Cell Vs Light Yagami

Cell: Oh... what am I hearing right now and can I buy it on Amazon?

Light: "Perfect Cell", huh?

Light: What a joke.

Cell: Well, hello there, young man!

Cell: Do you need help with your thesis? Well, here's a hypothesis for you:

Cell: "Cell will kill me if I don't turn my men's warehouse-looking ass around and march out of his ring!"

For Evidence: I provide this squirrel.

The Conclusion Is: Yes, I will kill you.

The Conclusion Is: Did you get that one down?

Light: I am no mere schoolboy. You're speaking to the God of this new world.

Cell: Wow! OK! And I thought it was a little gaudy when *I* said it. (Chuckles)

Cell: Then suddenly Justin Timberlake straddles up with his tie too tight and locks so luscious.

Cell: That for the ladies, or do you go to an all-boys school and meet with the other students behind the bleachers?

Light: Hrrmm...! CELL: Naw, but seriously, why are you here?

Cell: Naw, but seriously, why are you here?

Cell: [Quiet heartbeat sounds and haunting music] Taking photos for Snapchat?

Cell: [Heartbeats and music getting louder] "Well, come here, fam, let's get lit! Get in here, we'll take some selfies!"

Cell: [Heartbeats and music getting louder] "First one will be serious!"

Cell: [Heartbeats and music getting louder] "Second one we'll make a funny face and put a sweet filter on it!"

Cell: [Heartbeats and music approaching a crescendo] "An--"

Cell: Did you...

Cell: did one of my hearts just stop??

Light: (Choked gasp)

Cell: Did you just use a magical notebook given to you by a Death God to give me a heart attack?

Light: Ryuk?

Light: AAAAAAAAAGH...!!

Cell: Ah, damn it, I should have said "Zac Efron".