brock: Sure would be nice if we had some kind of *mobile* device that could tell us where we are.
0:15 Pikachu: Pii... BROCK: Sure would be nice if we had some kind of *mobile* device that could tell us where we are.
0:16 Ash: Nope! Just this mobile device that tells us what Pokémon are!
0:19 Ash: Which is really more important!
0:20 Pikachu: Pika!
0:21 Pikachu: MISTY [off-screen]: Hey, look over there! Is that a man?
0:23 Pikachu: ASH [o-s]: Wow! He sure is tall...
0:25 Brock: Guys, that definitely doesn't look like a human.
0:28 Brock: I think that might be a Pokémon!
0:30 Pikachu: Pikachu!
0:31 Ash: Oh wow!
0:32 Ash: Time to use my trusty Pokédex!
0:34 Ash: POKÉDEX: "Data not found."
0:36 Ash: ASH [o-s]: Huh?!
0:36 Ash: MISTY [o-s]: And technology has failed us...
0:38 Perfect Cell: Excuse me! Children, over there!
0:40 Ash: It can talk?!
0:41 Misty: Just like Meowth!
0:43 Per. Cell: Are you here for the tournament?
0:44 Per. Cell: Because people keep showing up early to fight me, and honestly, it's really starting to get old.
0:48 Per. Cell: I mean, I set a date. The least people could do is wait for it...
0:51 Ash: You guys, I'm gonna' battle it!
0:53 Per. Cell: Oh, well, I guess that answers that question.
0:55 Ash: Let's see...
0:57 Ash: I can't tell what type it is, so let's try...
1:00 Ash: Squirtle, GO!
1:03 Squirtle: Squirtle!
1:04 Per. Cell: Wait, so *you're* not going to fight me?
1:06 Ash: Of course not! This is a Pokémon battle!
1:09 Ash: Pokémon vs. Pokémon!
1:10 Per. Cell: OK, you're saying that word, but I don't know what--
1:12 Ash: Squirtle, he's distracted! Use Water Gun!
1:15 Squirtle: Squirtle! Squirt!
1:17 Per. Cell: Well, today has been rather muggy, so... thanks?
1:21 Ash: Oh no! It didn't have any effect!
1:23 Per. Cell: So, do I just... I'm just going to attack back, is that OK?
1:26 Ash: Squirtle, use Skull Ba--!
1:28 Ash: PER. CELL [o-s]: Ha!
1:28 Squirtle: SQUIRT!
1:30 Ash: That was *Solar Beam*!
1:31 Per. Cell: Did you say Solar Flare? Because that's a totally~ dif--
1:34 Ash: No wonder water didn't work on him!
1:36 Ash: He's a GRASS-type Pokémon!
1:37 Per. Cell: All right, this seems a lot like that card game the boy with the leather pants played with me.
1:41 Per. Cell: Is this Duel Monsters? 'Cause it feels like Duel Monsters.
1:44 Ash: Charizard, GO~!
1:46 Per. Cell: Whoa, is that a friggin' dragon?!
1:48 Per. Cell: 'Cause I'm gonna be honest - THAT'S pretty metal!
1:50 Brock: Actually, it's neither a steel-type, NOR a dragon-type!
1:53 Per. Cell: ...
1:55 Ash: Charizard! Use Flamethrower!
1:58 Charizard: (Dragon roar (?))
2:00 Per. Cell: Well, now I'm dry so, good job.
2:03 Per. Cell: Managed to give me a steam bath.
2:05 Ash: Fire wasn't effective either!
2:06 Ash: Man, nothing I do is fazing it!
2:08 Per. Cell: The name's Cell, by the way!
2:09 Per. Cell: Could have at least ASKED before you started throwing critters at me.
2:12 Ash: You're pretty strong...
2:14 Ash: But Pikachu and I have fought more battles than I can count!
2:16 Pikachu: Pii! ASH: But Pikachu and I have fought more battles than I can count!
2:16 Ash: But Pikachu and I have fought more battles than I can count!
2:17 Per. Cell: Not a high number, I'm sure.
2:19 Ash: And if there's anyone that can beat you, it's him.
2:21 Ash: Go, Pika--!
2:22 Ash: JESSIE [through speakers]: Not so fast, twerps!
2:24 Ash: JAMES [ts]: We're here, we're queer, get used to it!
2:27 Ash: JESSIE [o-s]: Wrong time, wrong place, James...
2:29 Ash: JAMES [o-s]: Sorry, Jessie, sorry! Let's just... start the thing.
2:32 Jessie: Prepare for trouble!
2:34 James: And make it double!
2:35 Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
2:37 Jessie: JAMES [ts]: To unite all peoples within our nation! PER. CELL: OK, *what the f**k* is this fever dream?!
2:40 Jessie: JESSIE [ts]: To denounce the evils of truth and love! ASH [o-s]: Those guys are here to steal my Pikachu!
2:42 Jessie: JAMES [ts]: To extend our reach to the stars above! PER. CELL: OK, so you *know* these guys.
2:44 Jessie: JAMES [ts]: To extend our reach to the stars above! ASH [o-s]: Yeah! They're--
2:45 Jessie: Jessie!
2:46 James: James~!
2:47 James: JESSIE [ts]: Team Rocket blas--!
2:49 [The usual TR screams]
2:51 James: {PING}
2:52 Per. Cell: Dicks out for THOSE guys, amirite?
2:55 Brock: ...Are they gonna be OK?
2:57 Misty: Do you honestly care?
2:59 Brock: ...No. I actually don't.
3:01 Ash: Alright, then. Back to the Pokémon battle!
3:04 Ash: Pikachu! I choose--!
3:05 Per. Cell: OK, all right, real talk?
3:07 Per. Cell: I'm not a Pokémon, OK?
3:08 Per. Cell: I don't even know what they are, like, wha-- what IS a Pokémon?
3:12 Ash: It's a...
3:13 Ash: "Pocket Monster".
3:14 Per. Cell: Are they in your pocket?
3:16 Ash: No - they're on my belt. In Pokéballs.
3:19 Per. Cell: Then they're not pocket monsters!
3:21 Per. Cell: *They're*... belt monsters.
3:24 Per. Cell: *BALL* monsters!
3:25 Per. Cell: No, no, no, they're *CAPSULE* monsters!
3:28 Per. Cell: And you *duel* with them!
3:30 Per. Cell: So, they're *GODDAMNED Duel* Monsters!
3:33 Ash: Th-- then, you're not a Poké--?
3:35 Per. Cell: No, I am not a goddamn Pokémon!
3:38 Per. Cell: Now get out of here, before I murder you and your little yellow rat!
3:42 Per. Cell: Also, the guy who keeps squinting at me and your ginger girlfriend!
3:44 Per. Cell: Sh-sh-shoo, sh-sh-shoo.
3:45 Ash: C'mon, Pikachu. Let's go find us a Pokémon Center.
3:49 Pikachu: PIKA~!
3:49 Per. Cell: Oh my God, this is the longest seven days I've ever waited in my life.
3:53 Per. Cell: I should've scheduled it for a Wednesday.
3:55 Per. Cell: Kill everyone on Hump Day! Insult to injury, th--
3:58 Per. Cell: ...*is that f**king Freeza*?!
4:00 [DBZ intermission (post-commercial)]
4:05 Per. Cell: Hey guys, my name is Stefan, and I was your editor for this video,
4:08 Per. Cell: I hope you enjoyed it!
4:09 Per. Cell: If you did, you may also enjoy the crossover video Team FourStar did with Pokémon Abridged, Ash vs. Cell!
4:14 Per. Cell: And when you're done with that, maybe check out Episode 2 of my show, Fist Master.
4:17 Per. Cell: It's an animated show that commenters have been saying is like Dragonball Z meets Rick and Morty.
4:22 Per. Cell: So, maybe check those things out if you want.